I get at least three new Facebook friend requests daily and it’s usually from someone I’ve never met but we share numerous “friends” in common. I used to accept all of them–after all, that’s what social is all about. My social strategy on Facebook has been consistently the same for many years: Post cute kid pics and updates that I find hilarious of the crazy things that say and do. This social channel is the onlyone that most of my family follows me on and I like it that way, which aligns to the reason why I talk about my twins. I’m not a parent that is super scared of the internet and have chronicled their lives since 2008.
I used to also post my professional accomplishments and brag about my team’s efforts but I rarely do this anymore, as my wall tends to be filled with one person after an another talking about a client or a project they’re working on. I quickly realized that maybe we all don’t really care about the conference we’re speaking at or the project you championed internally that got three likes Facebook and retweeted twice. Mostly, I noticed that my “friends” aren’t really friends but people I’ve collected that truly don’t know me but are busy creating opinions of me.
Because of the above, I’ve become super guarded and not the real me. So much that when people meet me IRL, they expect to meet someone else. At what point did I start curating my life so carefully that I started to give off a different vibe and that these so-called friends, started sharing their opinions with me.
There was that one HR professional that people pay to speak at conferences that called me a “loose woman” for standing by Planned Parenthood. Or that other vile recruiter that attacked me (and many others) for making a Glassdoor list. Or the Branding professional, that decided while outing a “bully” she’d include me in the drama. And recently two executive level recruiting professionals who decided to attack me for standing with the #blacklivesmatter movement.
At what point do I say enough is enough?
For me that is today! I will no longer accept invitations on Facebook if we have never met in IRL. I will no longer tolerate hatred, negativity and socially inept people. While we are connected and you likely have a different opinion than me, use your wall to share your viewpoints, don’t throw me in the mix. Trust that I am scrolling on by yours, shaking my head but with nothing to add, mainly because, I don’t know you and don’t care enough to debate your thoughts. Find a REAL friend, pick up the phone and rant but keep that shit off my wall.
This week Celinda and I dove straight into the Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian scandal. It’s true, Kim lives her live according to likes, comments and views — but there’s something about how she rallies a crowd around her social presence that can’t be denied. And as socially savvy Taylor comes across, the way she handled the clap-back, if you can call it that–was pretty amateur.
Also on the show was the rare case of how Celinda was approached by someone transgender on Tinder. What was her response? You’ll be proud for sure!
The Spark Podcast brings you resident Psychic, Yolanda Shosana who gave us our 1st weekend reading and if you need a summary, the word for the weekend is YES! You want a personal reading from Shoshi? Click here, don’t delay!
I’m impressed this made it though the approval process when it comes to pitching ideas for global brands and their next big commercial. This one packs a punch.
We see a guy with his dad at a McDonald’s drinking coffee. The son wrote, “I like boys” on his cup and his dad abruptly walked off with his McCafe cup. We’re left watching the son sitting alone in total sadness. But then his father returns with his McCafe cup (possibly refilled) and writes over his son’s admission, “I accept that you like boys” and we sigh a huge sigh of relief.
Yes, this is a huge step and maybe the next ad can be the dad taking his son and the boy he likes to McDonald’s as opposed to another version of this commercial. Watching the ad makes people think like’s still something wrong for linking the same gender, even if it’s for a small brief moment. Straight people never have to come out. There isn’t a time in a straight boy’s life where he has to sit with his loved-ones and contemplate explaining that he’s into girls/women. Sexual orientation is such a small fragment of who we are and when I look back at my “coming out” I think — why was it anyone’s business?
Kudos for McDonald’s for taking this leap…let’s see them take two more!
Getting daily exercise is important for the heart because it makes it stronger and healthier, but an unsuspected marriage proposal does the body good too! I’m not sure it will be the newest fitness craze that’s about to hit mainstream but it might be worth considering.
It was one year ago today that German and I slushed our way through the snow and said “I do” in front of an impatient city hall worker in New York City and got married. Our official witness was one of my best friends, Charlene but also present were her then boyfriend and our Russian immigrant photographer Vlad who would constantly spit out phrases like “Put heads together like so” while bringing his hands together in a clapping motion. It was romantic, it was intimate, it was rushed as there were 200 other couples waiting to be married after us. Our officiant, after telling us we could now seal our marriage with a kiss, yelled “Next!” and we rode off into the sunset…or in our case, took a flight to Miami Beach and said goodbye to the snow.
This year won’t be any different — we leave for Miami tomorrow, except it is different, we’re an old married couple now, with a baby, our little Leona. She’s our 1 year old shih tzu puppy who’s taken over our lives (if our instagram and Facebook accounts are any proof). She’s already been to Texas and Iowa and now it’s beach time and we’re super excited. But we like to think we’re a modern married gay couple living in Brooklyn New York. We Snapchat to communicate important messages to one another like, “Don’t forget the Nair tonight!”
And while German was Nairing my back last night, I couldn’t help to think how our lives have changed in just one year. It’s easy to get caught up in every day crap and the stress of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” so I’ve developed a calming device for myself and it’s speaking to myself as my older-wiser-self. I’m sure there’s a study somewhere cautioning this as an early cause of a personalty split, but for now it works. I talk to myself from “the future” in order to not stress out and put things into perspective. Let’s say I have a presentation to give and I’m freaking out about it. I talk myself down from the edge and pretend it’s a week later and say something like, “That presentation was so sexy hot, I’m thinking of changing careers…thanks Nando! And who does your hair?” Or if I have to give an update on a project I’m working on and I haven’t received all the content I need to show much progress, the conversation in my head goes something like, “Wow, you’ve really taken being the lead on this project to the next level Nando. I’m so glad we hired you! Best decision ever! And who does your hair?”
I figured I could use this device in the positive and it got me excited to think about the future with German and our 10-year wedding anniversary. Here are the things I’ll be discussing with him as he Nairs my back on that trip. (And by now you’re probably wondering just how hairy is my back — well, let’s just say, it’s a Zach Galifianakis situation…don’t judge)
Do you remember our wedding day? No it wasn’t raining, it was snowing, read the blog!
Geesh, can you warm up the Nair in your hands a little more?
I can’t wait to hit the beach and nap. Do you think they’ll bring us Jell-O?
Did you buy the extra metamucil packets?
Joe’s Stone Crab is only a few hours away.
Yes, clip your toenails before we leave.
I don’t know, who am I? A weather man?
Oh yeah, take the blue one — you look extra sexy in that one!
Should I take the red one? You know, the red one? The red one? THE RED ONE? Forget it.
Leona on our 1st wedding anniversary…remember how she peed in the pool?
I love you.
THE RED ONE!
We saw Frozen on our honeymoon in Miami.
Wanna do that spa thing we did with the torture chamber water thing that goes across your back that we did? Did you like that? It was weird…but in a good way, right?
Damn it, you always miss a spot! I’m walking around the beach with Donald Trump’s head sticking out of my back.
Should we try going somewhere different next year for our anniversary? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Our first date? Yeah, of course I remember it. I called you Santiago when I wrote about you because I wanted to protect your identity.
Don’t forget you have 3 photography sessions when we return and I have a consultation with Shonda Rhimes on the show she wants to do on my life called “Nando.”