By the Way Wednesday: The Dos and Don'ts of Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

What defines a relationship?

‍

‍

‍

What defines a healthy relationship? I'm sure the definitions will vary as do the rules/guides that accompany the partnership. I can only speak from my first person experience. And in my last relationship, I was very dependent on the other person to "make me happy" and that meant I expected them to do some: mind reading, carry the financial weight of the relationship, and  love me unconditionally without getting it in return. That relationship failed.Now, being in a relationship for 3.9 years I feel like I've not only grown as a partner but I can honestly say I feel like I'm an awesome fiancé. And here are some of my learnings.

Do:

• Take care of your teeth
• Have sexy time!
• Exercise both your mind & your body
• Spend time alone
• Pay for things on a equal basis, not equally (when the money-making ratio is even, then you can do a 50/50 split -- if it's not, make adjustments)
• Figure out what chores you're best at and are willing to do & do them -- have them do the same (this is not a 50/50 split either)
• Take care of another when you're sick
• Remind each other of important dates, appointments, gatherings (don't sit there waiting for them to mess it up--remind them)
• Spend time together (it should still be fun to meet up and just "be together")
• Make them laugh
• Hand them a tissue if you do make them cry -- then work it out
• Encourage them
• Learn to compromise
• Brag about them in front of others -- and mean it!
• Give them space
• Remind yourself of the relationship rules you two have established -- and keep to them
• Make them laugh some more

Don't:

• Remind them of their bad qualities over and over again -- I'm sure they're already kicking themselves over it on a daily basis
• Make them feel guilty over mistakes they've made -- let it go
• Say "I told you so." That's a phrase that doesn't take love to the next level
• Wait until things are bad to "have a talk" -- you should always be talking
• Put them last on your priority list
• Forget being in a relationship is only a percentage of wat makes you YOU -- it's not your entire IDENTITY!
• Brag about your relationship on social media
• Forget to have sexy time!
• Talk behind their back
• Let them guilt you into anything
• Forget your friends -- but if they are anti-relationship, be wary!
• Lose yourself in the process

I'm sure these are ever-changing, but these are a good start. And I'm positive I have left several things off -- feel free to include them in the comments below.