It’s not about Becky with the Good Hair

beyonce beyhiveBecky with the good hair came on everyone’s radar this past Saturday with speculations and fingers quickly pointed at Rachel Roy and by Monday a few more fingers were directed towards Rita Ora and I’m confident that in a few more days, other women will be identified as good-haired Becky. But one person that requires no speculation on in this entire affair is Jay-Z. If we are to believe that an entire album was created because of his infidelity, then why didn’t the BeyHive go after him, was it because if it were not for him, we wouldn’t have Lemonade quenching our thirst?  The angle of focus is all wrong, we have zeroed in on the wrong person, the wrong act, and the wrong message. It’s not about infidelity, but what you decide do with the relationship after it occurs.

Everyone must do what’s right for their own sake and their own relationship, I stand strongly on that platform and would not judge someone on what they decide to do with their bond should one of the parties knowingly break it. I had been in a relationship for two years when I walked in on him having sex with another person in our apartment. I couldn’t understand, I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t process what was going on as I saw my then boyfriend nude trying to cover up and the other guy jumping up out of bed grabbing and reaching around for his pants that were lying on the same carpet that I had vacuumed one day before. I was out of breathe and I heard one of them say, call 9-11. It got that bad. But I snapped out of it when I saw the guy flash before me running out of the apartment while turning to me to say, “Please don’t tell my boyfriend,” as he slammed the door shut. Did I forget to mention, the guy in my boyfriend’s bed was part of a couple we knew and went on vacations with a few weeks before?

For me there was no column A or column B decision to be made, I packed as many of my things as I possibly could and walked out. I left the apartment, I left the relationship and I left the lie I was living at the time. Since then, several years have passed and I’m married now, to a man that personifies generosity, kindness and hope. The fact that he has these qualities breathes new meaning and value into my life. We’ve been together for six years and I can’t see my life without him. I see us continuing to experience new things together, quarreling over who’s doing the dishes this weekend and looking forward to growing old together. This relationship has been hard. It’s been tested. It’s been both beautiful and rough—and we have some tough times ahead of us, but I’ve had to take the meaning of what a relationship once meant to me “people cheat,” “people can’t be trusted,” “you will get your heart broken,” and grow out of those ideas because I chose love. 

Beyoncé chose love. She just chose love with the same man who crushed her heart into tiny little pieces, the same someone the BeyHive has decided to leave alone and maybe they should since his own wife chose the path of forgiveness. It’s a move that says, “Okay, let’s get back on track.” They’ve built an empire together. They have a child together. They have history. It’s Beyoncé and Jay-Z, but they are also human and have feelings. I sometimes think we only see celebrities as walking stars with no real issues — but if Lemonade tells us anything, it’s that she goes through the same things we all go through wether it’s cutting his face out of pictures as well as scratching his face out—except she gets to do it in Givenchy. It’s only now we begin to understand why Solange went cray-cray in the elevator. We all need a Solange in our lives. I’m lucky that I had four in mine and I ran to them in my time of heartbreak. 

Beyoncé is staying. It’s not because of money, it’s not because of status and it’s not because of any other reason but that she chose the option to love, for now. We should respect that and see that as a thing of hope. I had to leave that relationship because there was no winning for us. Now that I’m married, I’m not sure what I’d do if my husband were to cheat on me. I hope to never find out. We have history together and respect one another enough that when the world gives us sour grapes, we will juice them. In Beyoncé’s case, while turning lemons to lemonade, she also turned grief into hope and heartache into love. And as far Becky is concerned (whomever she may be), let’s leave her alone, she’s too busy getting her hair did

Whitney Houston’s Death + Funeral Upset with Clive Davis, Wendy Williams and Celine Dion


I get it, death brings out the ugly in people. And with twitter being at everyone’s disposal, the ugly get’s tweeted and tweeted and even retweeted. I was at the gym and happened to turn on Whiney Houston’s funeral right as Kevin Costner was ending his memorial. Then Alicia Keys came on and said a few words, then Clive Davis. Or was it the other way around? All I remember is seeing a tweet in my timeline when Clive was speaking that read, “Clive Davis is once again taking the spotlight directly above Whitney’s body.” And that sparked a discussion which lead to the video below.

You don’t have to agree with it and you don’t have to like it, but I challenge you to watch it. And at the end, ask yourself:

Should Clive Davis have been allowed to speak at Whitney Houston’s funeral?
What responsibility did The Beverly Hills Hotel have?
Did you agree with Alicia Keys calling Whitney Houston an angel?
Was Wendy Williams wrong for crying on her show concerning Whitney’s death?
And why are bloggers all of a sudden now crying out about Whitney’s demise and blaming it all on Clive Davis?
Was Celine Dion right on the money with her statement?
Was Robin Roberts swaying the interview?

Here are some Whitney pics, enjoy.











Kim Kardashian, Marriage, Megaphones and YOU!

In today’s world–several of us have a megaphone, a one-way device that allows us to shout at others what we think they should mentally digest. Some people’s megaphone is Facebook while other’s use Twitter and if you’re lucky (luck is in the eye of the beholder) you have a reality show that transports your shouts even louder (especially if you count reruns). And Kim Kardashian has a loud megaphone–louder than the rest of the Kardashian klan and it seems many people are ready to snatch that bad boy away from her to keep her from shouting any further in order to teach her a lesson, but why?

Do you realize that Kim Kardashian is being true-to-self. She hasn’t changed. She hasn’t morally switched sides. She is still the pampered, “my way or the highway” type of gal we all fell for several porn tapes ago. Why the backlash? Did you pay for her wedding? Did you send her a blender and want it back? Did you lose your faith in love or marriage because hers only lasted 72 days, if so, you have bigger problems on your hands.

When people remain consistent in their behavior–as Kim has– yet there’s a major shift in how they’re perceived, the only scale you can claim is yours. Did your scale move over to the left (now you hate her) or the right (now you like her)? Why? Dig deeper into your own life to examine what about her actions pissed you off so much or made you like her more–only then can you own your reaction and stand by it.

I see it all the time in relationships and dating–people complaining about being single, then they complain about their new love being too short or too hairy or they aren’t in the right income bracket and take to their personal megaphone to ask, “What should I do?” At least Kim had enough sense to make her own decision–can we say the same about you? Did she ridicule marriage? To me she didn’t because I think people do it all the time, on and off reality shows. Have you checked the latest divorce rates? Have you checked out your neighbor’s marriage? Your own? Marriage isn’t a magic trip you take that offers guarantees.

Are you upset because it lasted only 72 days or because you are now 100% convinced it was all for publicity? We knew this was her personality type when we heard her screaming out Ray J’s name on their sex tape. She is being consistent. So do you dislike Kim Kardashian because you believe she isn’t living life according to your plans–or because she has a bigger megaphone than you?

5 Reasons You Should Date Charlie Sheen

Crazy is as crazy does and it it doesn’t get any crazier than Charlie Sheen right now. And with that being said, I’m a little jealous of the goddesses right now, just saying. But who on the planet can ignore Charlie Sheen’s verbal diarrhea; whether it’s from getting his life back because AA is no longer a part of his daily routine (they stole his days from him) or the beauty of how he’s gearing up to work with Sylvester Stallone or how his show, Two and a Half Men, will never enter the realm of Will & Graceness and decline in ratings if CBS pays him $3 million dollars an episode. To Charlie Sheen, a man more delusional than a Lady Gaga video concept! Cheers!

5 Reasons You Should Date Charlie Sheen

1. He’s got Tiger Blood. (Who doesn’t want to date a man with Tiger Blood? The closest I ever got was dating a guy with a tattoo of a tiger on his left butt cheek who’d purr after sex.) It was fun!

2. Who doesn’t want to be considered a Goddess? I’d totally have a sex change for this one! (Although I’d still keep my beard–what?!, my aunts all have)

3. You’ll become a trending topic on Google. (Lady Gaga who?)

4. You’ll soon inherit Charlie Brothers (Get it, after he sues and takes over Warned Brothers) I wonder if they got the memo?

5. You’ll have the power to cure yourself on any addiction–he did it by just closing his eyes and making a declaration! (Please, Charlie, pick me, pick me, I’m heading down a Twinkie spiral of despair!


Would you date Charlie Sheen right now? Why or why not? Let’s dish! Leave a comment!


Nando & LaToya Jackson


I have a new mission in life and that’s to beat LaToya Jackson and her FACEBOOK FAN CLUB.

Currently, she has 31 members (she had 32 yesterday-looks like someone got a clue!). So let’s kick her non-Jackson five ass and show her who’s the boss (no offense Tony Danza).

My people…my following…let’s join together and unite. Join NANDOISM the blog FAN CLUB and show your support. I currently have 20 members, it won’t be long before I rule the WORLD!

Update #1: Dad is doing great. He asked if I still had high hair and I responded: Gotta go dad, my 19-year-old date just showed up.

Update #2: The blog has an official home now. NANDOISM the blog is under construction and will soon be up and running, stay tuned!

Update #3: I’m bringing on guest bloggers to chat about their areas of expertise–don’t worry, I promise they won’t bite. Well, maybe one does–but that’s why I brought him on.

Update #4: The Hair contest is going great. All comments posted by Sun Aug 31st will be heavily judged and analyzed before the WINNERS are chosen. (Who are we kidding? We will probably get drunk, make fun of the comments, then make fun of us, then get drunk some more and forget all about the contest.) NO!

Update #5: I just purchased: THE 4-HOUR WORK WEEK by Timothy Ferriss. It’s a Wall Street Journal BESTSELLER. I’ll be the judge of that. Do I smell a book club? If you’re also reading this little beauty–let me know, we can discuss.

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