No one talks about their money issues when dating. Everyone’s preoccupied with How Do I Know If He Likes Me? And when it comes to online dating, we’ve all seen profiles with income level highlighted on them but I’ve yet to see the same money brackets listed with you checking off the amount of debt you own. And there’s a reason for that, no one wants to talk about their money problems in today’s recession, online daters just want to snatch a date. But that changes when you enter a relationship, the topic of finances cannot be ignored. When you’re making out your dream guy/girl dating criteria, I can’t help but wonder, “Will dating someone who’s debt-free mean funds in the bank of love? ”
As my boyfriend and I celebrate 6 months together this month; we reached a point a few weeks ago when we entered the “I don’t have any money, you’re gonna have to pay for the movie if you wanna go so bad” talk. My own personal finances were killing me and that put a strain on the relationship. As supporting as my boyfriend was (buying me a metro card here and there, providing me lunch more times that I can count–those small or HUGE favors were actually bringing his own finances down, cause I can eat a mean lunch, just saying! What were two Mexicans with no financial savvy to do? We did what any normal Gay couple would do, we turned to my ex.
My ex is a financial guru who works on Wall Street and took one look at our finances and set us straight–no pun intended. After he worked out our budgets, and wiggled some money around and looked deep inside our “debt zone” he showed us the light at the end of the tunnel, no it wasn’t a disco ball! He gave us a weekly breakdown of what needed to be paid and how much we needed to put away into savings. The ex was always into saving money which explains why his savings account wasn’t just an account with a $0 balance, like two Mexicans I know. Don’t judge.
Today, I’m one payment away from paying off my credit card in full and my boyfriend is only 1 month away from paying off his own $2,500 credit debt. We’re not deprived, yet we’re on a strict budget–no wiggle room–but we’re both sleeping better at night because it gave us back a sense of security. Having no money while dating someone isn’t sexy, there’s no way around it and no matter how much you love someone or how much they mean to you, it’s a struggle when one person carries the financial burden on their shoulders. We’ve all heard that money problems are divorce-related issues, but no one ever made the connection to the dating crowd.
Having someone else look at your debt and see the numbers in order to crunch them to help restructure your finances will improve your way of life and it can quickly turn around your dating game. As for us, we’re two Mexicans working together to reach our individual goals. So as they say, when the going gets tough, the tough get in touch with someone who can save their brown butts. Ah, financial freedom, feels and smells good.
Has money ever been an issue when you’re dating? Men, are you expected to always pay? Ladies, how do you approach the check when it comes? Leave a comment and let’s discuss.