New York City has the best offerings a city can have. Whether you’re looking for a job, an apartment, or even a new boyfriend–what you discover here will always be one-of-a-kind and just as you’re about to give up the relentless search, the one thing you’ve been looking for–ends up finding you.
This past Tuesday was a big day for me because I had a meeting with a literary agent who wanted to represent me and work on a two book deal. I was on an all-time high, but also full of nervous energy because I also had my first date with a guy I met online the previous week. It was raining and New York City was covered with a freshness that only the rain could bring; it set the scene for my romantic first date with Santiago. I was inside Grand Central–off to the side–checking my e-mails on my iPhone when I got a text, “I’m here.”
I looked up and I saw him; he was slowly moving towards me. We had agreed to meet there because it was centrally located; he was getting off work and I was leaving my meeting. He was handsome, Mexican, had a perfect fit body and the dark hue on his skin gave him a natural glow. I had butterflies. As he got closer, he flashed a smile that changed his features. The guy walking up to me was sophisticated, manly, rugged–but the smile transformed his masculine nature into a sexy boyish-vibe. And although he’s 25-years-old, something about him said, old-soul.
Because of the rain, he suggested we go downstairs to a place he was familiar with that served good margaritas. The conversation was never-ending, flowing, and fun. I’ve never been out with a Mexican guy before so I found it interesting that we geared the conversation towards family. He also wanted to hear more stories about Cris–my bff. He found our relationship to be extraordinary, which it is–there aren’t too many people out there who can keep a 25-year relationship alive like we have–and anyone who has seen us interact will stare in amazement because it’s not even a friendship that we’ve created–it’s its own love/anger/surprise/fight/support/ramble/encourage/empower bubble.
In the middle of our date, Santiago reached over the table, grabbed my left hand and playfully started stroking it. The waiters came, he never stopped, the owners came to say hello to him, he never let go. In all my 34-years of being gay, I’ve never seen another gay Mexican show public display of affection in front of other Mexicans or Latin people–there’s just such a negative stigma around it. Santiago was definitely one-of-a-kind. He told me how his family practically disowned him when he came out to them years ago. The more he talked, the more Santiago became an extraordinary man in my eyes. He came from Mexico at the age of 15, struggled because he didn’t know the English language, but immediately found work–so many here in the US are willing to hire illegal immigrants because they get away with paying below the minimum wage. As he slowly accumulated funds to bring his own siblings over–remember, he’s making less than minimum, they kicked him out of the house forcing him to find another place here in Brooklyn to live.
As he spoke about his family, his grip on my hand tightened. It still affected him, how could it not, but his spirit was light and happy. He flashed another smile and the mood lightened up. We spoke about our childhood and how we both used to watch similar Spanish TV shows.
Nando: Yeah, did you ever watch El Chavo Del Ocho?
Satiago: Of course!
Nando: What about La India Maria?
Santiago: Yeah,I love her!
Nando: Oooh, and Chiquillalas? Did you watch that?
Santiago: No, I never heard of it.
Nando: What kind of Mexican are you? Sure, it was like in 1982.
Santiago: Nando (he put his head down) I wasn’t born then.
Nando: Oh.
Despite the age difference, which I found to be sexy, we had so much in common. It was getting late and after three hours of sipping on Margaritas it was time to leave. The check came and he insisted on paying–which I refused since I was the one who initiated the first date. And then he refused to let me pay, so we split the bill. I think we gay boys have advanced in dating–at least that arena–we aren’t stuck on who pays on the first date and we’re happy to split the bill–there’s no power struggle or expectations there. Don’t you just wanna be gay?
As we left the Grand Central, the rain never stopped pouring. And get this, we both ride the Q train and we’re only two train stops away from each other. You see, this first date was all about discovery and getting to know one another–we rarely texted, never called, and didn’t even exchange emails with one another–I followed my own 5 tips to follow before your first date.
Santiago: Mine is bigger than yours.
Nando: Excuse me?
Santiago: (blushing) Umbrella. My umbrella is bigger than yours, let just use mine, hold on to my arm, ok?
And just like that we walked through the rain in New York City sharing an umbrella. While on the train, he held my hand and when my stop was approaching he quickly asked, “When can I see you again?” As I got up and walked out of the train, I looked back and said, “Friday, let’s meet up Friday.” The doors closed and he train left, with Santiago–flashing his beautiful smile at me and everyone on the train platform.
I love it… smooth and effortless is how all dating (including online) should be. I’m excited!
xoxo
@theBigGirlBlog-I’m excited too! Thanks for stopping by to read and commenting!
this was really sweet. waling hand in hand in the rain under a single umbrella… every date should be this romantic!
good luck with this one nando!
jfb
@Jackie–It was a sweet date. Not all of them are like that,
as you know…MR. DATING EXPERT BLOGGER!! The romance
factor was there–let’s see where it goes. (And can’t wait to finally meet’cha!)
Awwww yay!!! This sounds like a PERFECT first date! I hope you enjoy every second of whatever this turns out to be!
@Holly–It was nice a very nice date and I admit it was because we were so eager to learn about one another.
I defied all prior ideas of texting, emailing and calling–so there was massive build up, you know?
He’s a sweetie and I’m looking forward to Friday.
I want to meet him, Santiago! He sounds like a wonderful person. A friend to have!!
Congrats on the two-book deal. WOW!! so happy for you!!!!
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..Thoughts of a 30-something woman =-.
@Elisa–ah Kiki, you know I owe my success to you
and everyone in your family. You have always been my #1 supporters.
And yes, Santiago is a nice guy. I called your mom and told her about him,
scared that she wouldn’t approve because he was Mexican–and she replied
with–”No todos los Mejicanos son ANIMALES como tu sabes quien!”
Child she had me laughing!
Tres romantical… I hope it works out. By first impressions he sounds like a keeper.
.-= Twanji Kalula´s last blog ..Yes, I Am =-.
@Tanji–I’m not one to fall fast–so let’s see where it goes,
but I honestly respect him and admire him–he’s young, but has an old soul
and has struggled–that’s what makes his light shine so bright when he smiles.
Awwww – so awesome Nando. You have had quite a week. This sounded like an awesome first date for both of you and the beginning of something. Good luck on Friday – but I have a feeling you’ve got that in abundance already.
@Mike-it’s fun, you know? And 2010 is looking good for us all,
isn’t it? Now, I have to go to the gym, I’m trying to keep a 25yo hottie!
Wait! No kiss?!
I like the sound of this guy. What spoke the most was respect. Love that.
.-= Dating Diva´s last blog ..Dear Interwebs, He Loves Me =-.
@Dating Diva–That’s for another blog–the first date kiss–but there was a kiss,
you’ll have to call me though to get the “inside scoop”. heheh
That is so sweet, Nando. I am happy for you. I hope that someday I will meet someone with whom I can make that kind of connection. Good luck to both of you.
.-= Ciaran (@CiarOD)´s last blog ..Trusting =-.
Ah, thanks for stopping by buddy…you’re a baby,
so you have plenty of time to do your thang! ;0)
here is to more of these dates to come (maybe not all in the rain) xo
.-= LostPlum´s last blog ..don’t you wish your girlfriend was… =-.
@LostPlum–I second that, sister!
I’m glad your first date went to so well. 2010 looks good on you.
.-= Nina´s last blog ..Belly Aching =-.
@Nina–thanks, it’s a lot of hard work and following a few dating tips
from a certain Mexican blogger, oh wait–that’s me! hehe, I’m my
own testimony!
I haven’t had a date this romantic since 1994 with Lyndsey Fox. We had a picnic on the school lawn. She dumped me a week later because I wouldn’t kiss her with tongues. Shame.
.-= Fishy´s last blog ..Mildred to the Rescue =-.
@Fishy–romance was the name of the night.
But I can’t take credit–mother nature had a major role that evening,
thanks to the sexy rain. Little Fishy, let’s just say the date ended with a whole
lotta tongue–hehe.
Sniff…love. What a beautiful post! A 2-book deal AND a man like Santiago. Life doesn’t get much better. Sigh.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..The break-up conversation: should you Twitter or text it? =-.
@Kelly–thanks for the comment, it was a nice first date.
And extra thanks for the book congrats–let’s hope it all works out–both situations!
;0)
Good move to take it slow on your part…
.-= Twanji Kalula´s last blog ..Yes, I Am =-.
@Twanki Kalula – slow and steady wins the race, right?
Let’s hope so.
oh santiago santiago…sounds like poetry
@Cris–thanks for the lecture, and for the support.
I loved the way you presented your first date to us out in cyberland. I was glued to every word and felt all the butterflies with you. Just a beautiful story with lots of promise. We need more of you around.
.-= ifelicious´s last blog ..America’s Greenest School Contest: Win a free concert by The Maine =-.
@ifelicious–thanks for the compliment comment. Glued to every word, hu?
That’s a major compliment. Thank you.
Awwww .. so romantic ! the perfect first date
I felt myself transported side by side with you !
And congrats on the 2 book deal !!! that’s awesome !
.-= Dazediva´s last blog ..Valentines Luck … =-.
@DazeDiva–thanks sweetie, the comment love was lovely!
Awwww! Don’t you just love New York! Such a magical place! That is so fun to hear about your date. Thanks for sharing.:) And plus you had your big interview. Things seem to be looking up!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..How to Set Up a Home Darkroom =-.
@Kelly–I heart NYC! Thank you for stopping by and reading
and for leaving a comment–it makes me shine brighter than a bag of heroin wrapped in foil.
;0)
Aww, I love it! Reading that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. What a lovely first date.
You’ve made me even more excited about my upcoming trip to NYC, it’s so romantic….*drifts off into dreamland*
.-= TheSingleFilez´s last blog ..Do Black Women Get The Short End of The Dating Stick? =-.
*Deep eyelash fluttering sigh* This gives me hope that someday my Prince will hold my hand on the D train
Congrats Papito, and yes Chiquilladas is on DVD, I ‘seent’ it in Queens LOL
Un abrazo y les deseo mucha felicida, orale,
What a sweet story! We had a pouring rainstorm yesterday, wonder how many ended up sharing their umbrellas.