The Re-Launching of Gay

Diversity is the spice of life–despite what garlic lover’s tell you. And in that diverse way of living, thinking, and being–we celebrate our differences. You can get a room full of 100 people and have them take the Coke challenge–no, I’m not talking that kind of coke (Wall Street bankers, stop salivating), I’m referring to the soft drink. And at the end of the day, after everyone is bloated, crashed from their sugar high and feeling the 140 calories they just drank; you would get a few people who loved it, some who hated it and other who choose the opposing soft drink. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? That’s the beauty of it–everyone is. And that my friends is the beauty of the term diverse.

But bring up a sensitive issue like being gay and there seems to be a common denominator floating around, “Oh, their fierce and fabulous, gays can help you find the right lipstick!” Now, as much as I love being called fabulous and fierce; actually, I don’t really know what being fierce is–I can’t help you pick a lipstick; I can’t even pick out chapstick, much less tell you what color you should be schmearing on your lips. The world is finally learning to celebrate gays but only one type of gay, the “in gay that’s out”. So it’s time for  the re-launching of GAY!

There are several types of gays in our rainbow (9 to be exact), and depending of the type of gay your gay is–you might have to accept that lipstick color selection is not one of his traits found in his DNA. I know some of my exes were not fashionably sensitive, and if you allowed them to style you–you’d end up looking like an extra in Tina Turner’s Thunder Dome video. Not a cute look, especially since gladiator sandals are so last year. So it’s time for all of us to rise up and celebrate the gay next to you but only after you find out what his strengths are, what are some of his likes/dislikes, or discover what his interests consists of, so you can celebrate him and his true self–not for the gay you want him to be.

Whether he’s a Nerd/Geek Gay, a Family Gay, an Old-Queen Gay, a Zen Gay, a Professional Gay, or one of the other 4 gay types–they all deserve to be celebrated because the light they shine in your life will remain bright, constant and readily available for you during your darkest moments. A Family Gay will know the best times to hit Target and not get mauled by the crowds, while a Zen Gay can offer tips on balancing your life and helping out the environment and the ever-so-naughty Old-Queen Gay will dispense the daily scoop on your next-door neightbor’s tragic marriage.

The next time you see a gay, don’t snap your fingers at him and say, “Girl, I’m having a fashion emergency, I need help!” because number one, not all gays like to be called girl but number two, he might have you looking like a cross between Pipi Long Stocking and an epileptic peacock–which is basically the Fergie look. We gays are great listeners, can provide insight on any topic other than fashion (relationships, finance, cooking, maintenance, career, spirituality, love) it’s not just hand bags and conversations on “how to get your bangs cut”.  It’s time we re-launch gay and put all our diverse flavors out there to be celebrated. And please, don’t contact me for anything else than a great guacamole recipe, cause child, I’m not that type of Gay!

Do you know Gays who aren’t  fashionistas? Are they any less of a friend? Are you committed to helping me re-launch gay? Leave a comment with your commitment stated!

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