Moving and Dating: The Baggage We Take Along

I honestly thought I'd make my move in a few hours, I mean--I'm Mexican. We usually do things efficiently and quickly. Why do you think there are so many Mexicans in the service field...oh, wait. Well, my move not only took two days, it took me through memory lane as well. As I packed from one apartment and unpacked in another--I came across things I thought I'd lost, like my bejweled elephant statue, the red wig from two Halloween's ago, and the classy "Screw the Cook" apron. What, don't judge.

But I also I found things I wasn't sure if I should get rid of or hold onto tightly. Things that have made defining moments in my life because of dating. I found the black sweater, yes, that one. I was living with Joe for two years when I lost my job as a recruiter. I'd been looking for work going on three months and NYC just didn't have anything. It was Christmas time and I had scheduled an interview for a job I saw online. I made my way into the city, trying to maintain some type of joy I took a stroll through Macy's. I didn't have any money so it was more of a "walk of torture," when I came across the black sweater. It was just beautifully made, it fit perfectly and beyond my financial reach. I was determined to find a job and buy the sweater. But I also wanted the job to buy Joe Christmas gifts. He always went all out for me. Well, the interview went horrible and when Joe got home, he found me in tears. I was a disappointment to myself, to him and to Macy's. He looked at me like I was crazy and with a few nice words dried my tears. The next day when he returned home, I was on the phone; the interview I thought I had bombed, went well after all and I was offered the job. As I hung up the phone and told Joe the good news, he handed me a box. It was the sweater I had wanted. How he knew, I'll never know, he just did. He said, "Congratulations," and gave me a peck on the cheek.

As I went through an old box I found two sheets of paper that made my heart ache. I met Izzy three years ago and it was love at first site for me. He was 19 and I was 31. Crazy, I know, but what he did for me, I will never find the words or actions to fully thank him. He took every belief I had, every rule I followed, and all the values I trusted and shook them upside down. He made question every aspect of my life and when he was done, I was a totally new Nando. In fact, it was because of him that Nandoism was created. I never wrote before I met him, never thought I was good enough, never thought I was funny enough, never knew I had a voice. Izzy fought with me daily until I wrote, wrote and wrote some more. The encouragement he gave me was the solid foundation on which Nandoism was built. One night, two weeks after meeting, I went over to his place and he said he wanted to play a game. "Let's get to know one another," he said in his highly energetic and sexy 19 year-old voice. It was 2:oo a.m. and he took out two pieces of blank paper and drew some grids on them--when he was done, they resembled a three-columned spreadsheet. The second column said Izzy, the third, Nando, and in the first he listed questions like, "What's your favorite body part" or "What Disney character do you most relate to?" We each had to write down our own answers and then guess what the other person's answers were, then switch to see how well we knew one another. We made a little wager; for every answer we matched, we'd have to kiss but for every wrong answer we had to reveal a secret about ourselves. I think that night was one of the most magical nights I've ever spent with another living soul. We were raw, we were real and we were in love. Izzy and I parted ways last year and it was a heart break like I've never felt before. It still haunts me at times, so when I found the two sheets--faded, a little stained by life--and forever precious, my heart ached a little, but my soul still thanked him for everything.

So as I continue dating in New York City and meet new people, the memories from my past live on. I can get rid of the physical things, but my heart will always treasure the actual real moments--which mean so much more than a black sweater or two crumpled sheets of paper. And as I thought about throwing them away; I wondered what strangers riffling through the garbage would think if they found these items. They'd probably take a quick glance, scratch their head and toss them aside, but to me, they will always mean the world.Did I get rid of them? I think I'll keep that to myself. A guy should always remain a little mysterious, don't you think? And what about you? Have you kept things from your dating past? If so, what items were they? And would others just see it as junk?