I like Kim, but 5 Reasons I Love Khloe Kardashian!

One of my guilty pleasures is watching mindless TV. It doesn't bother me to sit in front of a television set and just get lost in the moment. In fact, when I was younger, I had no friends, only TV shows. Wonder Woman reigned in my life as did Jeannie and Samantha Stevens. I discovered, at a very early age, that my mean streak wasn't going to win me the neighborhood congeniality award, not with statements like, "No Bobby, you can't use the bathroom, you're dirty and you smell." Or, "Laurie, whoever said you could wear polka-dots with those hips was lying." And "Joshua, really? Chili-bowl haircuts are not in season right now." And today, whether it's a cooking show throw down, a 650-lbs virgin looking for love, or a pack of she-wolves trying to take over the world--yes, I'm talking about the Kardashians, you can see how my passion for TV has matured. I don't keep up with the Kardashians as much as I'd like to, I mean I have my own life...which consists of making fun of Giada De Laurentiis, hating on Alex Guarnaschelli (professional chef), and worshiping Paula Deen.

I was at the gym this morning and caught an old episode of Keep up with the Kardashians. Rob, the young brother was wounded, heartbroken, even. He and his girlfriend Adrienne had just broken up. His heart was on the floor pumping for its last breath and decided to leave his sweetheart's apartment and move in with his sister, Kim Kardashian. (Is this kid brave or nuts?)

As he brings his belonging over to her place; Kim looks him deep in his soul and with tenderness, compassion and deep love (for herself) turns to Rob and says, "You're my baby brother and I will always be here for you. You've just been through a terrible break-up and your hurt. Yes, you can stay here, but let me show you which candles you're not allowed to touch."

I love Kim and I want her life, hair and plastic surgery booty, but there's one Kardashian that rocks my Gay, Adopted, Mexican self. She has my undevoted love as she can crush Kim's selfish ego like a long-haired black widow with one backhanded swoop; yes folks, I'm talking about Khloe Kardashian.

Here are the top 5 reasons Khloe Kardashian is my idol.

1. She spends her days researching psychopaths and their behaviors to deal with Scott (her other sister's baby-daddy) in order to bring the family unit closer together. She slaps Scott, insults him and finds ways to get her sister to leave him. She's like Mother Teresa, minus the ba-donka-donk.

2. When Rob and Adrienne were dating--the Kardashian's took the entire clan camping and invited Adrienne's parent's along. Khloe kept the conversation flashy and interesting asking Adrienne, in front of her parents, "Would you rather suck Rob's c*ck for 5 mins or eat his a**hole for 1 minute?” What? I thought it was totally appropriate.

3. Khloe totally stands up for what she believes in; like hating Scott, working hard, marrying outside her race and did I mention, hating Scott? Despite anger classes or her family's objections--Khloe treats Scott like Arizona treats Mexicans--and I love it!

4. Khloe sent out for DNA results because she discovered that her body frame isn't the same as her petite sister's. In her mind, having a normal body made her an outcast? She plucked a hair from her mother's head and off it went for testing. Weeks later, she was saddened to discover she was in fact, a Kardashian. But now, thanks to QuickTrim, she's almost as thin as her sisters, the lollipop girls!

5. She can take Lamar's manhood and still walk over to her radio show on time. Just for the record, it would take me at least a month to recover from that bad boy!