What's Your Seduction Device?

Living in New York City is like living in a large, crowded yet provocative classroom where you’re constantly learning new things about others and more importantly–about yourself. These new discoveries can be looked at as major flaws or in my case, sexy superpowers. Recently, I discovered that we all have a seduction device–and that, my friend was a discovery like no other.

I have a friend who’s undergoing a 12-month life coach training program and this past Saturday he invited me to attend a portion of his training where they discussed the art of seduction.

As I understood it, we all have a “seduction device” that draws people into our circle and this is how we gain and establish relationships in our lives–whether they be personal or business. Your friend Sally might be the happiest person you know and whenever you call or are around her she’s consistently spreading rays of sunshine which makes you want to be around her because she makes you feel good. You’re “drawn in” by her ability to see the positive in every situation. So one might say Sally’s seduction device is her “cheerfulness” and if you were ask five of Sally’s friends, they’d all agree that’s why they remain her friend.

But we later discovered that “Miss Sally Sunshine” also has a counter-part to her positive side; it’s like the ying to her yang. And that little discovery was a huge breakthrough. Even though Sally is excellent at making you feel great, she’s never available when you’re having a rough time. She avoids you when you just got dumped, she won’t return your calls when your presentation as work failed to impress and got you labeled as the office idiot, and let’s not bring up those five pounds you just gained, because Sally is no where to be found. You could say that Sally is the “cheerful-stranger”. “Cheerful” describes Sally’s seductive device because that’s how she draws people in and that’s why everyone likes her and the “stranger” describes what she becomes once you’re “in” because she’s never around when you really need her.

My friend and the rest of the life coach trainees paired up and helped one another uncover their seduction devices. I didn’t understand the purpose of this but I got a free donut and an 8 oz. cup of orange juice out of it–so I was happy.

Later that evening I met up with some friends for a birthday party at the Chelsea Piers bowling alley. I’m not really a bowler; Mexicans weren’t genetically designed to bowl–it’s a fact–look it up. I hadn’t seen these friends for about six or seven months and when I arrived and looked out into the sea of familiar faces I felt loved–then I ran into Lulu while ordering a snack.

Lulu: (Holding a cup of ranch dressing) Nando! I haven’t seen you in a year.
Nando: Has it been that long?
Lulu: It has. And you’re looking good. Look at you!
Nando: Oh, thanks…
Lulu: (Interrupting me) You have a nice little tan, look at your chest–Wow! and your legs…amazing! (Takes her left index finger, dips it into the ranch dressing and then licks it off) But you have a big belly…what’s going on there? Are you on isotropic medication?
Nando: What? No. I just…
Lulu: (Interrupting me) Cause all my clients at the center are on isotropic medication and they all have huge bellies like yours.
Nando: No, Lulu. I’m not on any medica…
Lulu: (Interrupting me) Well, alright then, you work on that. Oh, are those my chicken wings over there?

And as Lulu went chasing after her chicken wings, I sat there confused. But before allowing myself to order two hamburgers and six orders of fries to deal with the pain, I realized that Lulu’s seduction device was her friendliness. She was always friendly and I’d gravitate towards her at these functions because she made me laugh and I felt comfortable with her–but I also recalled that at the last function, a year ago–she made a harsh comment about my hair and how odd it looked. Lulu was the “friendly-slap”.

Making this discovery helped me understand how Lulu operates and I no longer felt the need to order half of the menu. But then I began to wonder, “What is my seduction device?” The fact is, I draw people in with humor and the ability to tell a good story, but what did I do with people once I had them in my “web”? And it hit me, I “cut them off” in my life if they don’t do what I want them to do. I certainly had been doing that in my relationships and explains why when I get a room full of my ex-boyfriends together, they all agree on the reason it didn’t work out. (Sidebar: Don’t get the exes together that often because with enough alcohol present, it turns into a roast)

Could it be that by identifying my own seduction device (the Entertaining-Guillotine), I’d now be able to reverse my bad behaviors in dealing with men? Was this the key to unlocking the door to failed relationships? And if it was…could this mean there’s hope for me yet?

Later in the evening I overheard Lulu making people laugh yet in the same breath making harsh comments as she sucked down 1/4 pound of chicken wings which only confirmed my thoughts about her. Since identifying my own seduction device, which wasn’t too pretty, I’m exploring the world of NANDOISM more thoroughly…and who knew I could be so seductive?

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