Dating Tips|April 21, 2011 6:10 am

The Power of Being Single

I’m not here to tell you lies. I’m not here to tell you truths either. I’m here just to tell. And what I have to say is those thoughts of “When will I finally meet ‘the one’ better be put to rest,” for the moment at least. Why?

Being single has powers.

Being single gives you insights to yourself, your magic, your awesomeness, your sexuality that you might miss when you’re too busy surviving in a relationship wondering, “Who are they with? Where are they at? When will they call? Did they forget?”

Stand up, celebrate the power of being single by celebrating the wonders of being you. Listen to yourself, nourish your mind, dive in deep into your heart and give it what it really needs–your attention. Being in a relationship is fun, wonderful and sometimes takes you to a new level of understanding “you”–if you’re with the right person. But how do you find “that right person”? Some will say, “Calm down baby, you ask too many questions, you’ll know ‘the one’ when you meet ’em, it will be a natural thing.” I say false. I will stand up to anyone who says that and say to their face with my beady little Mexican eyes and take my right index finger and get as close to their cheek and say, “FALSE!” Because you see, that’s the beauty of love, the power of love, the mystery of love…you don’t know who ‘the one’ is, but you take a leap of faith and love long and hard anyways.

So you see, Whitney got it right when she asked, “How will I know?” because honey, that’s a question you’ll keep asking yourself over and over and over again throughout your lifetime–so practice the phrase right now in the comfort of your home, in your robe, with all the lights turned off so it’s only you and the universe present. Go ahead, I’ll wait. And when you’re done, do one more thing for me–say, “thank you” and mean it. Say thank you to yourself for being “yourself” with all your quirks, flaws, and also your curious nature that prompts you to ask, “When will I finally meet ‘the one’?” Because in my mind, you already have, you. And take one more look in mirror to understand and appreciate the power of you, the power of the unknown and most of all, the power of being single.

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  • OOOh. I like this one. SO True! Even married you ask your self (at times) how do you know? ( in doubt☺) This takes me back to the way it was… so true.

    • I’m so glad that you commented–and gave us that perspective!
      I don’t think we “ever” know–we just do and hope. And that’s the RISKYbeauty of life.

  • Most certainly! I have to put in my 2 cents of course. Now that my boss isn’t wondering the hallways and wondering who I’m typing to. I may type freely.

    I always tell my dear friend, let’s call her “Jane”. Jane, you are a single girl living in NYC, make the best of it. She believes I have nothing to say about the matter because I am currently married. (About 1.5 years now). I say to her, my love, I haven’t been married my entire life, I do remember how it is to be single. I remember how coming home and not worrying about dinner. I remember that i can stay in my pj’s all day and noone would give me “what is wrong with you” look. I also remember how I could stay out all night and not have someone calling to ask where I am feeling. Mind you, I’m enjoying the other end of the spectrum, I really am. I enjoy “the married life”. But dear Jane, please make the best of your life and stop withering away in the poor me I’m single syndrome. Live, laugh, love…or not

    • Thank you so much for commenting–you just made my day (hope I didn’t twist your arm too much over on Facebook!)
      But you have a great point “But dear Jane, please make the best of your life and stop withering away in the poor me I’m single syndrome. Live, laugh, love…or not”
      So wise, so wise.

    • I love Aliki’s comment! I will try and engrave her words to “Jane” into my brain. Wise advice indeed.

      • What rings true about Aliki’s comment is its universal message of “choice” that we sometimes forget to exercise.
        Thanks for stopping over sister!

  • Ahh I loved this article. I do question being “single” a lot, because I am now at 30 surrounded by marriages and friends in relationships. I get down on myself too much about it. About why they all seem to be able to find someone so easily and it’s such a daunting task for myself…..and then I seem to BE attracted all the wrong ones. I remember once I asked you for some advice, you said some men like to collect things and boy you hit the nail on the head with that one! That is exactly what he did, and of course I look at MYSELF as the one with the “issue”. Like it’s my fault they didn’t want to commit, that there must be a problem with ME. When in fact, that is not the case. I just seem to gravitate subconciously to the emotionally unavailable ones.

    • I love how you’re growing. Stand up and celebrate it.

    • Holly, maybe…just maybe…at one point your friends (the married in relationship ones) decided they were “getting old” (sister, 30 isn’t old btw). And they settled for the first guy in their life that wouldn’t run away once they are seen without makeup in the morning.

      Don’t think there is something wrong with you. Just think of it, as you are playing the field till some great guy comes along that’s just perfect for you! Cause you deserve the best! Don’t settle cause you think father time is knocking on your bridal registry! As my great grandma (abuelita) use to say. “better to be alone than in bad company”

      It will happen

      • I know that saying! It’s awesome in Spanish! Mejor Sola que mal acompaniada! Granny speaks the truth!

      • awww thank you! And yes, I am not searching to be “married” …but yes I have felt the father time knocking on my door. You are sweet. <3 Sigh, I've been playing the field for so long, but i think you are so right about settling!!! I definitely will not do that!

        • Ah, the dating process.
          It’s as mysterious as it is defining.
          What’s a hot sexy mama with a good heart to do?

  • I married young (now divorced) so I was never in the position of being single and looking and worrying about finding “the one.” So from my perspective I can’t really draw from past experiences. I can draw from missed experiences and from that I say — celebrate being single while you are. Enjoy it. It’s kind of a luxury and you don’t know how long it will last. I’m single now but I have kids so it’s not the same. So single ladies, dance in your kitchen, stay out, stay home, watch trash TV or some nerdy stuff you wouldn’t want people to know about. Just be.

    • I love your ending, “Just be”.
      Girl, you are inspiring me to dance with my hairy chest all out in the open!

  • Being single for 39 years (divorced since I was 21),I have taken one long and powerful “inner self” journey. It has been a most interesting journey at that. There are some perks to being single and there are also perks to being in a long relationship. Being single, I depend on me and only me to take care of my emotional, spiritual and financial needs. I don’t have anyone on a daily constant basis to lean on or depend on. Sometimes, I just want to give these needs to someone to take over for me. Other times, I am grateful for my ability to stand on my own. I definitely know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I had found my spiritual life partner and had gotten married AGAIN or had stayed married to a man I met as a teenager, I would not be the woman I am today. I certainly wouldn’t be as evolved as I am now. I wouldn’t have a strong faith in God, I wouldn’t have written my book, I wouldn’t be doing the psychic work I am doing now. I know that I wouldn’t even be the shadow of the woman I am now. FOR THAT, I AM VERY GRATEFUL. THANK YOU GOD.

    • What a powerful movement you live! Tell us all about your book!
      Work it sweetie, plug, plug, plug! I wanna know more.

  • Great post Nando as always. I don’t know how you do it, but you keep getting better and better. :)

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