Barack Obama's Inauguration (p2)

For Barack Obama's Inauguration (p1) click here.

...Continued

Once Nate and I grabbed seats inside the bus of horror and were on our way to Obama's inauguration--silly me thought the craziness was over--little did I know it was just the beginning.

Five minutes into our D.C. trip, the bus driver flips on the heat on high and I begin to fry. As I start taking the layers of clothing off, Nate pulled out his one litter bottle of water to refresh himself from the smoldering heat.

Nate: Did you bring water like I told you to?
Nando: Yes.
Nate: Well, I'm going to show you how to take "conservational sips" in order to make it last, okay?
Nando: What kind of sips?
Nate: Conservational. So you can "conserve" the water in case there isn't any in D.C.

A little background on Nate--he's an extremist. Once he discovers a new world, he lives it for about three months--night and day--then he gets bored and drops the topic like the state of Illinois dropped Rod Blagojevich as governor. A few months back, Nate had discovered the book, "SAS Survival Handbook: How to Survive in the Wild, in Any Climate, on Land or at Sea" and was obsessed with encountering a life- threatening situation where he could put chapters 4-13 to good use.

Nate: Did you bring a thermal sock like I ask?
Nando: What?
Nate: I e-mailed you a list of things to bring to make sure we didn't die in the wilderness. You place a thermal sock over your water then turn the water bottle upside down so it doesn't freeze.
Nando: We're going to Washington D.C. you idiot, not the KILLER MOUNTAIN of Pakistan.
Nate: But what if they run out of water? Then what? You'll be thanking me. (Taking his 16th "conservational sip" of water)

Twenty minutes later, Nate ran out of water despite his "conservational sips" and begged me for some of my water. Being the friend that I am--I refused, only to teach him a lesson. (Don't judge)

Arriving in D.C. at 3:00 a.m., we found the town pulsating with Obama fanatics. It was extremely cold so we decided to sneak into the nearby Hampton Inn to use the bathroom and warm up. Once inside, we found their lobby filled with people lined up getting coffee--it was obvious these “early risers” were guest staying there and were about to head out for the inauguration. Blending in, we also got in the coffee line and acted as if we were paying guests, complaining about our rooms and how the beds were not soft enough to get a good night’s sleep. (By the way, the Hampton Inn has excellent coffee--if you ever find yourself in need of a hot beverage in a new town)

After six cups of coffee and two apples, we were back outside weathering the cold temperature and walking towards the excitement. We found large crowds of people already there. Due to security reasons, they would allow you to walk a certain distance then have you stop; in attempts to control the large moving mass. It was 4:00 a.m. and we were told this was as far as we could go until 7:00 a.m. and luckily for us, we were gathered underneath an underpass, where the icy wind wasn’t getting through. So for the next three hours we were stuck with nothing to do except wait. By the first hour, people were getting to know everyone else. Nate made friends with a family from Boston and he described the various stages of hypothermia and explained the wonders of a thermal sock; while I was listening in on various conversations around me. By 6:00 a.m. the crowd started to turn on one another.

People were trying to get closer to the front of the line, and began to move their way forward by pushing themselves through. This didn’t last too long.

Small man holding four coffees: Excuse me, I need to get through, my friends are up there and I have their coffee.
Large Black Lady in front of me: You ain’t getting through, you should have thought of that before getting out of line, Buster.
Small man holding four coffees: But they’re right there (he pointed to a group positioned in front of her).
Large Black Lady in front of me: Honey, I’m telling you that you are not getting through; I don’t know what else to tell you now step back and ease up away from me.

Those of us around who witnessed this encounter felt a small victory and united by yelling out various affirmations like, “Yeah!, You tell ‘em sister, and Get back to the end of the liner you line-cutter!” I was feeling the power of the crowd re-energize me and I was ready for anything. Just then, I felt a small tap on my shoulder. I turned around and found a tiny yet obese Mexican woman wearing two long braids and a heavy winter coat who hadn’t mastered the use of the contraction.

Obese Mexican Woman: I’n working?
Nando: What?
Obese Mexican Woman: I’n working?

It was clear that she wanted to get by and get closer to the front of the line.

Nando: You’re what?
Obese Mexican Woman: I’n working?
Nando: You’re working? Well girlfriend, you better call your supervisor cause you’re gonna be late today!

The crowd went wild! They cheered and yelled positive affirmations towards me and the meek and mild Mexican woman vanished into the crowd. I felt a rush, I felt American, I felt like a Caucasian Border Patrol at the Mexico/Texas border.

It was 7:00 a.m. and in order to pass away the time, the crowd had sing-a-longs. It started with the “Star Spangled Banner” then it transitioned to “Lean on Me” with the final song being “Single Ladies” by Beyoncé. Then it happened. We were moving towards the security check point. Some one tapped Nate on the shoulder.

Stranger: Hey man, I don’t think security is going to let you guys in with your backpacks.
Nate: Well, I researched it and it didn’t say anything about it on the offical inauguration website.
Stranger: I’m just saying.

As we looked around, we were the only two in the crowd with backpacks. Nate panicked and immediately went on line on his iPhone and did more research. He found his answer.

Nate: We have to ditch our backpacks!
Nando: What?
Nate: Just place everything in the plastic bags I brought. Hurry!
Nate: Do you think they will let me bring in my knife?
Nando: You brought a knife to Barack Obama’s inauguration? Are you stupid or just crazy?
Nate: Well, we needed a knife to slice into the salami I brought.
Nando: We’re dead.

We switched all our belongings into plastic bags then place one backpack inside the other, along with the salami knife and ditched it by the side of the underpass. As we inched our way up the line and towards security—I heard the following from the crowd as they passed the abandoned, stuffed backpack.

Crowd: Look, someone left a backpack. That’s very mysterious, let’s call 911.

To be continued...

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Obama's Inauguration (p1) click here.

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Jab & The Inauguration click here.

Photos from the Inauguration click here.