When we fall in love, we release a chemical cocktail that takes over and makes us kick love into high speed. Unless you’re a Kardashian, then you release an ass-chemical that gets you another season on E! But one of the chemicals released in this “love cocktail” is oxytocin, not to get confused with the drug, oxycotin–although the sensation in both are the same: euphoric, happy, and horny. Research shows that our brain produces tons of this stuff early in the dating phase when experiencing physical contact like holding hands, kissing, caressing in order to build a love-bond. But the brain is wired to maintain a balance, so about six months to two years of still seeing the same person–it decreases the levels of oxytocin. The brain does this, not just to torture us but to self-preserve, it can’t function properly always skipping heartbeats, butterflies in the tummy, or hearing symphonies when they say your name. (Give it a rest Rihanna, you needy bitch!) The body starts to protest, “I can’t do this anymore, not on minimum wage!” And when this happens, you freak out, thinking, there are no more sparks, he no longer loves me and your relationship is doomed.
But you can start to secrete this chemical (yeah, even in public) by simply increasing the amount of physical touch with your partner. Simple kisses on the neck, holding hands, a quick hug will start to produce more oxytocin which increases your love-bond. It’s not magic, one kiss doesn’t equal 1mg of oxytocin, it’s a build up–so make sure you give it some time. I actually have been experimenting with Big Daddy for the last three days and I was shocked to see the results. He’s now calling me before he goes to work and we wake up early just to talk. It’s been two years for us, and I like the direction we’re headed in.
Coincidentally, Oxytocin is released when mothers give birth and that’s another reason doctors recommend breast-feeding because of the high levels of oxytocin present that will quickly bond mother and child. This must explain the woman who loves in a shoe with all those kids, she must have breastfed.
Key Takeaway: Oxytocin increases the love-bond. If you feel you are loosing the connection with your partner, try some physical contact.