My husband is madly in love with Matt Dallas and Blue Hamilton, and not just because they are sexy gay men, but he actually loves their lifestyle–or the one they publicly display at least–not only do they showcase husband fun in their youtube video series Matt and Blue, they have their 2-year-old son, Crow, in tow–which adds to the fascination.
Besides sometimes catching a glimpse of one of them in sexy underwear, my husband of six years is now obsessed with the notion of kids. And I blame Matt and Blue and their gay husband video series. Now that gay men or gay couples can adopt children, I’m looking for advice on the topic for the sake of my marriage. German truly won’t stop talking about adopting a child. Oh, we have a video series too–but you won’t catch us in undies. (You’re disappointed, I’m sure!)
Let’s get one thing clear — I’m not a marriage expert. Nope. I won’t wear that hat. But I will wear the hat of someone who’s been in a relationship for four years and still loves (almost) every minute of being around German. Let’s face it, we’re all human. Mothers need space from their kids, kids need space from there mothers, teachers feel the need to break free from their students and employees all need vacations away from there bosses — so why can’t we be honest when it comes to marriage? GIVE ME A BREAK!
And now, let’s circle back. German isn’t my best friend, I have one of those, and she’s had the title since the 3rd grade, so I can’t snatch it away from her but the title my husband has and has had for several years is “he’s my favorite person to be around.” He really is. Those of you that have met him know he’s not a flashy guy that demands attention nor does he crave being the center of attention, instead, people gravitate towards him because he’s instantly lovable, sweet, endearing and nurturing. He’s a creative guy with a successful photography business working with some of the top New York City dating coaches and Match-makers. And because I believe life is a school in disguise, these are the things I’ve learned by being married for 3 months. Being married is a great place to be, for us.
The 10 Things I’ve Learned from Being Married
1. I’ve learned that my husband isn’t my BFF but he’s my favorite person to be around.
2. I’ve learned that my husband and I need time apart but we need even more time together.
3. I’ve learned that I’ll try harder not to make him my “everything” because it’s not fair for him — that’s why I’ve cultivated other relationships in my life.
4. It’s my job to make him laugh at least once a day.
5. I’ll respect him by listening to him when he’s having a rough day with no judgement (that’s a work in progress).
6. I won’t fly off the handle when he gets mad at me (because he only does this once every 6 months).
7. I’m not the boss of him and I need to remind myself of this daily…sometimes hourly, even when I want him to come to bed so we can snuggle and he’s watching Jennifer Lopez videos on youtube in the living room.
8. I’ve learned he’s got so much more love to give and since we’ve gotten Leona, our new puppy, she’s the perfect addition to his heart.
9. I’ve learned that he is the calm to my craziness and I need that calm in my life.
10. I’ve learned that when I said “I do” that he also meant it and I will cherish February 18th, 2014 for the rest of my life.