Can A Gay Man Be Straight?

Guest Blogger

October 5, 2009

Lisa Morris Frame

This is a guest post by the fabulous and always awesome Lisa Morris Frame, author of her own blog, A Daily Pinch. ‍

Can a gay man turn straight?

Read along as Lisa dishes about her own love affairs with her gay men in this witty, sharp and poignant post.

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I grew up in Western North Carolina. Small town gal, small town people, small town living. Little did I know there was a whole world that existed in that small town. All it took was me working at a little convenience store for a short time to jump into that world, the world of gay men.

My love affair with gay men started when I was a young lass of 19. I met a few boys who weren’t interested in me, except for friendship, and I was hooked. They were hooked as well. But, I never fell in love with them. Oh, I loved them, but not that in that “I want to convert you so that we can live happily ever after in our immaculate suburban home decorated just so, with our 2.3 kids and dog named Spot” sort of way.

Terry was my first. He was gorgeous with curly, chestnut colored hair and a smile meant to dazzle. I loved Terry to pieces and was honored when he asked me to marry him. He wanted me to have his babies, offering to build a house so that I would have one side, he would have the other and our “family” area would be in the middle. We would live our lives as singletons, but on the up and up for our children. I declined. How could I marry Terry when I knew that somewhere out there was a man after my heart? Well, the promise of regular sex was a boon as well.

Phillip was next. He couldn’t understand why I wasn’t married and told me “if I were straight, you would be off the market”. I don’t know what the push was for me to marry—but obviously they both felt I was the marrying kind. Maybe one day they will be able to legally marry in any of our great 50 states.

Keith was next. How I loved Keith, my drag queen, psycho, tantrum-throwing bitch extraordinaire. I had no idea he performed in drag until he walked into the store where we worked the night before, in full regalia. I remember thinking “that is the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. I would kill to have those cheekbones!” When he walked up to me, the scent of Sun, Moon and Stars overwhelmed my senses and instantly I knew who it was. He was divine. My male companion when I needed one, my brother in our failed romances, my sister when we just needed to be camp.

Today, even as a stodgy old married bird, I still have plenty of gays. Chris, Wayne, Joseph, Nando,...the list goes on and on. I don’t want to convert them. I want them just as they are. Gay. Out and proud. Flaming. I will take them all. Give me a bitchy queen over a pms’ing woman any day of the week.

Girls, if you find yourself in love with a gay man. Get over it. He’s not going to change, no matter how you beg, plead and pray. He’s going to be exactly who he was the day you met him: a boy looking for the man of his dreams.

Follow Lisa Morris Frame on twitter @Daily_Pinch