Are you feeling the pangs of dating? Are you left wondering if you’re truly undateable but not ready to commit to dating/relationship coaching? I understand, but that doesn’t mean you’re not experiencing some
frustration centered around dating, right?
Did you have an amazing first date, but they never called again?
Are you getting texts but then they flake out and never make concrete plans with you?
Is the person you’re interested in running hot + cold?
Whatever your burning question or relationship dilemma is…you need expertise advice! Your friends are a great place for support, but they aren’t always right when it comes to your dating/love life.
For a limited time only–you can ASK NANDO one question for only $.99
Click on the button below and Nando will contact you through e-mail. How easy was that? Stop the confusion + anxiety you’re feeling, and ASK NANDO.
This past weekend I was honored to be the host/MC of Single in Stilettos where several of the New York’s sexaratti were present giving their best dating, sex and relationship advice. The singles education event was organized by the lovely NYC-based Matchmaker Suzanne Oshima. Suzanne’s objective was to give single women access to all the top leaders in the dating industry at one event.
What was covered by the experts? Everything from Bombshell 101 Lessons by the Dating Goddess herself, Abiola Abrams, to Orgasm talks by our very own Luscious Lifestyle Diva, Yolanda Shoshana and we discovered our Diamond Selves with Dr. Diana Kirschner. And not only was I the host/MC of the event where I spoke about my new book Your Dating DNA but also gave two presentations: “The Ideal-Man Solution” and “How to Create the Perfect 1st date“.
Bethenny Frankel’s Skinny Girl Cocktails (twitter: @SkinnygirlCKTLS )was the main sponsor for the sexy event and they poured both Skinny Girl Sangria & Skinny Girl Margaritas which heightened the event’s sexy-factor! But Godiva Chocolates (twitter: @GodivaChoc) also worked sexy at the event by also being another luscious sponsor.
The video below gives you a little taste of what went on.
We’ve all done it–posted a status update about our partner/boyfriend online. We’ve even tweeted an occasional “I love you” but is there such a thing as over-sharing when it comes to your relationships?
Do you think in today’s society, giving a play-by-play on your relationship is okay or have we reached the saturation point?
Listen to Life Coach, Tara Padua, and I discuss “How Much is too Much When Sharing Your Relationship on Facebook?” and chime in!
I get it–every now and then, the love game sucks…big time.
This goes for those of you dating or those of you in relationships. Things don’t always go as planned. You get dumped, someone you truly cared for leaves you with no explanation, or someone you thought loved you–cheats…with your best friend…in your own bed…using the candles you picked out at Pier One…together. Bastard!
It’s all part of the circle of life–what, you didn’t think Lion King was just for children, did you? Bottom line, everyone experiences a “love-in-the-dumps” moment–everyone. (Some of us more than others, like Jennifer Lopez and George Lopez–maybe it’s just people named Lopez?) The test comes in what you do after that really counts.
That’s the you that showcases your true essence, your core character, your vulnerable side with runny mascara all over your face. Do you give up, take a break, or move forward? Sometimes it’s okay to do all three. I remember one of my love-in-the-dumps moment; I walked in on my boyfriend of two years having sex with someone I considered a friend. Walking into our apartment, something didn’t feel right, there was a strange yet familiar backpack perched near the coffee table yet no one was in the living room and when I looked across the apartment–the bedroom door was closed–which was unusual. My boyfriend peeked out of the door, then quickly shut it, yelling, “I want you out of the apartment!”
What happened next was classic story-book: I freaked out, had a panic attack and passed out. I “came to” with the guy who was sleeping with my boyfriend giving me CPR while 9-11 was being contacted. I discovered two things at that moment: 1. The guy wasn’t a bad kisser and had incredibly good breath and 2. I was stronger than I ever gave myself credit for; not only because I was able to break the door down after they had locked themselves in–but because I decided at that moment, that I was better than this and deserved a clean and honest relationship–the opposite of what I was currently experiencing. I remained single for the next five years–giving myself time to identify my part in my failed relationship–and although that wasn’t pretty, it had to happen in order to grow, learn, and forgive; things we need in order to heal when a break in our love-chain occurs.
At your next “love-in-the-dumps” moment, and it will happen, try to remember two things: 1. Fresh breath isn’t always the mark of a good man and 2. It’s not the ending…things have just begun.
Have you had a “love-in-the-dumps” moment? Are you going through one right now? How are you/did you get through it? And what did you learn? leave a comment and let’s start the discussion!
In a courtship, there comes a time when the “honeymoon” phase is over and you get to the nitty gritty part of the realtionship; personally, I like the nitty gritty because it’s a place you’ve established with your partner, gay or straight–ah hell, even a goat–that you feel comfortable in. It’s waking up in the morning and no longer rushing out of bed before they wake up to put concealer on in order to hide the bags or the dark circles that have taken up residence above your cheeks and because your partner loves you for who you are, you’re okay with it. But, there’s also another side to that comfort zone, and it’s called the mind twister.
Since the boyfriend and I are on financial budgets, and he’s only one week/payment away from paying off his $3,000 credit card debt (I paid mine off last week) we’re both keeping a tight eye of our finances like two Texas pedophile Catholic priests keeping an eye on the only blond and blue-eyed alter boy after communion. And well, last night, when going over our monthly expenses, things got a little nasty.
This morning on my way to get my Herbalife protein shake I called Cris, my bff of 26 years.
Nando: I’m so pissed at the BF right now, he was so evil to me last night.
Cris: What happened?
Nando: He asked why I was asking for $18 since the internet bill total was only $11.
Nando: Well, how dare he!
Cris: Ah, I see–you put his statement through your mind twister.
Nando: My what?
Cris: Your mind twister. It’s a communication problem that stems from filtering your partner’s/spouse’s statements through your personal mind twister — you know, twisting the things they say around in your mind until you come up with a meaning that’s usually not what they meant but that’s also drenched with insults.
Nando: You mean…
Cris: Yip, Example. My husband sees I have a new dress on and says, “Is that a new dress?” Since I’ve been using the mind twister for years, it only takes me a few seconds to filter it–so despite what he said, I hear, “Did you just spend more money?” or “Did you really need to buy another dress?” and the last one–which is always the best/worst “That must be a new dress because it doesn’t make you look fat like all your other ones.”
Nando: Wow, you’re good!
Cris: Been married for five years, it takes practice.
Nando: So you think that’s what I did?
Cris: Totally. Cause you and I both know he was only asking. I would have asked to. Why were you asking for $18 when it was only $11?
Nando: I didn’t have the internet bill with me when I met with our finance guy so I estimated that the total bill was around $32. And when I don’t know the exact bill amount, our finance guy rounds up, so he budgeted $18 each for the internet.
Cris: And what did you hear him say when he said, “Why is $11 and you’re asking for $18?
Nando: Stop stealing my money you nasty fat Mexican whore.
Cris: Oh yeah, you’re good! I didn’t get to that level until 2 years of marriage.
Nando: So now what?
Cris: You have to realize that he was only questioning the amounts. Wouldn’t you? He’s finally being responsible with his money, something that you’ve helped him discover–that’s where he was coming from. We use the mind twister because of the baggage we’re still carrying, you know that, but it’s up to you to intercept the mind twister and not take it personal. Anyone who’s met your BF knows he’d never say a thing like that.
Nando: Well, why do you still use it?
Cris: I need the leverage. I’ve had 2 kids that have ruined my body and he still has a 6-pack.
Could Cris be right? Do we all have a mind twister we filter our partner’s or spouses words through? Is that just part of human nature or is it something that we can let go, like a small purple balloon being released into the sky? I can’t help but wonder, “In a time when good relationships are as hard to tame as windy tornadoes; are we doomed into a cycle of filtering statements because of bad baggage, or are mind twisters something we can eventually untangle?”