Are You Too Picky for Love?

Dating in New York City is like walking into an ice cream shop offering over 31 flavors. At any moment your choices can range from chocolate raspberry truffle to peppermint rainbow delight and with so many tasty offerings, why is it that so many of us still point to the bucket of vanilla? As in love, some will say that we know what we like and will stick to it--but is that the real reason? Are we choosing what our love-palates already desire or are we just stuck in our ways, too rigid--too picky for love?

Nick is one of my dearest friends and to describe him would require the use several adjectives like: sexy, yummy, intelligent, successful, and just one of the hottest black men I've ever met. He's got a slick shaved head, a smile that'll melt your heart and eyes that hint towards a little mystery behind the man, not too mention he's over six feet tall and has six-pack abs. But I digress. Nick is one sexy mofo and he loves his white boys. Last year, Nick hit a dating slump--yeah, we're all still trying to figure that one out--but most recently the slump ended and Nick's riding high on his dating horse and battling them off with his--what I can only imagine--huge sword.

Nick isn't a multi-dater, meaning he only dates one person at a time and enjoys the process of getting to know a person slowly. Of course, that doesn't mean he won't sleep with a guy on the first date--this is 2010 and New York! Last Saturday, he surprised us all when he announced that he'd invited his current beau to brunch as we were all curious to meet the man who had captured our Nick's heart. Cue in Adam.

Adam came in and immediately warmed up to the group. He was cute, smart, and very witty. I hated him. No, I kid--I liked him. After brunch, Adam left with he and Nick making plans to meet later in the day. As the rest of us stayed behind and walked to the nearest Starbucks for an afternoon pick-me-up, Nick turns to us and says, "I have to dump Adam--he doesn't trim his pubes."

Nick had forgotten all those lonely nights, days, weeks where all he did was complain because of not having a boyfriend and feeling as if he'd never meet anyone again that sparked his interest. I reminded Nick that it was over two years that he'd really fallen for someone like he'd fallen for Adam. How soon we forget, hu? Nick was head over heels for Adam and yet he was willing to throw it away over a fluffier forest? Really? Listen, I understand we all have deal-breakers, some won't date a smoker, others will spit in the face of a cat lover (me) while others will say adios to a guy with a roommate.

In a time when love is all around yet so hard to touch, and with so many of us are struggling to meet a man that we actually have fun with and feel an emotional spark with, I can't help but wonder, "Are we being too picky for love? Can we not see it because of a bushy crotch?"

What do you think? Leave a comment.