Are You Stuck in a Toxic Relationship? Here Are the Top 5 Things to Identify

When you are on the outside looking in, it’s easy to identify troublesome behavior that’s happening between your friend and their spouse. But it can be much more difficult to acknowledge toxic relationship problems when you are the one who is actually in the relationship.

Victims with toxic partners want to see the best in their spouse. They may continually give them the benefit of the doubt or are simply so used to how their partner treats them that they don’t see the bad behavior that is right in front of them.

Are your friends consistently telling you that you aren’t being treated well in your relationship? Don’t let a toxic partner take away your spirit and your light.

Here are 5 warning signs that your relationship problems have become dangerous to your mental or physical health.

1. Communication is Beyond Lacking

Healthy relationships are all about open and honest communication.

You should feel like you can talk to your partner about anything, and vice-versa. Talking is how couples resolve problems, deepen their romantic friendship, and strengthen marital happiness. If your partner refuses to communicate or problem-solve with you like a mature and respectful adult, there will be more relationship problems to come.

Passive-aggressive behavior may seem like a sarcastic way to move on, but it can actually be a sign of a major relationship problem. Spouses who are passive aggressive will use these subtle attacks to belittle you or to prevent any real communication from happening.

Even the happiest and most loving couples will have arguments every now and then.

Part of healthy communication is learning to solve problems in a way that is mature and respectful. When you ask “Are you alright?” and your partner responds with something like “I’m fine” or “Whatever” it is a sign that they are trying to undercut healthy communication.

2. They’re Controlling

Toxic partners love to have an element of control in the relationship. Some signs of a controlling partner include:

  • Makes unreasonable demands of you
  • Expressed unhealthy jealousy
  • Stalks you
  • Manipulates you
  • Has control over your phone/social media/e-mail accounts
  • Never apologize/Consistently makes you feel like you are wrong
  • Verbal abuse that is belittling or degrading

Another one of the biggest relationship problems for someone who is controlling is to try to isolate you from friends and family. That is because they know these are the people who would be the most likely to help you out of your toxic relationship.

They may suggest that your family or friends are “against them” and that they don’t like you hanging out together. An outright request for you to stop hanging out with those people could also happen.

Your toxic spouse may also try and move you out of the city with them to get you away from your loved ones.

3. You feel Bad All the Time

A healthy relationship is one that makes you feel good about yourself. You should feel loved, supported, and safe.

The biggest factors in a long-lasting, successful relationship are respect, treating each other like best friends, viewing your relationship as sacred, and spending quality time together. In fact, research shows that married couples experience significantly less stress and greater happiness when they are spending quality time together.

Is this how you feel in your relationship?

If you consistently feel on edge, insecure, or worthless when you are around your spouse, you are definitely dealing with a toxic partnership.

4. Volatile Partner

Do you feel like you are always walking on eggshells when you are around your partner? Are you afraid when your phone goes off for fear that your spouse is going to have a bad reaction to the person who is texting you?

These are clear signs that your spouse has an unstable personality.

A volatile partner will have high-highs and low-lows. Even if they are in a good mood one minute, it won’t take but a second for you to set them off into a rage.

The oxytocin released when two loving partners interact on a physical level has been proven to reduce anxiety. If this sounds like the opposite of your relationship or you often feel a bubble of stress when trying to predict your partner’s mood, this could be a toxic situation.

5. Physical or Emotional Abuse

One of the most common relationship problems in a toxic partnership is the presence of emotional or physical abuse.

Emotional abuse can be just as devastating to your psyche as physical violence. Signs of emotional abuse include:

  • Passive-aggressive hostility
  • Gaslighting; manipulating a victim to the point that they believe they are crazy
  • Threatening a partner
  • Threatening one’s own wellbeing to guilt a partner into submission
  • Monitoring everything you do
  • Demeaning/belittling/humiliating you
  • Threatening to hurt loved ones

Physical abuse is another sign of severe toxicity in a relationship. Signs of physical abuse include: pushing, hitting, kicking, punching, slapping, biting, kicking, threating or abusing a partner with an object, and rape.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 4,774,000 women will experience physical violence at the hand of her intimate partner each and every year.

Not only is this terribly common, but it can also be deadly. Further statistics show that 3 women will be murdered every day by their romantic partner.

It is never okay, under any circumstances, for your partner to lay their hands on you in an aggressive or violent way. This is definitely toxic behavior and you should start creating a strategy to get out of this highly dangerous situation as soon as possible.

Are your relationship problems turning toxic?

If so, it may be time to consider getting some professional help. Whether you need the help of an organization like the National Domestic Violence Hotline (reachable at 1−800−799−7233) or a marriage therapist, it’s best to make your move soon before things get out of hand.

Giving the Best Gift on Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day gift ideas from a life coach

There is no doubt that Valentine’s Day is one of the highlights of the year. Originally a celebrated feast in honor of Saint Valentine, who defied the prohibition to solemnize marriage between young men and women in the Roman Empire, Valentine’s Day has become part of every modern society. This is the perfect day to show your love not only to your lover, but also to your mother, father, siblings, friends, and all the people who matter to you.

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Trending This Winter: Minimalist Conversational Pieces by JORD




Because of cell phones — the go-to question of “What time is it?” used to work when caught in an awkward networking event where you knew no one or when trying to break the ice with a stranger is no longer relevant. So what’s a person in modern times to do? Purchase a JORD wooden watch, that’s what!

I’m not suggesting that having a JORD watch is the answer to all our social anxiety problem — but it’s pretty damn close. I partnered with JORD a few weeks ago to inquire about the beauty, the craftsmanship, and the conversational starter qualities of the brand and to my surprise it far exceeded my expectations.

I’m a life coach by profession and I had the opportunity to run an experiment at a conference a few days ago that included wearing the watch. I brought two watches and I wore the not JORD brand the first half of the conference and switched to my Hyde Kosso and Gray watch for the second half. The amount of people who came up to me, with no provocation while wearing the wooden masterpiece was phenomenal. I had inquires about the watch, I was approached on the style by both men and women who were intrigued by it, so much so, that they demanded a closer look. The common phrase thrown about was, “It’s just so stylish!”

Here’s some background on the company.

JORD is run by artists, designers, marketers, and minders. We spend our days creating, considering, arguing, and hopefully agreeing. Then we’ll scrap it all for the joy of starting new. We have fun. This is our journey.

We are focused on creating timepieces that are modeled after a modern lifestyle. We value sustainability, efficiency, and experiential living. We make our watches for people who don’t just have somewhere to be, they have somewhere to go.

What I like about the watch is that it’s truly light weight and because you’re asked to measure the exact circumference of your wrist — there’s no movement to the watch as it fits securely and snuggly (without pinching) on my wrist. Half the time I didn’t even realize I was wearing the watch because of how light it felt.

It’s a sexy watch and JORD offers several styles which truly made it hard to select just one. In reality, I wanted five but in the end I decided on the Hyde Kosso & Gray because to me, it looked the most classic and it would go with my causal look but it would also compliment anything more formal, in my opinion.

Interested in the specs, here you go:  

Features

  • sapphire crystal glass
  • metal tipped hands
  • deployment buckle with push buttons
  • push crown
  • case width: 43mm
  • case thickness: 12mm
  • lug ends: 53.2mm
  • band thickness: 20.36mm
  • band length: 150mm

Finish & Care

The natural kosso wood is hand finished and pretreated with tung oils. The Hyde is splash-proof but should not be submerged in water (3 ATM).

Lemon or orange oil extract is best for cleaning the natural wood. When storing this timepiece, avoid extremely hot, cold, and excessively dry/humid environments.
For me, this watch is not just a watch, it’s an accessory that adds to the style of what I bring to events, my coaching sessions, or just at play. Valentines’ day is literally just around the corner, if you’re looking to step up your gift game this year, consider purchasing a JORD — since the manufacturers of the conversation hearts won’t be putting the candy out this year — this certainly replaces candy with words as your conversation starter.

Contest Time!

For the chance to win $100 towards a JORD watch of your own, enter my contest here! Everyone who enters will receive 10% off just for trying. Good luck!

Great Hair Products, Do they Really Exist?

Me, embracing the volume of my hair!

With so many companies claiming they create great hair products — who can you trust? Because I’ve dealt with the “hair struggle” since I was 10 years old (experimented with perms, hair straighteners, and bleach by age 11) I personally found that the only way to truly tell if a product produces results (for your hair) is to try it yourself–and that’s just the opportunity I was given by Formulate when they reached out and asked me to collaborate with them. In this blog post I will give you my true experience and reaction after using their product five times…so far!

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Group Coaching Will Have Your Life Looking, How You Say, Tres Magnifique!

As a Life & Success Coach I must admit that I was confronted when asked if I’d ever consider coaching inside of a group setting. The idea of having people be vulnerable with me alone can be confronting to a client…and now having to do that with other strangers — well, get out of here! But once I got clear on how group coaching can provide an extra layer of support to each individual in the group, well, that’s when everything changed for me and for my clients!

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