Breaking the Gay-Love Routine

Gay men rule. We bring a spark to the wold, a glittery shine that otherwise would be missing in this dark, gloomy place we call Earth. Give us a potato and an onion and we'll put Martha Stewart to shame by creating a flamboyant celebratory meal that's delicious, sexy and finger-licking-good! Hand us a difficult project at work and not only will we meet the deadline, but we'll place neon-pink post-its to mark a few errors we identified along the way, just as a reminder that we Gays work hard for our money! But give us a boyfriend and we freak out four months later, after we stopped producing PEA and have no clue how to bring the "mo" back into a ho-mo-sexual romance. At least that's what happened to me a few weeks ago.

As Santiago and I eased into our fourth month, things got a little routine. The dirty winks weren't as dirty and the passionate kisses we lacking, well, the kissing part. It was work, then home, then sleep; lather, rinse and repeat. Sure, we went out to eat a few times, went to a movie or two and even paid a visit to other Gay coupes (to see how they keep the spark alive) but we discovered they all went through the same thing; Gay-love routine. Is this how my life is going to be? Me, a sexy, brilliant, Mexican cougar, with my hot 25-year-old boyfriend, sitting at home watching the Cake Boss on TLC? (while flipping channels during the commercial breaks to watch, Say Yes To The Dress?) That's when it hit me. Actually, I hit Santiago.

Nando: Our life is boring. (I smacked him in his left arm)

Santiago: (Watching the Cake Boss frost a fish) What?

Nando: We do the same thing over and over again. I'm always stressed because of my book deadline that I can't have fun because then I feel guilty that I'm not working on my book. And when I am working on my book, I feel uninspired. The only thing I have is the gym.

Santiago: How 'bout I beat the hell out of you, like you just did my arm? Will that inspire you?

Nando: I'm serious.

After feeling sorry for myself and a regularly scheduled commercial break, Santiago suggested we start working out together. But did I really want my boyfriend at the gym with me? I mean, that's my alone time. That's my inner-me time. That's my "looking-at-hot-men-in-the-nude" time. But I figured, why not? So we decide to do the gayest thing the gym offers: spin class! And it actually put a spark back into the relationship. As we're both sweating our Mexican asses off, we smile, breathe hard, and grunt at one another with a renewed passion. Gay-love can be so spiritual. The spark is back. And let me tell you--there's nothing hotter than seeing your sweaty man naked in the showers! We tried getting naughty in the there, but he's too shy and with the risk of getting caught and not to mention foot fungi--we decided to leave the spicy stuff for home.

Spin class has shed a light on our relationship. It's a sexy and healthy thing we do together, and every once in awhile, when he's out of breath, about to pass out and not looking--I glance over to him on his bicycle and think, "Good, Lord, look at how wet his ass is!" but I also think, "I"m so lucky." Santiago is my first boyfriend who's taken the time to discover what I like and figured out how to include himself in the activity without being clingy. And even though we're missing the Cake Boss and other awesome shows because of conflicting schedules, there's nothing better than biking your way to love--frost that, Cake Boss!

What do you do to keep a spark going? Leave a comment.

And don't forget to check out my new eBook, Dating Stuff: The Things About Dating You Ought To Know available for download, now!