Just like masturbation,fine-tuning your gaydar is a skill, but is it possible for a gay man to have his internal gay compass permanently on the fritz? If you ask me to make a grilled cheese sandwich, cut your bangs, or even snip your baby’s umbilical cord, I’ll show up and perform my duty with precision, ease and confidence. Yes, I’ve cut an umbilical cord, but that’s another blog and it goes more under the file of burned bologna, but I digress. The point is, I am good at tasks; all but one, zoning in on gay men.
I’m not sure if it’s a biological, mental or physical but mine is clearly non existent. I’ve sat in amazement as friends–both male and female–turn their gaydar dials on and start to label gay men and women like they were stockers at Walmart sticking tags on tampons. Oh how I envy them. I feel like the ugly ducking who’s still waiting for his magical feathers to sprout. And its been 34 years.
I remember the first time my gaydar failed; it was during my high school years. I fell in love with a young Black boy in the first-aid isle at Kmart. He was buying hydrogen peroxide and I was reaching for the foot fungus cream when our eyes met. We both had our products and marched up to the sales counter. I was drawn to this stranger, intoxicated with a sense of lust, love and itchy feet. His mysterious dark eyes and thick full lips consumed me. I allowed him to go before me in the line–it would be unsouthern not to and I stared at him the entire time wondering if he had fallen in love with me too. Just then, a tall slinky black girl popped up out of nowhere and came up to him and snatched the peroxide out of his hands and yelled at him for taking too long. He turned to me as my eyes were still locked on him and said, “What’s your problem? You’ve been looking at me funny since I saw you over there!”
In my embarrassment, I pretended to not speak English and just scurried out of the store. That was the first time my gaydar failed. Incidentally, it was also the first time I shoplifted. In all the commotion, I ran out of Kmart without paying for the foot cream. To this day my gaydar doens’t work and at times I don’t know whether a guy is flirting with me from across the street with a wink or just having a mild stroke.
When did you discover your gaydar? And do you think you have to be gay to have it?
You do not have to be gay to have Gaydar. Just like you don’t have to be a lesbian to have a lesbian fantasy or two!
.-= acidicice´s last blog ..Time is running out… =-.
Ooh, HOT MAMA!
you are killing me.
I love it.
I know hags (and yes, I know they hate that term) that have awesome gaydar, better than most gay men.
I don’t think your gaydar is broken, but maybe too sensitive – i.e. picking up on those deep desires no one admits too, especially in front of the girlfriend in public.
But – what do you think of some people confusing Gaydar with wishful thinking?? That I think happens WAY too much with us.
I really think mine is broken or I just never had one. Oy!
I don’t even fine tune my ‘dar anymore. I assume all men are gay until proven otherwise. A safer way to play in El Lay.
I think in LA, it’s just part of nature.
Am I wrong? hehe
Good Question. I don’t have one. I see well groomed men who care about their appearance and immediately think: Italians!…..is this wrong??????
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..Making Lemonade With Your Kids =-.
LIAR! You do have one!
I remember you in college saying, I got “the vibe”.
hehehe (you knew I had to bring that up!)
I totally do not have gaydar. Lol. I almost hit on my friends boyfriend before I knew him. Woops. Haha
.-= Dylan (JAGK2009)´s last blog ..JAGK2009: I have a headache and I still have so much homework to do. Ugh. =-.
that’s a BIG woops buddy!
maybe we need to call on some other gay to let us borrow theirs?
what’dya think?
have to agree with marna, these days you just can’t tell.
@Manila Minute–We need people like Marna–who can clean these tough life issues up for us, don’t we?
thank you for popping by and leaving some comment love! u rock.
Uh, earth to Nando: the guy at K-mart was most likely on the DL. He had to go out of his way to say, “what’s your problem? you’ve been staring at me?” to assert his being staight. Your gaydar was probably right on; you just locked eyes with someone with a big hang up…
I guess the world will never know.
People also say we gays mix our gaydar with “wishful thinking”.
hmmm?
I had a friend in college whose gay and everyone teased him except for me…. I strongly believed he was just a lil floppy whilst talking… until one day, highly stoned, he fessed up! I’ve never felt so silly ever!
We all need to have gaydar, whatever the reason!
Ah, it’s good when we gays find friends like you!
Thanks so much for popping by and much love for the comment! U Rock.
my gaydar is blazing!!!!!!!!
i have a 99% rate and the 1% hasnt faced the truth yet!
wow, I need some of you!
Blazing radar. Work it.
My Gay/Lesbi/Bi-dar works well 90% of the times upon first look and greet contact, the other 10% requires more interaction which not always can be followed up… I think the “more handsome” people think you are, the easier to tune-in..
wow, yours is that good?
do you give classes?
too funny, glad I have Gaydar & it never lines, the smallest details most over look, set mine off……lol. I have straight female friends that have Gaydar
i need lessons–BAD!
I find that eye-contact is usually a give away. If somebody looks at you in the eyes, when you’re not having a conversation, and meets your eyes without looking away immediately they’re gay.
This works for me 90% of the time.
woah! I feel like Jesus gypped me! Where’s my gaydar?