A Gay Best Friend is not a Fashion Accessory

photo by marinnyc.com

photo by marrinnyc.com

In the beauty and fashion industry, people are always looking for the latest trend, style or look. And in that world, who ever gets it, wins. But what happens when the latest trends are human? The Gay Best Friend phenomenon has taken over. Everyone seems to have one, from reality stars to the fictional television characters we see on TV but do you have to be either to have one?

According to the popular UK website, Daily Mail UK, While Liz Hurley hid from the press as she battled to get back into post-baby shape, who was there to look after her, give her the encouragement she needed and help her put the spectre of Steve Bing’s betrayal behind her? Her loyal GBF’s Elton John and David Furnish. (I think Jennifer Aniston and Sandra Bullock both need one–BAD!)

In the real world, having a Gay Best Friend (GBF) isn’t such a new thing. My own mother had gay friends around but back then, women were called fag hags–a word that conjures up horrible images of old spinsters and witches–in my head. And today, things have changed–but a few twists have been thrown in. Now, because it’s cool and chic to have a GBF, everybody wants one, and everybody should have a Gay Best Friend–but before you go off in search of one–if you don’t already have one–ask yourself the following five questions.

1. Why do I want a Gay Best Friend?

2. What do I expect to gain from the friendship?

3. What misconceptions do I have about the gay culture?

4. What do I bring to the relationship?

5.  How is my current boyfriend/husband/significant other going to react?

Having a GBF isn’t going to solve all your life’s problems, but it will add some fun to the mix. I’m mean, we are that amazing plus we are so creative when it comes to life issues–we’ve seen Knots Landing and Days of our Lives!

We’re human; we get hungry, hurt and horny just like you, so treat us like the valuable person we are and not just this season’s D&G clutch.

The amount of unconditional love and acceptance we give–when reciprocated–is endless. And once you figure out the answers to these questions above, you’re ready to proceed to the next step, which is, “Where do I find the Gays?” Good Lord, we’re everywhere, but you want to make sure you find one that fits into your life seamlessly and vise versa.

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7 Comments

  • Very well written piece my dear. I do agree. While an essential part to any girls life, a gay best friend is not a fashion accessory. I love the sharing of love and support we have for each other. “Fag hag”? I hate that term and wish society would move past it, unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be the case does it.

    Rambling this morning. Time for more coffee so I can comment more coherently.

  • OK…I explained this to a black gay buddy of mine while we were in grad school, and please pardon me for taking this convo’ to a socio-political level; but…similar to being a black male, I find that gays are often co-opted into groups for self-righteous reasons by self-righteous individuals. It’s a less of a fashion accessory than it is a signal of ones progressive and “open” mind, rare currency amongst white American liberals. I would urge all gay people to be careful who they allow to co-opt them. Clearly it would be presumptuous to say everyone that has a “gay friend” is doing so to demonstrate how far removed they are from savagery this country’s history is known for,…yes, gay folk like black folk are human, who have feelings but they/we are not “political objects” (I coined that term).

    Nando dude, my homie never made it to DC bro.

  • my my my – you do have a way with words don’t ya ?

    I luv my gay friends :) they are absolutely awesome ! My first gay friend ‘came out’ to me when I was 15 an he was 18; and till date we’re great mates. Whilst at university; another friend ‘came out’ to me on the way to a club night .. even his sister didn’t know at the time and they lived together (we lived in the same building)

    Being in Bombay – I’ve come across many openly gay guys – and each one is an individual success in their chosen fields. I know of some people who do tend to have their gay mates around them as a ‘fashion accessory’ which I think is disgusting. It’s so obvious that they don’t really care about their friend – its more about ‘oh look at me – I’m open minded and can be friends with anyone’

    My bestie HRH is uber cool – he’s totally my man on the dance floor and I wish more men were like him .. he’s a genius with make-up (head make-up artiste for L’Oreal) and when it comes to breaking it down – he’s so straight it can hurt ! but that’s why he’s my bestie .. he tells it to me as it is.

    He always comes out with me and our other straight friends for parties; and when he wants to hit a gay party – I always go with him cos that’s what friends do.

    He’s my mate – not my accessory – and anyone who treats him (or any other gay friend) as an accessory shall face the wrath of the Diva.
    .-= Dazediva´s last blog ..Music Mondays 13 Taio Cruz – Break Your Heart =-.

  • Love it Nando! All of us have a variety of friends (or should) from the conservative to the very liberal. I love my friendship spectrum because I can talk to whomever I want depending on my mood. The same goes for my gay and straight friends. Unfortunately, many of my gay friends have fled our hometown to cooler places like Austin and New York! I was recently excited at the thought of having my own male gbf, but unfortunately, he turned out to be straight and flirtatious. It would be nice to have a gbf who would not hit on me and who my husband wouldn’t see as a threat!

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