Nando & HX Mixer Oct 30, 2008

As a non-celebrity blogger I'm constantly asked to attend the most celebrated events around the globe. (Then when I show I get asked to leave after they give me a good head-to-toe glance over) Last night I ended up at the HX monthly mixer where boys and girls from the surrounding boros slithered out to enjoy free vodka and eye candy.

A good time was had by all until the free booze ran out, then gay violence broke out--which is known as extreme bitching and broken-promises of never attending one of these events--and that was just me. (I love you HX!)

This is my new friend, "T", he was looking fierce last night. I, on the other hand looked out-of-place, bloated and scared, just like my first sexual experience.

Here is one of the winners of the night, Darcy, Dana or Dixie. Who cares? She's straight and won free admission to the Gay Expo. (Girl, you are rocking that hair!) We weren't convinced she had a real vaginal vault. I suggested a cavity check, but it didn't go over to well. What? She got free admission to the expo. Do you know how many sexual favors I've promised in order to get a hold of an $80 ticket? (Call me Darcy, I'm free that night--we'll be BFFs)

I had a good time though. I stood by the bathroom door keeping count how many guys where doing blow and getting blown. I lost count after being distracted by a few of the hotties circulating in the room. (Damn skinny jeans, tight asses and see-through sweaters!)

One of the random conversations I eavesdropped on.

Random Guy 1: I walked in and didn't even take a hit because when I fucked him I would know it was a conscious decision.
Random Guy 2: How was it?
Random Guy 1: I should have taken the hit.

Some unfamiliar, wild and crazy guy was going around badgering people and asking them if they were going to vote for Obama. Listen, I'm all for Barack-ing the vote, but pressure to answer questions at a gay bar should be limited to, "Are you cut or uncut?" Oh wait, he wasn’t unfamiliar, it was HX Mixer host, Scott Nevins. I'm sure the Obama team is still reviewing your campaign manager application. (Love you Scott, call me!)

I actually played tongue-hockey with one of these gentlemen last night. Oy! Can you guess who?

Where is Chris Ryan? He's in charge of the dress code--and these two were in violation, until the tie went off! (I won't tell you what article went off next!)

Another random conversation I eavesdropped on.

Random Guy 3: Watch it there, you're really taking advantage of the vodka.
Random Guy 4: Everybody's a bottom and the world is my oyster.
Random Guy 3: Yeah, but you lost your "pearl" back in the 80s.

(Guy with the lost pearl, call me! We'll do brunch!)