10 Signs You Really Like Him/Her

Ah, the signs of love. There are many out there, but who has time to figure them out? You're on a love-high; enjoy it, feel its inspiration and all the emotions it evokes. Celebrate love. But don't be fooled, there is a love/dating chemical your body produces during the first three months of dating someone you're physically attracted to; the lovechemical you produce is called phenylethylamine (PEA). It's the butterflies you feel when you get a text from them or a phone call. (If you're Mexican, we can't afford butterflies, we get moths--but you get the idea).But after three months, the body fizzes away the production of PEA, so how do you know if your feelings were real or if you just needed a cold shower in the sink to snap out of it? That's what I'm for, to tell you if it was a Romeo and Juliet kind of romance or if you were just the victim of Mother Nature's cruel hormone-making joke. And how do I know, you're asking? I'm your Mexican dating guru; if you can't trust a Mexican, who can you trust?

‍The 10 Signs You Really Like someone.

‍10. You do things you normally wouldn't...like saving your most potent roofies-mixer, just for them.

9. Porn just doesn't seem right (you still watch...but it just doesn't seem right).

8. You practice what you're going to say...like Jessica Simpson does. (So you don't sound stupid)--Can someone send this to Ms. Simpson?

7. When they call--you run to the mirror to make sure you look good before answering.

6. Your heart beats faster; like when you take Mexican amphetamines.

5. Your erection is hard to contain.

4. Your (insert what women do when they get aroused) when you're around them. (I'm gay, I don't know these things)

3. You conduct your best stalking...just for them!

2. Your senses have heightened! (Not only can you hear birds chirping, you can hear them pass gas, too!)

1. They're all you talk about...in therapy.