Nando & The HX Mixer

What comes to mind when you have a room full of hot gay men, alcohol, and free underwear? The interviewing process for Clay Aiken's new “manny?” No, a fabulous HX Mixer.

If I had a dollar for every faux hawk I saw that belonged to a pair of bulging biceps attached to an even tighter pair of jeans (giving me full access to their hairy monkeys), I could have actually bought a decent wardrobe and left that H&M shit I had on at home. Don't judge.

After scoping out the room for a potential love interest, a hook up or even a sweet blow in the bathroom, I noticed a little problem between the big wigs at the party. It appeared that the free alcohol, which is how I got my friends to go, was gone within 45 minutes of the “party getting started“--no offense Pink. But the fabulous crowd looked calm, fierce and relaxed, thank God for Botox!

Free prizes and goody bags always shakes up a crowd and what better way to shake up this group of pretty boys than to give out undies, cosmetics and a gym membership? Jesus Christ, what message are we sending out to the world? I mean, it's a shame to give out all that loot without a jumbo-sized tube of lube. They'll need it at the gym.

Once the dust settled, Janet, The Pussycat Dolls and Rihanna made a huddle of hunks hit the dance floor. And as I watched the eye candy "get into the groove," around the corner popped in season five Project Runway reality star, Suede. Since I don't have cable-- I relied on my friends for the dirt. But the only thing I could dig up was that he speaks in the third person. And Nando finds nothing wrong with that.

Suede was charming and friendly; he took some photos with me and my friends, so I have nothing negative to say about him or his killer smile; although he did smell like sausage and Diet Dr. Pepper. Which made this Texas boy wanna ask, “Can I get your number?”

As the event began to wind down, I went looking for media opportunities and eventually created one. I got the ultra suave Scott Nevins, the classy and handsome Chris Ryan and the skilled and sexy DJ David Serrano. into a photo with me. I saw the pained look in their eyes saying, “Why are we taking photos with the Mexican waiter?”

The HX mixer was a success; the music was pumping, the alcohol was pouring and the queens were happy. And as everyone started to spilt once they ran out of free underwear, I began to wonder, has the Wall Street fiasco of 2008 hit us that bad? So my part to help out the economy is: if you can get me Suede’s number, I'll throw in a pair of free undies (H&M of course).