Book Review: Can’t Think Straight by Kiri Blakeley

What happens when you’re a straight female that’s been engaged to a “straight” man for 10 years who one day finally confesses, “I’m confused about my sexuality?” Can’t Think Straight is the story of one woman’s experience when the man she was about to marry comes out of the closet– and it’s quite a roller coaster ride.

I had the pleasure of meeting Kiri Blakeley this past weekend when invited to be on Twanna Hines’ Late Sex Show centered around the topic, “Coming Out Later in Life.” (For more info on the show watch the show’s promo below)

And although our conversation got off topic several times–sitting next to Kiri for an hour–I understood and related to the pain she went through dealing with the deceit and having to grief the relationship–on various levels. The story gets more complex when Kiri does some snooping around on their shared computer and discovers that “Aaron” — who’s name has been changed to protect his identity, has actually been cheating on her with men for the last two years.

Kiri explained that her personal style in life and in print is to come off as witty, sarcastic when dealing with tough situations which I was relived to hear because if you didn’t know this ahead of time, certain statements in her book come off as homophobic and out of touch with the gay community as a whole by using gay stereotypes when confronting Aaron and his new lifestyle. But what do you expect from a woman who has just discovered her beau and life partner might have just put her health and well-bring at risk?

And just to clarify, Kiri is not homophobic and throughout her experience, has a gay confident that she turns to during this time. Can’t Think Straight is Kiri’s personal experience of what happens when you send your finance to the dry cleaners one day and he comes back gay.

Kiri Blakeley was a writer for Forbes magazine for ten years and has a regular column on Forbes.com. She has profiled celebrities such as Tyra Banks, Sandra Bullock, Padma Lakshmi, and Heidi Klum, and written about directors such as Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight) and Phyllida Lloyd (Mamma Mia!). She graduated from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism.

Kiri is giving aways 2 copies of her book on Nandoism.

To qualify:

1. Leave a comment here on how you think you’d handle going through something similar (and include your twitter ID if you have one).

2. Copy, Paste & Tweet this out: I just entered the @nandoism & @KiriBlakeley I Can’t Think Straight http://bit.ly/gJBGQL book #giveaway!

 

UPDATE: 4/15

Congrats to the winners of the book #giveaway :

MisRiss & CAN723 — be on the lookout for your copy of Can’t Think Straight.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Be Sociable, Share!

14 thoughts on “Book Review: Can’t Think Straight by Kiri Blakeley

  • April 11, 2011 at 6:46 am
    Permalink

    @LNBII says: If I were the woman in a situation like this, I’d definitely be hurt and pissed! But after a while I would try to see this from his point of view. Even though it seems like there are more people okay with the LGBT community, they are still alot of homophobic lunatics out there. And so it was probably easier for him to just stay in the closet and life his true gay life behind closed doors.

    Reply
    • April 14, 2011 at 5:29 am
      Permalink

      It’s a major process to come out of something like this and share your story.
      Getting to know Kiri, I was able to relate to her on several levels except for one–because
      I don’t know what it’s like to go through her “I’m straight now I’m gay” experience with her finance.
      The book tells the whole story.

      Come back on Friday when I announce who wins a copy of the book!

      Reply
  • April 13, 2011 at 9:25 am
    Permalink

    Interesting subject. I’d read the book. But let’s face it, when politicans call homosexuality a public health risk as deadly as smoking can you blame a guy for trying to conform? It does make me wonder though. Is Bi-sexuallity more like second hand smoke? Hmmmmmmmmm.

    Reply
    • April 14, 2011 at 5:16 am
      Permalink

      Homosexuality as second hand smoke–lovely. So that means I’m a cancer-giving guy. Who knew?
      Thanks for commenting and come back on Friday when I announce the winners.

      Reply
    • April 15, 2011 at 1:08 pm
      Permalink

      You Are a WINNER! Be on the look out for your copy!

      Reply
  • April 13, 2011 at 2:24 pm
    Permalink

    I would LOVE to read this book. I think Kiri’s story parallels with a lot of other relationship issues that many people face (ie. just overall not being able to reveal who you really are on any level). Although this is an extreme case, it’d still be interesting to read about how she handled it. Any copies for your fans?

    Reply
    • April 14, 2011 at 5:10 am
      Permalink

      I think this story is the granddaddy of “not revealing who you are–although it’s through Kiri’s eyes, it gives us
      the ability to relate to her. Thanks for commenting.

      And yes, I’m randomly giving away a copy THIS FRIDAY–so stay tuned,
      you might be a winner!

      Reply
      • April 15, 2011 at 1:09 pm
        Permalink

        You are a WINNER! Be on the lookout for your COPY!

        Reply
  • April 13, 2011 at 3:13 pm
    Permalink

    wow, sounds like an interesting book to read. At least she had a gay confident to confide in when she was faced with this life changing experience. I can’t even imagine her shock, her pain, when she found out the truth.

    Reply
    • April 14, 2011 at 5:07 am
      Permalink

      Listen, boring–this book is not, and if you can still call on your gay bff after having
      something like this happen to you–you’re good in my book.
      Kiri’s story is a must read.

      Thanks for popping over. I need to pop over to your blog for some photo fun!

      Reply
  • April 13, 2011 at 4:22 pm
    Permalink

    I am so excited to read this book! I actually went through a very similar experience and its so so so refreshing to know I am not alone. I suppose I am lucky in that we had only been dating for a few years and were not engaged, but the feelings of grief and shattered trust definitely remain. The relationship ended over two years ago, and I had to move 500 miles, but the feelings of inadequacy and shame are residual. I think what makes this type of breakup more intense and shattering than a “regular” one is that while all breakups alter your perception of what the future will bring, few destroy your image of the past quite like this type. Not only did I know that he would not love me in the future, I had to come to terms with the fact that he never loved me (in a romantic fashion) and that really rocked me. Thank you so much to Kiri for sharing her experience, and allowing me to feel a little less alone.

    Reply
    • April 14, 2011 at 5:06 am
      Permalink

      What I like about the book-or any book–is that the author gets to tell their story in their words as they lived it. And Kiri
      does an excellent job in telling us how she felt. I don’t know what it feels like to go through this–I think it’s a brave story to share.
      When other’s might hide or cover up the shame–there’s beauty in sharing your story.

      Kiri and I talked after doing the talk show and realized that her “break up” had many layers and I was able to relate to her on several of them,
      except for one–which is the one you can relate to.

      Thanks Mari for sharing and commenting. I hope things are good for you now.

      Reply
  • April 14, 2011 at 10:49 am
    Permalink

    My uncle was married for 20 years and had 4 kids before he came out of the closet — so Kiri should consider herself lucky her beau unveiled so quickly! Still, sounds like an interesting read — I’d love to compare my uncle’s experience to the story in the book.

    Reply
  • April 18, 2011 at 8:17 pm
    Permalink

    Thank you all for reading about my book, and commenting! I hope those who won the book email me at kiri@kiriblakeley.com about it. And visit me at kiriblakeley.com. Thanks to Nando! He rocks.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge