As an NLP Life/Success Coach I’m always on the look out for what my clients are truly saying to me and what’s behind what they say. It may come out like, “I can’t take that action because that’s not who I am,” but what they’re really saying it, “Fear is getting the best of me and I’m scared to take that action!” Or they might say, “I don’t have time to do my homework,” but what’s really behind their words are, “It’s out of my comfort zone to spend time on myself and homework is just all about me, I’m a mom, a dad, a wife, an employee so I’m always doing things for others.”
Letting go of emotional pain is hard — especially because some of us aren’t even aware that we are in pain–we’ve just gotten used to things being sad and miserable and we can’t see beyond that. In fact, any other way to live life isn’t in our future because we have become so comfortable with how things are and we truly believe that’s the way things must stay–for us, at least. But that’s just not reality. Why would your reality involve pain, being broke, and miserable? Why you?
Why do married people cheat? I was doing research on the topic and found all sorts of reasons, theories, techniques, and excuses. Just do a quick google search on “why married people cheat” and the internet is a plethora of information–and although some of it might be true, what’s also true is the hurt it causes and leaves behind.
When a person cheats, there is a calculated and secret component that some get off on. And that’s the part, when the affair is discovered, that hurts the most. Jim McGreevey, who declared himself a Gay American, after coming out in a press conference (only after the threat of blackmail came into play) later revealed that while his wife was in the hospital giving birth to one of their children — he was out with his lover having the time of his life. #CheatersLife
Another concept of why people cheat is sexploration: meaning sexual activity with no emotional component or connection. This is the concept of “it didn’t mean anything” and it was pure desire and animal instinct. Those words don’t make the pain any less potent, but there you have it — a reason for infidelity.
I posted something on Facebook and a close friend of mine replied and it grabbed my attention because her response was hilarious but very telling of what she was going through. Gifs are powerful, especially hers because it had a little duck being dragged around by a merry-go-round with his feathers being disbursed throughout the scene. Think DUCK EXPLOSION! I texted her and was on a call with her an hour later–there were deep issues happening with her and her husband. (Been there, done that)