We all have one – an alter ego. You know that little voice that tells you that it’s ok to eat that extra piece of cake, or to call in sick just to have a fun day, or even to go ahead and have unprotected sex because it feels better! Now I’m not suggesting you follow everything it tells you to do, but it doesn’t hurt to hear it out every now and then.
Very few people will ever know you as well as your own Black Swan. When you think about it, it’s the side of us that pushes our moral limits, challenges us to do things that we would not otherwise do. In the proverbial mirror of life, they are the reflections of ourselves that crave attention, danger, sex, excitement, and freedom from the mundane. And I say, let loose the alter ego from time to time. Let the Black Swan fly free – in moderation of course.
Mr. Black Swan’s top 5 dating tips for 1st dates
1. Always, always, always have a creative escape plan – long gone are the days of having a friend call you in the middle of the date to bail you out. Not only is it obvious, but it’s just so cliché and frankly it requires too much timing. If you’re ready to leave after the first 15 minutes, you’re shit outta luck until your friend calls you (usually 30min-1hour). Try bringing note cards with you that have dating affirmations written on them. (Example: You’re pretty! He’s going to like you for you! You’re an amazing conversationalist! etc…) And when the date starts to go bad, accidentally drop them on the floor and allow him to pick them up. Then feign in embarrassment and ask to be taken home.
2. There is nothing wrong with being prepared to have sex on the first date! So, be sure to trim the hedges (advice for men: The tree always looks taller when the hedges have been trimmed) and flush out the pipes!!! Bring more than one condom – just in case (advice for women: there ain’t nothing wrong with supplying your own rubbers)!
3. I say skip all the getting to know you conversation bullshit – if it’s ‘meant to be’ there will plenty of time for that later. Hit the down and dirty button and put all your kinky cards on the table!! Talk about what makes your toes curl and what makes your skin crawl. Get it out in the open so that when sex does happen there are no awkward moments. Whatever you’re into…toys, role-playing, S&M, feet, butt funk, belly button lint – it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing more awkward than pulling out nipple clamps and anal beads in front of an unsuspecting victim. Trust me, I know.
4. Whatever you do on the date, think of something that you can say is the first time you’ve done or had (even if it’s not). Example: “OMG- this is delicious! This is the first time I’ve ever eaten Fettuccini Alfredo!” Something about sharing that first experience with someone makes it feel special. BUT, think wisely, don’t just blurt anything out. There are do’s and don’ts to this.
do = “This is my very first time Salsa Dancing, ever!”
don’t = “This is my first time ever using a condom.”
5. Lastly, don’t worry about impressing your date. If you two are compatible that will happen naturally. Think more about impressing yourself! If you’re not impressed with who you are, your insecurities will show. Be the kind of person you would want to go out with…and if they don’t like it, they weren’t worth it! So go home and seduce yourself!
What about you? How do you get in touch with your Black Swan on a first date? Leave a comment and let’s start the discussion!
Extra bonus–My own Black Swan Video: