Nando & His Friendly Tips

I’ve been driving several of my friends crazy lately. With text messages ranging from, “I need good vibes from you today because I feel gloomy,” to e-mails that read, “I love my life and I have fiber and the Baby Jesus to thank for it,” I’m positive the ones closest to me think I have sprung a leak in my dingy.

But doesn’t everyone get in moods like that? One day you feel that the worldly pressures are just about to break your stride—just then, an unexpected positive surprise knocks on your door and you’re flying higher than a bigot after the passing of Proposition 8.

A few of my friends have confided in me and expressed feeling a bit lost recently. Some feel lonely, some feel like they’re not getting anywhere near the goals they’ve set for themselves, other just feel depressed by the state of the world today (Thanks George W. Bush!). Even though I go through my whirlwind moods, I’m amazed at how I can always keep a positive perspective and feel a rainbow is just around the corner—no gay pun intended.

When asked, I shared how I try stay “above water” when those black moments hit. A few friends called me back thanking me for the various suggestions because now they feel more in control and empowered, ready to conquer their next life challenge.

For me, just having the ability to burden my friends with my roller coaster emotions is a gift in itself. But here are few of the tips that I use and maybe they will help you to.

My Goal Board: I keep a small chalkboard in my apartment with my overall goals and also my daily goals. I break down my daily goals into small steps (Martha Beck, Author of Following Your own North Star calls them “turtle steps”) in order to get things done. I sometimes feel like I have so much to do and I finally decided to do NOTHING because I don’t know where to start. But if you break down your goals into tiny little steps (1. go to computer 2. turn on computer 3. sign on to e-mail account 4. click on inbox 5. read e-mails 6. respond to three people) you’ll feel more empowered and accomplished when you start marking off the items on your list. Trust me it works. (Doesn’t it Julie?)

A “thank you” letter to the Universe. The day I sent a text message to the world saying that I needed good vibes; I felt gloomy and depressed. I had a few writing deadlines to meet, the pressures of my 9-5 job were overwhelming, and to top things off, I was having a bad hair day! If you could have seen my kinky, frizzy hair! So I decided to shift my perspective and write a “thank you” letter to the Universe. I e-mailed it to myself, but inside I wrote how grateful I was to have amazing friends, a family with a great sense of humor, a great set of teeth, and when it does what it’s supposed to—a great head of glorious midnight-colored locks (Thanks to Mayra Segovia the Hair Goddess). Write whatever you want to the universe—make it positive and clear then click SEND. You’ll feel the immediate rush of satisfaction. Just don’t do like my friend Edwin who was too tired to finish his letter and fell asleep after writing “Dear Universe”. But I think it’s the thought that counts—sweet dreams buddy!

The "Great Day" exchange: And before I start sounding like a spin-off of Oprah.com, I’ll tell you one more tidbit that I thought of this morning and actually did. I added a little extra word-exchange with my Higher Power. I asked for a great day—but I also asked for a few of my friends to have an exciting day also. I had to put a cap on the names, otherwise, I never would have made it out of bed, but the feeling was great. And even though he’s not a “personal” friend, I did ask for Barack Obama to have a wonderful day as well. What? Don’t judge!

With only weeks away from Thanksgiving—I decided not to be cliché and ask everyone what they’ll be thankful for—but I do hope you spend your holidays in the presence of love. However that love is defined is up to you—with a pet, a significant other, or even that special crack pipe (always thinking of you Amy Winehouse) I hope you make the best of it.