In my running around and mental state of, “it’s all about Nandoism,” I received an e-mail from my friend Elisa. And we, as a collective whole, throw the word “friend” out a lot, but to me, it’s reserved and used only for people who elevate me to a higher state of being, whether it’s through their humor, authenticity, courage or other unique super power they have…that I admire. Needless to say, Elisa is a friend. And she forwarded a post about a blogger who recently lost her life on July 10th in a car accident. Her husband, new to blogging, wrote the last post in her blog and dedicated it to her awesome contribution to him becoming a better man, husband and father, through knowing her.
In her e-mail, explaining why she sent the blog along, Elisa wrote, “…read this blog today: a fellow blogger died in a car accident, and her husband wrote a lovely post. You know who came to mind if this happened and who would write a post about me, you.”
Without even clicking over to read the post (I later did, and think everyone reading this should read it too) I cried. Because I’ve been so caught up in me, that I haven’t taken the time out to love, appreciate or convey my sense of unmeasureable gratitude to the people in my life that make it a better experience for me. To think that we’re all alone in this huge Earth is a sad state of mind and I know people who genuinely feel like an isolated island–disconnected from the world. I don’t share this feeling because of 3 special people in my life. Cris, Elisa, and Santiago.
Cris, how do I explain that you’re my arm, my leg, my eyes and 1/2 of my heart? It may sound strange to people to feel that way about another person, but you and I have been doing it for years, 26. Meeting you in the 4th grade, in Ms. Butler’s class has brought so much meaning into my life. And although I didn’t like you at first, which boy likes girls, even at that age–you have given me the opportunity to experience unconditional love.
Every straight girl/gay guy relationship is unique and our gayship (gay-friendship) has taken us on a journey that’s tested our limits and yet we continue to bounce back through our resilient Mexican nature; resulting in a stronger bond. I remember you accompanying me to Paris because I wanted to go with some who was going to be in my life, forever. I was celebrating finally being a US citizen and you were just celebrating “us”. As I look back at that trip and experience our zany adventures like when I couldn’t find a bathroom and we walked 3 miles to finally have you “stand guard” as I ended up inside the woman’s loo or running with you when you “against the laws of France” video-taped the Mona Lisa and had three security guards chasing you inside Le Louvre.
I was there on your wedding day (both of them–I know you’re gonna kill me) and at the birth of your two children. You made sure that I grew “up” even during the times I didn’t want to. I’ve changed diapers, taught them ABC’s, and showed your kids how fabulous it is to use their imaginations to break out-of-the-box when it comes to one-way thinking. You’ve always encouraged my presence around them. You cheer me up, you let me boss you around, you love me without limits and I feel it–do you understand that for 26 years I have felt it…and it’s amazing, Cris. Our gayship has no expectations, no boundaries and, I hope, no expiration date. Because of you, I am me. And you’ve helped me redefine that, accordingly. Chateera, I Thank you.
Elisa, sweetie, I’m not waiting until tragedy hits to express how valuable you are to me. What you provide is a constant and growing level of support that seems to get bigger every year. You allow me to flow through life, changing careers and life paths; yet, encourage me every step of the way. It’s your logical, yet warm tenderness that gives me the mental “ok” to keep doing what I do. (Remind me again, what I do?)
Sister, you have the courage of a thousand Vikings, your state-of-mind is inspiring because when life tells you “No,” you prove it wrong. I’ve seen you blossom from a shy and meek girl into a bold, adventure-taking woman and a magnificent blogger (and I hate you at times because you’re better than me, and I’ve been doing it longer). But your success, is mine and mine is yours. I remember when I finally got my own apartment in New York, you flew down to buy me all the esstenials, pots, pans, plates. I thought, “How could someone be so giving?”
You’ve shown me love. You’ve let me feel it. I still have, in my kitchen, those set of plates that you bought me, ten years ago. And no matter how many chips they have, I’ll never throw them away, because they aren’t just plates, they’re examples of your kindness and inner-beauty. How do I see you? Like a star, shining bright, helping lead paths. Kiki, you’re an amazing woman.
And last, but not least, my little Santiago. I never imagined time would fly so quickly, and as we steadily hit our 5 month mark, our tiny little love-adventure has been both fun and beautiful. Us being together is like King Kong dating Bambi. I never thought our dynamic would work so well together but you teach me patience and show me love, regardless of my “evil” condition.
I have the best time when I’m around you and just like yesterday evening when I was showing you how to use the clone stamp in photoshop, you were taking notes in your little notebook and so eager to learn, I was shocked at how amazed you were when you did it on your own. Your sweet smile, like that of a 4-year-old who was just rewarded with a cupcake, was priceless. You have an innocence that I long lost years ago because of the journey I’ve taken–but through you, I’m allowing myself to experience the simple joys in life.
You are my Mexican prince. Sorry for being super sarcastic this morning when you asked me to pass you the Axe Body Spray, but you know I’m a Mexican bitch and you just continue to take deep breathes and roll your eyes at me, because I’m not gonna change, but I think you like me for that. You support me, you encourage me, and you love me. For that, you deserve some sort of peace-prize, but for now, my gratitude is all I have to offer. I love you, my little German. (And don’t expect me to do laundry, ever again.) P.s. A new condom company sent us their new product called, Sensis Condoms with Quick Strips, to test out, so we will be busy this weekend.