Are You A Fake Expert?

There comes a point in time when we seek to enhance our lives by one method or another. Since we aren’t superheroes, we get creative with those enhancements. I’ve heard of people exaggerating about their sex life, others lie when it comes to their age…and me? Well, I lie about my human abilities…so I’ve been told.

Phone call

Ali: What are you up to?
Nando: I’ve been asked to be on a singles panel with the topic being, “Why am I still single?”
Ali: I can tell you why…they should’ve asked me.
Nando: It’s a “smart-people-panel”…they don’t want a ghetto-talking Pakistani on stage.
Ali: And that’s why you’re still single, you’re evil.
Nando: Anyways, it’s a great honor to have been asked to participate…it came out of the blue.
Ali: Did you lie to them about your skills?
Nando: What?
Ali: Nando, depending on the TV shows you’re watching at the time, you “take on” those abilities…like a “fake expert“.
Nando: Where do you get this from?
Ali: After watching an episode of Bravo’s Shear Genius, you claimed to “know hair” and you fried poor Diego’s hair off with that Ogilvie Home Perm.
Nando: That wasn’t my fault, how was I supposed to know his hair was that sensitive? Plus, he was the one who brought the champagne over and got me drunk and then couldn’t remember how long the solution was on his head.
Ali: What three TV shows are you currently watching?
Nando: VH1′s Tough Love, Lie to Me, and Damages.
Ali: Okay, so with Tough Love—you fooled them into thinking you’re a relationship expert?
Nando: No.
Ali: And with Lie to Me, you convinced them that could read body language and can tell if people are lying?
Nando: It’s not body language…it’s micro-expressions…on people’s faces.
Ali: And with Damages…well? Did you tell them you were an attorney?
Nando: No! But I might have mentioned that I know about the law…just a little.
Ali: Nando, you’re gonna get these people sued!
Nando: Oh shut up. And I never “claimed” I was an expert on anything. A very sexy diva who reads my blogs referred me to Nathan Seven Scott who is in charge of the panel and after meeting me and having an “in depth” conversation…he asked me to be on the panel because of my outgoing personality.
Ali: Desperation is an ugly thing.

I was asked to be on a singles panel to discuss the various reason why I believe I’m still single. The event will consist of a networking-meet/greet hour followed by the panel discussion (made up of three people) with an after party event at one of the trendiest Egyptian lounge/restaurant, Casa La Femme. The gathering proves to be a huge eclectic and diverse crowd (Gay, Straight, Black, White, Latin, and every other color) with one common denominator; single people trying to make a connection while asking themselves, “Why am I still single?”

But I began to wonder, “Have I ever misrepresented myself?” Have I claimed to be a “fake expert“? In technology, there’s always an advancement or an upgrade that outshines the previous version. Just a few days ago, I switched phones because a new operating system was out on the Blackberry which made operating my phone with the “old” system chaotic; so I changed. But as humans, can we really upgrade? Can we keep up with the times and enhance our own operating systems? We take yoga, continue our education and even enter relationships in order to enhance our lives…but in the end, when we’re all alone and looking directly into the mirror, who are we really looking at? Is it the new 2.0 version of ourselves, or is it the same person with just a few added features?

I don’t think I present myself as any other person other than who I am. Yes, I might pay for tanning sessions, dye my hair, and I can’t live without my gym and yoga classes, but that’s not really a misrepresentation…deep inside I’m Nando and that’s a constant ever-changing and evolving guy with a heap of complexities who’s willing to share them with the world. And that my friends, is the real deal.

Why Am I Still Single Video Promo:

For more info on the event click here.

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2 Comments

  • Excellent topic, Nando!

    I’ve struggled greatly with how to position myself as author of my book. It’s tricky, because it’s is an adult woman’s choose your own adventure that takes a satirical look at dating and relationship culture (advice, rules, trends). I’ve read a lot of expert dating books and material, many of which inspired my book, but ME? An expert? I dunno. It can be such an arbitrary criteria governed by no one. What makes one an expert?

    Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda is NOT an advice book. It’s humours fiction that explores culture in a fun format hopefully helping readers find some common ground.

    While I study and observe the culture and it’s trends, my only expertise is my own experience earned by living, observing, trying and failing and sharing the results and learning from my own mistakes. I know myself, and it helps me better decide which advice I’d rather take or ignore for me. I try to ask relevant questions and create or encourage existing dialogues. If people take something positive from it, great!

    Thats what I’m aiming for for me right now.

    Thanks for a great read!

    • I love your stance on this–and I can’t wait to read it. And I think
      being an “expert” is all in the eye of the beholder, and I think you got a good eye!

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