First Date Tips from a Black Swan

We all have one – an alter ego. You know that little voice that tells you that it’s ok to eat that extra piece of cake, or to call in sick just to have a fun day, or even to go ahead and have unprotected sex because it feels better! Now I’m not suggesting you follow everything it tells you to do, but it doesn’t hurt to hear it out every now and then.

Very few people will ever know you as well as your own Black Swan. When you think about it, it’s the side of us that pushes our moral limits, challenges us to do things that we would not otherwise do. In the proverbial mirror of life, they are the reflections of ourselves that crave attention, danger, sex, excitement, and freedom from the mundane. And I say, let loose the alter ego from time to time. Let the Black Swan fly free – in moderation of course.

Mr. Black Swan’s top 5 dating tips for 1st dates

1. Always, always, always have a creative escape plan – long gone are the days of having a friend call you in the middle of the date to bail you out. Not only is it obvious, but it’s just so cliché and frankly it requires too much timing. If you’re ready to leave after the first 15 minutes, you’re shit outta luck until your friend calls you (usually 30min-1hour). Try bringing note cards with you that have dating affirmations written on them. (Example: You’re pretty! He’s going to like you for you! You’re an amazing conversationalist! etc…) And when the date starts to go bad, accidentally drop them on the floor and allow him to pick them up. Then feign in embarrassment and ask to be taken home.

2. There is nothing wrong with being prepared to have sex on the first date! So, be sure to trim the hedges (advice for men: The tree always looks taller when the hedges have been trimmed) and flush out the pipes!!! Bring more than one condom – just in case (advice for women: there ain’t nothing wrong with supplying your own rubbers)!

3. I say skip all the getting to know you conversation bullshit – if it’s ‘meant to be’ there will plenty of time for that later. Hit the down and dirty button and put all your kinky cards on the table!! Talk about what makes your toes curl and what makes your skin crawl. Get it out in the open so that when sex does happen there are no awkward moments. Whatever you’re into…toys, role-playing, S&M, feet, butt funk, belly button lint – it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing more awkward than pulling out nipple clamps and anal beads in front of an unsuspecting victim. Trust me, I know.

4. Whatever you do on the date, think of something that you can say is the first time you’ve done or had (even if it’s not). Example: “OMG- this is delicious! This is the first time I’ve ever eaten Fettuccini Alfredo!” Something about sharing that first experience with someone makes it feel special. BUT, think wisely, don’t just blurt anything out. There are do’s and don’ts to this.

do = “This is my very first time Salsa Dancing, ever!”
don’t = “This is my first time ever using a condom.”

5. Lastly, don’t worry about impressing your date. If you two are compatible that will happen naturally. Think more about impressing yourself! If you’re not impressed with who you are, your insecurities will show. Be the kind of person you would want to go out with…and if they don’t like it, they weren’t worth it! So go home and seduce yourself!

What about you? How do you get in touch with your Black Swan on a first date? Leave a comment and let’s start the discussion!


Extra bonus–My own Black Swan Video:

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9 thoughts on “First Date Tips from a Black Swan

  • March 11, 2011 at 10:40 am

    LMAO !! I just watched Black Swan last weekend .. honestly I didn’t like the movie so much ‘cos it was so obvious what was going on .. but that’s not the point .. I was later seen at the airport flapping my shrug around imitating the Black Swan to entertain myself LOL

    I think everyone should just be themselves (and their hidden alter ego) on a date or when meeting someone new. ‘Cos at the end of the day, that person is meeting you for the first time anyway – so you might as well show all your quirks the 1st time around so they don’t get too surprised when you randomly show your true colours when they least expect it.

    I LOVE the video !! it’s so cool !!

    • March 11, 2011 at 6:13 pm

      Hey thanks for the feedback! I truly believe that 1st dates are for the sole purpose of putting all your quirks on the table. That way neither party can say that they didn’t know what they were getting into. Unfortunately too many people spend way too much time trying to cover up their quirks and flaws, and they try to portray themselves as a ‘better’ version of who they think they are. I actually think people should go on first dates as basic as possible! No make-up, no cologne, no fancy clothes, that way if it works out you can only get better from that point. That’s why when I go on 1st dates I don’t take a shower for 3 days and I show up in my pajamas! And if they’re still interested after that – they must be a keeper! HAHAHA

  • March 11, 2011 at 11:12 am

    p.s Robert – great post, great video 🙂
    just realized I didn’t mention your name in my comment above

    • March 11, 2011 at 8:09 pm

      Thanks Love!!! I never thought I’d actually be giving advice to anyone about dating. It’s kind’a fun! YAY!! stay tuned for more, I think I’ve got the blogger bug-

  • March 12, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    Mr. Black Swan,
    Your tips are great.
    I would LUV to know what you’re tips are for a 1st Kink Date!

    • March 12, 2011 at 5:42 pm

      hmmm, that’s an interesting one, Arturo. Maybe I should make that my next blog topic. Keep your eyes peeled and your pants around your ankles, I’ll definitely be posting again in the near future.

  • June 12, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    Hilarious and honest! I love it! If only people could be on the same page about expectations, an more importantly communicating clearly and honestly … First with oneself then the rest of the world!

    • June 16, 2011 at 4:47 am

      Hey Maynor, I completely agree with you! being honest with oneself is key! otherwise your just spinning your wheels and getting nowhere, trying to find the answers in someone else. make sense? I hope so.


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