Reasons the Ex Still Calls/Texts

Brace yourself, this article won’t be smooth going down–but we’re used to that right? Meaning, life has gotten meaner, rougher and just lost some if its innocence. Where did it go? I think it went over to Charlie Sheen’s house. And speaking of unexplainable craziness, let’s talk about that ex that just won’t quit with the calls or the texts or the e-mails and whatever else they’re doing.

But let’s break it down, what are the reasons the ex still wants to keep in touch? I recently did a poll on Facebook and this is what the general population was doing at 6PM yesterday…they were on facebook ready to answer–a dating blogger’s dream come true! (I guess Dancing with the Stars wasn’t on yet?)

‍

As always, matters of the heart are about perception, meaning–my facebook poll never implied negativity…or that it was a bad thing that the EX is still calling, in fact, I still keep in contact with all my EXs (yes, Big Daddy knows) and we’ve created better friendships from it. But the word EX always implies “something gone wrong” in a bad way and logically speaking, there’s truth to that otherwise you’d still be together…or would you? Maybe it was distance, timing, a series of bad hair days, I don’t know the answer for you–but is it always a bad thing that the ex wants to keep in touch?

I’ve been open about my last relationship and how I walked in on him having sex with a mutual “friend” and that devastated me, but it also allowed me to re-think how I contribute to a relationship; I wasn’t the ideal boyfriend either and when he’d verbalize, “Nando, I don’t feel close to you anymore,” I’d ignore him, turn up the Golden Girls and tell him he was crazy. So while I was shocked at the way he decided to execute his exit strategy, I wasn’t surprised. Now, we’re on speaking terms, and I use him as a sounding-board from time to time because he knows the crazy shit I do in relationships–and can objectively say, “You’re on the wrong path, bitch–you did the same to me!”

Other’s aren’t so lucky, their Exs call them on Valentine’s Day to let them know they’re now involved with a wannabe stripper who just installed a pole in her living room and they just had a night of unbridled ecstasy. WTF? But in reality, the truth really was: Yes, a stripper pole was involved, but the idiot slipped because she was high on ecstasy while attempting to do an inverted flip and spun across the floor which resulted in a concussion when she hit the legs on the couch and their Valentine’s Day also involved a police report and a visit to the emergency room. (TRUE STORY, not mine, but TRUE!)

I learned a huge life lesson from my last relationship and although I’ll never be the perfect boyfriend, I do pride myself in knowing that I’m a work in progress, flaws and all. And while I understand we all can’t have wonderful new relationships with our Exs who cheated on us or dumped us for a younger, firmer, and 4-inches larger than us version…we can at least move-on and figure out our personal role in the whole debacle…or can we? When my Exs call, it’s not to haunt, taunt, or anything else negative…and that keeps me answering the calls.

What do you think about your Exs? What’s your relationship with your Ex now? Leave a comment and let’s start the discussion!