Can You Lick Me Where?

And so I enter the realm of the naughty and the taboo by bringing up a topic so dear to my heart, you'll have to pardon my deep enthusiasm; analingus; yes, rimming, the act where your tongue meets someone else's anus and you like it; deeply. (Pun intended!) Although, I was shocked and amazed to discover that only 15 % of straight people have participated in some form of anal sex "fun" there are no real numbers to support how many have actually tossed the salad. In a post found on Psychology Today, I learned how a few straight couples pioneered their way that far south of the border. According to the article's author, Michael Castleman, "Heterosexuals typically stumble on analingus during cunnilingus. The man's tongue slips further south than he intended, and both lovers realize they've crossed a line." 

This brought tears to my eyes because I could just imagine, Lindsey the librarian getting it on with Tom the janitor when all of a sudden....whoops, there went his tongue. Bad Tom, bad, bad, bad Tom! (In a good way) I remember the first time I heard of the acting of placing a tongue in someone's rear end. It sounded gross, but I was only 12. See, I was a full participant in a call that turned into phone sex when a man with a husky voice called our house by mistake asking if we needed a new motor in our fridge. Honey, did he dial the right "wrong" number! One thing lead to another and before I knew it--we were having phone sex. Being 12, my voice hadn't changed (I'm still waiting) and well, I got away with him thinking my name was Cindy. It was romantic, it was fun, it was sick, (don't judge--okay, maybe just a little) but he didn't know I was a young gay lad sprouting into my sexual curiosity. It was in these intense sexual phone calls that I learned all about sex. What? You had your sex ed teacher and I had mine, Gustavo, a Sears Repairman who needed a little attention while going through his divorce. Ah, Gustavo, I will always remember you...will you remember me, Cindy? But it wasn't until I was 18 that I actually had it performed on me. I was asked to roll over and throw my legs behind my head. I was like, "Excuse me, You wanna lick me where?" And before I could say another word, I was lost in the throws of Rick's passionate tongue as Selena on the radio. I had a lesbian friend at the time who loved rimming her girlfriends; her nick name was Beaver and she always carried around Chapstick. I figured I'd throw that in since this entire post is about analingus--why should I be the only one exposed? So in a world consumed with healthy eating and high sex drives, I can't help but wonder, "Is tossing the salad the best of both worlds?" Have you ever tried it, you know, tossing the salad? 

Would you consider it? Leave a comment