Before we begin, I need to establish some ground rules; there’s only 1. For the next 25 days, I request that you make yourself “coachable.” What exactly does that mean? That some of the theories I will introduce to you might seem foreign at first or maybe you’ve heard then before and they “didn’t work” but there’s a reason you’re on this page and a reason you’re reading…it’s because you were not coachable at that time. Before you read below, I’d like for you to make the declaration–out loud, “I will make myself coachable for these next 25 days.”
Life Only Happens in Language
The idea: If you allow me into your mind for the next 25 days, I can actually guarantee that at the end of the journey, there will still be you, only better; think of it as the 2.0 version of yourself. How sexy does that sound? But all of this must begin with the idea that life happens only in language.
The lesson: I’d like to introduce you to two ideas—subscribing to these two theories will be key ingredient in the next 25 days. The first being that life only happens in language. It’s in our language that we root our thoughts and behaviors. Language propels—what we think of ourselves + others—into real life. Do you get that? Language is a powerful tool that we often times misuse–especially on ourselves–in order to achieve ultimate life #fails.
Why does one person love going out on dates while another person hates it? Language. The person who dislikes dating thinks, “Here I go again, another date. I wonder how long this one will last?” vs the other person who’s excited and thinks, “Here I go again, another date! I wonder how long this one will last!” Same words but do you see the difference?
You have one person who thinks, “I’m so fat + disgusting. I guess I’ll try that new diet I saw on Dr. Oz. Maybe that will work…maybe. He’s so skinny, I wish I had me some of him.” vs someone who says,”I know I need to be a little healthier in my food choices so I’m going to eat only fresh + clean foods this week. I saw on Dr. Oz that people found success doing that so here I go! And that Dr. Oz sure does know how to work a scrub!”
“I can’t seem to get out of this creative rut, I lack motivation. My eBook, blog, business (insert other areas weakened by your rut) Let me just switch on Maury Povich and find out “Who’s the baby-daddy.” If those are the thoughts you’re having and the language you’re using, it’s time to change the conversation. Just change it. Instead of reaching for the remote control, reach for the phone and call someone from your support group list that you’ve identified in Pre-Work assignment #2 and change the conversation. Once you change the conversation, you change your world!
The words we choose to use in our daily lives trigger responses that you’re not even aware of half the time. Your life is happening all around you–because of the language you’re using. Choose your words wisely.
The second idea is that action, and only action, brings forth transformation. You can go on a diet, but cheat and never lose a single pound. Your actions didn’t reflect your goal. You can go for a new job interview, but you didn’t do your research on the company and when asked, “What do you know about us?” You gave the generic response, “I know I wanna work here!” You failed to “do” your part to really get that new role. You can write your one-man-show and just leave it on your bookshelf for 2-years and complain that no one has ever produced it. Have you taken “action” to getting it produced? I’ve never of the “producing fairies” invading someone’s home at midnight looking for manuscripts, have you? You can sit around and complain that your boss doesn’t respect or even like you–then take action and get a better job–some people you just cannot and will not win over–but how much time are you willing to spend dealing with it? Action must correlate to your language.
Love only happens in language. You can’t physically touch love. You can wrap it up in a box and give it away, nor can someone take it away from you. An ionic hair dryer is tangible. A dead bird splattered on 5th Ave is tangible. A dirty toenail clipping on the Q train is tangible–love is not. Love is a magical and wonderful idea that lives in language–why do you think you always want your “loved one” to tell you they love you? Because subconsciously, you already knew that: love only exists in language. You might be saying, “My man shows me love when he takes me out to dinner.” If you dissect that act, truly pick it apart, the action is: he’s giving you food, tangible–not love–not tangible. You may interpret that as love, which is okay, but then, why weeks later do you find yourself saying, “You haven’t told me you love me?”
Again, try on these ideas for the next 25 days. I warned you some of these concepts would be foreign, but stick with me, I promise, they will all come together.
It’s only when accepting/working/acknowledging these two theories “together” that we can bring about transformation. Notice I didn’t say, “change,” and that’s because I don’t think you need to change, you’re perfect, just “as is.” But I know we’re all looking and willing to be transformed into a better person.
What will it take to make these transformations? One word: Power. And what is power? Power: the time-frame it takes an idea to manifest. Step back and re-read that over again.
In the next 25 Days, again—only if you open yourself up to the 2 ideas I introduced to you: Life only happens in Language and Action brings forth transformation, will you start to experience a new way of “being.”
On this journey, I’m not going to “help” you, per se; that would be wrong of me, instead, I will empower you to transform. Helping someone is grounded in the theory that you seek acknowledgement for the help you gave; I’m not looking for that. I don’t need the pats on the back. Empowering someone means that the person you empowered takes flight and soars. I want you to soar in these next 25 days, and you will, because it’s just been said.
Homework: Start noticing your language. Notice how life centers on the words you say and how it affects those around you. If you say you will be somewhere at 6pm, and you arrive at 6:14pm, you’re not honoring your word—and that’s not sexy. And how do people’s attitudes/behaviors change when you don’t honor your word? Are your dates a little disturbed? Is your boss a bit upset? Are you kids looking at you with disapproval because they just spent the last 45 minutes with the cafeteria lady who smells like roast beef? Also, start to notice your behavior, and how your language affects it. Are you dreading a certain conversation, call, or meeting because of “the language” you’re using to predict the future? “This is gonna suck!” almost guarantees you have some anxiety entering the situation and you’ve also just set yourself up for a miserable time even before this event takes place.
- Think back + notice 3 instances last week where the language you use didn’t serve you and what you could have said instead.
- Write down 3 instances in which your behavior is affected by your language.
- Identify 3 other concept that only happen in language. How does this change your view of life?
That wasn’t so hard, right? If you said, “Yes it was you Mexican slave-driver!” Then I can’t wait for tomorrow because I introduce you to the concept of SCAMS!