Never Been Kissed: Losing My Virginity

I was sitting at a burger joint in Manhattan eating a big fat greasy hamburger and fries combo with a friend when the subject of "my first time" came up. She told me her experience which grossed me out--images of filth and cleaning up afterwards came to mind, which knocked the romance factor out of my mind unlike when gays first lose their virginity--it's more holy and scared--you know, our eyes meet and then we rush in to a public bathroom and "do it" next to a stall that's out of order that smells of urine and feces. Now that's romance!

Nando: It really hurts for a girl hu? Since it's their first time.

Friend: Nah, for me it really didn't hurt as much as it was uncomfortable--like when you tie your shoes too tight.

Nando: *blank stare*

After getting over that valuable piece of information, we discussed friends who have never been kissed. I have one. I think we all do, right? I met her several years ago and; still, to this day, has never been on a date. I also think she's lying about her sexual orientation, but that story really falls under the heading of "Women and their Japanese action figure collection," but I digress. A few more rounds of 7-up and eating my way through a heaping of fries, my mind drifted away from the conversation and images of that hot summer day in my Brooklyn apartment came to mind when those romantic words that all gay men say when about to lose their virginity were finally spoken, "Make sure you use a lot lube...and GO SLOW!"

My first time was with someone I was completely in love with. The attraction was so strong it really frighten me and looking back, I was naive enough to think we'd be together forever but it was all in the name of romance. I was much older when I lost my virginity, in my mid-twenties, he, of course, in true Pakistani style was much younger yet experienced. (Allah, you would have been so proud!) But afterwards he was shocked at my silence. When I finally told him he was my first, he looked deep into my eyes and said, "You know what this means right? It means it's my responsibility to love you forever." And even though we're not together, he's kept his promise--I give him credit for that. Ah, thank you, Bollywood for instilling romance into the mind of many Hindi/Muslim men, even the mo's.

I know we never forget our first, but, I'll never forget the feeling of his heartbeat next to mine as he said whispered those words to me. So as we further discussed our friends who have never been kissed, I thought of shows like Jersey Shore and Keeping up with the Kardashians that portray a culture where our first times are as insignificant as ordering your first Dr. Pepper. I couldn't help but wonder, "In a world that's moving so fast, should we slow down when it comes to our first time?"If you could do it all over again, your first time, would you?