Orgasmic Mediation – The Practice of OM

We were running late for an event my husband was invited to. We had to be there by 7pm and I was growing angrier by the second because the New York subway system is never predictable and you have to incorporate some leeway time. I hate being late. I have a story in my mind that people will think I’m not responsible and that I’m a low down dirty scoundrel so I make it a point to arrive 15 minutes early to anything I’ve committed too.

This wasn’t my commitment, the invite was for my husband through a networking group, and he asked if I could come and now we were both late running out of our Brooklyn apartment.We get out of the train on Canal Street in Manhattan and rush to the venue, it’s 6:55.  Although not technically late, but in my heart we are, we run up one flight of stairs and as I reached to open the door, a man’s head popped out.

Nando: Hi, is this the place where the event’s taking place?
Man: Yes, but you’re an hour early.

Cut to German and I sitting at a Starbucks across the street.

As we sit in total silence, I try putting things into perspective. He obviously didn’t do this on purpose and I should get over it, because let’s face it–me staying angry isn’t good for the relationship. We leave Starbucks 45 minutes later and I make a mad dash into the Chipotle next door to the venue for a drink. (Starbucks doesn’t carry sodas and I was in the mood for a soft drink)  Now, crunching on ice and sipping my sprite, I’m in a better mood and we enter the building and head up the stairs. I get a strong case of deja vu. This time, the door was open and inside was a beautiful room that may or may have not been feng shui’d to the point that I felt I’d bring the energy level down by stepping inside.

There was a peace-vibe to the place. People were already there and chairs were arranged in a semi circular around two other chairs separated with a table in between them. On the table was a large beautiful white lilly in a vase next to two glasses of water.

I’m really not sure what’s going to happen, what I’m going to see, but the room set up tells me there will be a lecture or talk of some sort with two people so I make my way to the end seat of the front row. German stays by the door and signs us in. When he’s done, he takes the seat to my right.

Nando: What is this? Why are we here, again?
German: I was invited by the speaker who I meet a few weeks ago at a networking event. She does some type of “seminar” with single people and since I do online dating photos for singles, we figured we’d be a great referral source for one another.
Nando: Oh, that makes sense. Ok.

As I scope out the room the chairs fill up with mostly men. There’s a woman who came up and introduced herself. She had large bouncy curls and was wearing a t-shirt that said, “OOOMM WOMAN” across the front. She said her name was Rose and she seemed a little too happy for my taste.

Then, a woman walked over to the front of the chairs and introduced herself as Aubrey.

Aubrey: Hi, thank you for coming. We are going to listen to Ellie and her husband talk about their relationship and how they partake in The Practice of OM.

My ears perked up. Relationship? Yaaaas! Okay, I can get into this. The couple took their seats and were each carrying white coffee mugs, the extra long kind. They sat down and the 20 people present became silent.

Ellie: Hi, thank you for being here and being open to hear about The Practice of OM, orgasmic mediation. I will tell you how my husband stimulates my clitoris and how the effects have brought our relationship to a whole new level of respect, awareness and closeness. I have more energy, a deeper connection with myself and others and a greater capacity for intimacy and sex.

My stomach flinched. Clitoris? I was now staring at the lilly thinking, was that an intentional flower selection for the evening? Was that flower foreshadowing and was its main purpose to ease me into this conversation? Oh, and Orgasmic mediation?

I’ve seen a vagina — just never in person and I’ve created a lifestyle in which talking about one isn’t the norm. Where was I? Orgasmic mediation?

Ellie: The female orgasm is the answer to all of the world’s problems. We call it The Practice of OM and we practice it daily.

She went on to explain that an intro class is offered once a month and how in the beginning, after first hearing of the practice, she signed up but kept rescheduling for the class, something was keeping her from coming (pun intended). She eventually attended and was blown away at the knowledge and started practicing OM.

Picture it: A woman with her bottom half exposed possibly on a yoga mat while a male of her choosing (he also agrees, it’s a mutual choice) puts on gloves and begins to stimulate the clitoris for at least 15 minutes which opens up a new realm of self awareness and connection to the world. This is basically the practice of OM.

As Ellie goes into how this has changed her relationship to relationships and how her new marriage of under 1 year is in a total state of bliss, I kept trying to connect how clitoris and the state of the world were intertwined. As I sat there, looking around at the other men in the room, judging them, I thought — surely they are thinking, “The two guys sitting next to one another in the from row seem of a homosexual nature — why are they here?” And I had the same question.

I learned how Ellie and her husband met in an OM class and how they got married a few months after meeting and they were still in there honeymoon phase. If I understood correctly, the “sexual in nature” connotation of stimulating the clitoris to achieve self awareness isn’t sexual in nature after all–there are principals, philosophies to practicing and it. I still had many questions. I corned one of the other female attendees and asked if I could ask her some additional questions. I told her I was a dating and relationship blogger and I was considering writing a piece on this since women are nandoism’s biggest audience. (78% of my audience are fabulous women around the globe) She was open about her practice, which she explained she had only started about a week ago, and from her, I understood that it was a ritual, a practice–like mediation or yoga and it truly wasn’t about sex. Now, because of practicing, when you do have sex, it may result in ecstasy and orgasms like you’ve never experiences before but that was a the purpose of practicing.  Towards the end of our conversation, Ellie walked up to us with a large smile and open heart.

Female attendee: Hi Ellie, Nando is a blogger and he’s thinking of writing a piece on the practice.

Ellie: Oh, that’s wonderful, do you want to come to our intro class in 1 week?  I could ask and see if we can comp you.
Me: (starring at her in shock with thoughts of clitoris’ and visions of vaginal parts dancing in my head)

Silence.

Me: Still staring at her. Orgasmic mediation?
Ellie: I mean, if you’re gonna write about it, you might as well learn it, right? Just let me know.

She walked off to greet other attendees. Will I have to touch a vagina? Can I just skip that part of class? There a Chipotle next door I can run into during that part? I hear their Sprites are good! I’ve yet to contact Ellie about attending. Yes, women make up the majority of my readers, but do I really want to attend and get to know them that well? I have 5 more days to decide, until then, I’ll just do as many other men do, ignore the clitoris keep it moving and OM to myself.

Should I take the class? Leave your comment and let’s discuss.

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