Women: Why You Need a Gay Best Friend
Whether it’s a Will & Grace fantasy or a reality star lifestyle (Bethenny Frankel, Tori Spelling, or even Playboy’s Holly Madison) you’re seeking, having a Gay Best Friend (GBF) is a must for today’s woman; let me explain why. Last week was busy, I had a two chapter deadline for my agent (for my upcoming book), a client meeting to get their social media running, and I also had an interview with Merrell Hollis, make-up artist for Wendy Williams, as research for my book. As I left Merrell to meet my client, I stopped at Bryant Park for a smoothie and a breather. But what I encountered was frightening–like a monkey biting off your face frightening. As I walked through the park and scoped out a seat, I noticed that women were starring each other down, checking each other out–how I figured supervisors at Pork Factories looked at a vendors slab of meat before they decide if it was worthy or not. I eventually found a seat, not knowing it was a front row ticket to ”Show: Bitch”.
Woman in Gucci Shades: Did you see that one, who just walked by?
Woman with tons of lip gloss: I did, she needs to take that dress back to Target!
I tried to tune them out; I need a break from my own brain by that point so I shifted in my seat and turned my chair at a different angle; big mistake. On the other side, I heard the following conversation already in progress.
Woman with beautiful hair: …So like I was telling you, that nasty-looking bitch took my card and I had to shake her hand. I knew she couldn’t get me any business; she didn’t even have her teeth bonded and I could tell she hadn’t manicured in a while.
Woman in tight sun dress: Ew, did you “Purell” afterwards? I would have. Actually, I wouldn’t have touched her!
After a few more exchanges, I got up and left. I can’t blame it all on the women, the heat was also bad and there’s noting worse than a sweaty Mexican! As I stood in line at the Mr. Softy ice cream truck, ssshhh, don’t tell my boyfriend, I’m supposed to be on the Herbalife diet, I overheard this from a women on the phone.
Woman on the phone waiting for a delicious single-dipped strawberry cone: No, she has no idea I’m seeing her man. He doesn’t want to be with her anyways, so I’m giving him options. She just stresses him anyways, I give him the freedom to come and go as he pleases. Girl, please, I know it’s wrong, but she has no idea and what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Yeah, I’m going over to her house for the baby shower this weekend.Of course you didn’t get an invite, it’s only for her good friends.
The number one reason women need a Gay Best Friend, is no more competition! Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the law of attraction, or maybe it was just the cattiness between these Bryant Park women, but I thought to myself, “These women need a Gay Best Friend to knock some sense into them.” They also need a GBF so they don’t have to deal with any of these issues. What a Gay Best Friend provides is a solid friendship built on trust, love, unconditional emotional support and a dash of fabulousness! With there being 9 types of Gays–each one different from the other–every woman deserves a loyal friend to celebrate life with. Before you start craving one; read this post on The Re-Launch of Gay that explains a little more about Gays and their diverse nature.
Keep in mind, a GBF isn’t a fashion accessory and the friendship should be based on mutual reciprocating factors like respect, trust and honesty and depending on what kind of lifestyle a woman leads, there’s a Gay type out there for her, her perfect gay match! From the research I’ve conducted so far, all the women who currently have a Gay Best Friend tend to have a little less stress and a whole lot more fun. I think they’ve tapped into something wonderful. I myself “gay” for Cris and we’ve been friends since the 4th grade. Some might say our relationship is a bit unrealistic or high maintenance, we speak 5-6 times a day either through e-mail or quick cell phone calls, but it’s been working like a well gay-oiled machine–so why complain?
Sure, having a Gay won’t solve your financial worries, man problems, or weight issues, but honey, it sure beats having to deal with all of that mental junk on your own. Do you have a Gay Best Friend? (Teens girl’s do) What’s that relationship like? Are you missing out on good times because you don’t have one? Leave me a comment, I just may be able to hook you up with your perfect gay match!
Ugh! I hate petty girl chatter, yet I do not have a GBF either. My gays all have been claimed by other women and they seem to sharpen their fingernails when I come around. Maybe you should write about if it’s ok to share your gay (GBF).
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Are you looking for one? Do you know the steps to finding your perfect Gay match? And, that’s a great topic suggestion–sharing your Gay. I will write one–and why that’s a BIG NO NO!
Oh man, Nando, there is nothing worse than having to share friends because there is always the one friend in the group that you can’t stand but you don’t know if you’re alone in this and you don’t want to be the catty bitch that brings it up.
Have no GBF. Actually hardly have any friends. Too many kids! Maybe I’ll say my best friend is my 2 year old. AFAIK he is not gay but he is refreshingly direct in his communication and doesn’t play stupid silly fakey-fakey games.
OMG we so need to do a web show together where we talk about this sort of very important issue!
I really do love my fellow women, and love being friends with them but so many of them are so afraid to be seen as mad or angry that they do all sorts of crazy, hurtful crap instead because it’s “nicer”.
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I can see how he’s your BFF, I might need his number soon! And you need a Gay best Friend, I suggest the Family Gay because you would have so much in common!
Ugh, my gay would have smack me for sleeping with another girls man. Granted, i smacked him for sleeping around on his man. That’s the the great thing about the GBF/straight girl relationship: total honesty. My gay can (and does) tell me everything even if i don’t want to hear it.
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I have a feeling that your Gay is the “In Gay That’s Out” from the sound of it–he’s fabulous, he’s sexy and he leaves the BS at home! Thank you for the RT on twitter and the awesome comment! Get your Gay to come on here and leave a comment, yeah?
I could not agree more!!!! See, this is why I need a new GBF.
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We need to work on that, Stat! I think you need a Zen Gay. But I could be wrong.
This made me laugh…us women are ridiculous! But I completely agree that we all need a GBF. I had one in HS but then moved for college & don’t have one anymore! Have any gays in the southernmost California city for me?
Great post!!
I’m glad you caught the jist of it–women are awesome, we Gays love you–but sometimes you need to back off the estrogen and cross over to Gay side. If you’re in the market for a GBF, let me know–I can see what I can do. Really, let me know, let’s get your perfect Gay match set up!
This is why I don’t have a big crowd of girlie girl friends. The cattiness bugs the hell out of me. It’s so middle school.
I wish my cousin lived much closer by than he does!
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Do you currently have a Gay? Because from the Sound of it–you would have to stay away
from “The Old-Queen Gay” and focus on hanging out with “The Middle Gays”.
My advice for straight guys. Make sure your woman has a Gay because they can do things with them, that you won’t have to anymore! Queens are the best!
You are totally onto something there! Side note: not many of us still like to be called queen, though–but other than that–you’re one brilliant straight man! I assume your girlfriend/wife has a Gay?
Hook me up baby, you know I could always use more gay friends. But FYI, you know gays can be just as snarky or more so, then women.
I don’t know why women compete with each other the way they do, I myself am guilty of the “my shit doesn’t stink” walk! LOL and I am sure other women have commented about it when I walked by. We are all guilty of these horrible comments about members of our own fairer sex. But some of the conversation that you spoke of above were committed by straight up skanks, cheating with a woman’s man, and attending her baby shower is ice cold and something that most women ( I hope ) would never do. The dress comment yes, but it takes a cold woman to be with someones man, especially a friend’s who is pregnant with your lovers child.
We can be snarky–but never to our own girl! That I guarantee! But i get’cha!
I know men compete BIG time–been to a gym lately? Oy! Those beasts are trying to bench heavy weights and get hurt–it’s a human nature thing–within our own sexual class.
I love this! I’ve been thinking a lot about the bitchiness of women lately. And not in a “go girl!” kinda way either! BTW I’d be shunned in Bryant Park apparently!
Xo Susie
Girl, I was getting some looks myself! So, do you have a GBF? Tell me more!
Nando, you need to hook me up with a Zen gay in Paris! I don’t know how to break onto the “scene”…
And the cattiness here is astounding. Silent. But DEADLY.
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I will start working on it–I don’t have the hook-up just yet, but maybe you can be the gateway–and then you will have GAYS galore and you know we make excellent wingmen!