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I had a "Nando" episode down at Brooklyn's 70th Precinct Police Department last Friday (3/31/2005). I had to go down to the police department to get my complaint number for official records, since my apartment was broken into on Wednesday (3/29/05).
I went home from work on Wednesday to find both locks on my apartment door thrown across the lobby hallway. At first nothing registered, except, I guess my roommate had to go pee, and couldn't open the door properly and just shoved his way in. As I walked into my apartment, I noticed my Wal-Mart essentials bag (that I keep under the sink) laying on the side of the TV set. Once again, I thought....geesh! He also couldn't open the medicine cabinet and went in search of my SACRED Oil of Olay traveling kit that I keep in the bag???? I was getting really mad!!!
Then I walked into his room and I saw the drawers in his dresser flung across the room and his clothes were scattered all over the room, special notice to his NYPD thong hanging from my camera lamp. That was IT!!! I was kicking him out that day!! When it hit me........it wasn't Rameez (my roommate causing problems).................My apartment had been Broken into!!!
My eyes immediately scanned the room and looked for my prized possession.....and yes, it was still there.....THANK GOD!! My broken 8x10 photo of Wonder Woman was still hanging on my wall. (No the burglar's didn't break it, I actually broke it the same day I bought it, as I was too excited while hanging it up, that I ripped the plastic wrapping around the photo and broke the corner of the photo's glass).
Then my eyes scanned for my 2nd prized possession.....MY CAMERA. It was gone. I kept on scanning and everything was still in the apartment. Thank God the Burglars were not Golden Girl fans....because I have season 1-3, and Lord Jesus...help us all of they would have taken my Oprah 20 year DVD collection.
I called the police and the IMMEDIATELY rushed over, 2 hours later. They took my report with the enthusiasm of James Frey (author of Million little pieces) getting his root canal done!!! As they were writing my report, they were touching the door, the dresser drawers, and everything that was touched by the burglars. I keep thinking, you are cleaning off the FINGER PRINTS!!
Police explained in their super concerned tone that the fingerprint crew would be coming by and taking prints. They did.....2 hours after the police left, the fingerprint crew came, and I must admit...I was excited about seeing them work!!! So Officer McGee went to the room and I started to quiz her....."So......I guess you are about to take your little feather duster thing and sprinkle that powder on it and start dusting for prints? Will you be using the black powder or White? How will you retrieve the prints? Tape?"
She responded with a gusto of sarcasm, "Let me guess, BIG CSI fan?"I shut up and let her work, but not before asking...."will my casebe solved in one hour like on the show?" She didn't respond.....she only mumbled some words under her breath.
As she was dusting for prints, I noticed my roommate's NYPD THONG (did I mention that my roommate doesn’t work for the NYPD...he is a banker on wall street) underwear hanging and I couldn't help but think......this could go 2 ways. She would see the thong and feel solidarity towards the justice system causing her to put a little more "elbow grease" in the fingerprinting process" or she would think we are sick perverts participating in mocking the justice system in sexual deviant kind of way.
Eventually my house was covered in white dust and the end result was I was case number 2003 for that day and no prints were picked up. I wonder if the police rubbing their hands all over everything had anything to do with that???? So I eventually had to go to the Police Department to get my complaint number for tax purposes and to file my report at my apt building. I waited 3 hours but eventually, the professional officer behind the desk at the police station wrote my complaint number down on the corner of her "Ebony" magazine and ripped off the section with my number and gave it to me. What bothered me was not the form that it was written on but that she didn't even say, "I'm sorry about your situation. We will catch those nasty burglars and get your camera back!!" She smacked and popped a bubble with her gum and said, "NEXT!"
So friends.........I have new INDUSTRIAL strength locks on my door and my locksmith said my place was like a Ft. Knocks vault!!! My spirit has not been broken.....I'm now selling art work with my photographs to fund the replacement of my camera.
The moral of the story:
a. Watching CSI will only give you false hope in case you do need the police.
b. An NYPD thong will not get you "in good" with the POLICE
c. Buy a renters insurance policy so your valuables will be covered and you don't have to schmooze friends for art sales!
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