Nando & His 1 Fan

I was with my good buddy, Nate, last night trying to build my website's new home when we kept getting into various arguments. I don't like it when I'm talked to like I'm 4-years-old, unless I'm sick and I need more lollipops. But I wasn't too nice to him earlier in the day when he was starving and every place we went to closed early for the long holiday weekend or nothing appeared appitizing. I always say: New York may be the city that never sleeps, but it's also the city that closes early.

Finally, the food dilema ended (as he found a Subway Shop and feasted on a foot-long with extra jalapeños) and as we discussed nandoism the blog things turned sour again.

Nate: (In a condescending British tone) Listen, darling, I've worked at website companies for 12 months and I know it all. Do you want my help or not? Cause it's obvious your site needs a lot of work.
Nando: Can you drop the attitude and the fake British accent?
Nate: Sweetheart, I'm a professional (Waving his right arm through the air) and this is my professional tone.
Nando: You're being a professional ass.
Nate: (Twisted his lips to the left side of his face and gave me a Joan Crawford Mommy Dearest look-of-shock)
Nando: I hope that fat black woman walking our way slaps you on your back and your lips permanently stay like that and every time you look in the mirror you remember nandoism the blog .
Nate: (Holding back a giggle)I'm trying to help and educate you at the same time, (Gets closer to my face) Maxine.
Nando: Don't breathe on me, Lourdes, you smell like a jar of day-old jalapeños.

He turned away from me (to laugh) and then in a 65-year-old female Jewish accent said.

Nate: You're impossible, Delilah!
Nando: And you're an idiot, Rhonda.
Nate: I don't know who Rhonda is, but Nate is sitting right in front of you and he's getting pretty tired of the steaming pile of bullshit spewing from your mouth!
Nando: (Rolling my eyes) Stop quoting lines from the last show you musically directed!

We fought on the train, we fought when working on the site, and we fought on our way back to my place in Brooklyn (he came over to get his yoga mat). And as he was leaving, he looked me in the eye.

Nate: This isn't working.
Nando: You're the only friend that I fight with everyday.
Nate: Same here.
Nando: Why is it?
Nate: Things you hate about me and things I hate about you.
Nando: But we also have a great connection that we can't deny. No one gets our sense of humor. (In a British accent) Do they now, Elizabeth?
Nate: (Laughs and in his British accent) You're quite right, Margie.
Nando: So now what?
Nate: We've been fighting for months. We need a break.
Nando: How long?
Nate: We're both at great spots in our lives, let's not ruin it by fighting. A couple of months?
Nando: That's a long time.
Nate: I'll be around. I'll answer if you call.
Nando: This just doesn't feel right to me.
Nate: Bye Nando.

And all I heard was the sound of my door closing as my best friend in New York walked out. I waited to see if maybe he'd send me a text message, but he didn't. And at 10:42 p.m., I saw the red light flash on my blackberry, it was an e-mail from FACEBOOK saying that someone was requesting to be my friend. The message read:

So I'm reading Nando's blogs...(pronounced Nahn-doe) and I'm rolling on the floor crying with those tears that completely spill out when the laughter has gone to another level of not-breathing-only-moving stage?.....Wait. Let me back up. Nando is Jules' friend. I've never met him nor talked to him in my life. Only have I read his blogs until the ugly-face-cry has hit at wee hours in the morning with Julie just wishing I had stories that good! Nevertheless, I thought ...hey! self? I can blog too, right? I feel like I should burst into Chicago's mega-hit of "You're the Inspiration".....But I press on. Thanks, Nahn-Doe.

I perked up. Some stranger actually started her own blog and was thanking me for it. Thank you Heather Harshbarger Warfel you made my night. And just like that, I realized that maybe Nate was right, we are at good spots in our lives.


Related Posts:

Nando & His Trip
Nando & His Question To You
Nando & Glamo