Love in the Dumps Moment

I get it–every now and then, the love game sucks…big time.

This goes for those of you dating or those of you in relationships. Things don’t always go as planned. You get dumped, someone you truly cared for leaves you with no explanation, or someone you thought loved you–cheats…with your best friend…in your own bed…using the candles you picked out at Pier One…together. Bastard!

It’s all part of the circle of life–what, you didn’t think Lion King was just for children, did you? Bottom line, everyone experiences a “love-in-the-dumps” moment–everyone. (Some of us more than others, like Jennifer Lopez and George Lopez–maybe it’s just people named Lopez?) The test comes in what you do after that really counts.

That’s the you that showcases your true essence, your core character, your vulnerable side with runny mascara all over your face. Do you give up, take a break, or move forward? Sometimes it’s okay to do all three. I remember one of my love-in-the-dumps moment; I walked in on my boyfriend of two years having sex with someone I considered a friend. Walking into our apartment, something didn’t feel right, there was a strange yet familiar backpack perched near the coffee table yet no one was in the living room and when I looked across the apartment–the bedroom door was closed–which was unusual. My boyfriend peeked out of the door, then quickly shut it, yelling, “I want you out of the apartment!”

What happened next was classic story-book: I freaked out, had a panic attack and passed out.  I “came to” with the guy  who was sleeping with my boyfriend giving me CPR while 9-11 was being contacted. I discovered two things at that moment: 1. The guy wasn’t a bad kisser and had incredibly good breath and 2. I was stronger than I ever gave myself credit for; not only because I was able to break the door down after they had locked themselves in–but because I decided at that moment, that I was better than this and deserved a clean and honest relationship–the opposite of what I was currently experiencing. I remained single for the next five years–giving myself time to identify my part in my failed relationship–and although that wasn’t pretty, it had to happen in order to grow, learn, and forgive; things we need in order to heal when a break in our love-chain occurs.

At your next  “love-in-the-dumps” moment, and it will happen, try to remember two things: 1. Fresh breath isn’t always the mark of a good man and 2. It’s not the ending…things have just begun.

Have you had a “love-in-the-dumps” moment? Are you going through one right now? How are you/did you get through it? And what did you learn? leave a comment and let’s start the discussion!

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