5 Things Every Couple Must Have!

As I slowly went from dating to 'being in a relationship" the rules of the game changed...in a good way. But in order to make things work, I have to keep a constant awareness on the relationship that fosters and creates support and that it can withstand the heavy stuff--sort of like the plates they use at IHOP. (Hey, all I know is that when I ordered my hotcake stackers--nothing shook that pile of pancakes!)

So here are the top 5 things every couple must have in their relationship to make it through another day. And before you say, "Oh great--more relationship advice from a gay Mexican," I actually use one or all of these on a daily basis--and so far so good!

1. Make sure you have things in common: Sounds like a "duh" statement, but in my dating travels and in meeting couples I've seen the lack of common denominators which then leaves the dynamic duo in a crappy bind. Even if it's on a small scale, like cutting each other, you must have one thing in common to bridge that gap when life throws you curve balls. If you and the sig other enjoy karate movies, kinky animal porn, or even complaining about life--at least you have an activity that will gel your bond and get you through the day. Don't underestimate this point. (And for you animal porn lovers--eeew!)

2. Have your individual interests: And yes, as much as you want to hold 'em, and love 'em, and kiss 'em--you must also want to leave them to their own devices. Give them and yourself a little breather and enjoy an activity on your own--go to the gym, take your camera around town, go find that new PIE place and try their PIE sampler (no witnesses--no calories!) It's so healthy for people in a relationship to give one another "alone" time and allow one another to reconnect with their individual passions--even if it is eating PIE! Trust me--when your sig other returns feeling empowered and revitalized, you'll reap the benefits--maybe you'll get some dirty, sweaty sex or even better; they'll even bring you back some PIE, but don't count on it.

3. Respect for one another: Respect must be present to bring value into the relationship. We saw it on Jon & Kate plus 8. The woman (I'm talking about Jon here) was totally devalued and disrespected in every episode. Kate was either yelling, screaming, or just about to ring his neck. Despite what lead Jon to have an affair--the man lacked respect. And I've seen it in couples after the 2 year mark; a tumor-like growth invades the relationship and the couple slowly begins to grow apart and the relationship value drops. And before you know it, it's displayed in public and done as if it were second nature. This spells nothing but DOOM for a couple. Even if you only respect your partner because of his awesome skills at changing the toilet paper roll when it's needed--show some RESPECT; and Aretha Franklin said it best, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me!"

4. Similar relationship goals: You can be on different pages, but at least be in the same book when it comes to your relationship. And this is dome through communication. If one person wants to be out with their friends leaving the other person at home all week, this is a recipe for disaster. Yes, you want some freedom, but what's the point if you see your friends more than your sig other? If one party likes porn while the other is disgusted with it--well, honey, you got a problem with a capital T that rhymes with "Child, you are out of luck!" But either way, you must communicate; talk it out and come to midpoint that works for the two of you. A relationship can't work if neither person is willing to compromise, communicate, and share their relationship expectations.

5. A Sense of humor: As nasty as the world is--yes, this is a pessimistic viewpoint, I can't tell you how having a sense of humor helps a relationship out. Now, joking about serious topics isn't going to work either, like laughing when the rent is due and chuckling when the sig other comes home with a bad perm, but helping induce laughter can shave off loads of "yuckiness" when confronted with tense situation. Recently when traveling with the boyfriend, the JFK airport security was so evil to me--they confiscated my Davide Torchio hairspray along with my toothpaste claiming it was a threat to America's security. After I saw them take my items away, and wondered how my hair was supposed to stand up to the Iowa mugginess, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I snuck some RAVE in your carry-on bag that the scanners never caught!" We both chuckled as we boarded the plane knowing that our Mexican hair would stand up to the Iowa humidity after all--not with as much GLAM as with the Davide Torchio hairspray, but something was better than nothing.

‍click here to see how my hair held up in Iowa

(p.s. I tweeted about the incident minutes after it happened and Davide Torchio himself tweeted me back and said, "Don't worry, I have a new bottle waiting for you when you return!) So kiss my hair, JFK security!

What are some of your MUST HAVES in your relationship? Leave a comment and let's discuss.