What defines a relationship? What defines a healthy relationship? I’m sure the definitions will vary as do the rules/guides that accompany the partnership. I can only speak from my first person experience. And in my last relationship, I was very dependent on the other person to “make me happy” and that meant I expected them to do some: mind reading, carry the financial weight of the relationship, and love me unconditionally without getting it in return. That relationship failed.
Now, being in a relationship for 3.9 years I feel like I’ve not only grown as a partner but I can honestly say I feel like I’m an awesome fiancé. And here are some of my learnings.
- Take care of your teeth
- Have sexy time!
- Exercise both your mind & your body
- Spend time alone
- Pay for things on a equal basis, not equally (when the money-making ratio is even, then you can do a 50/50 split — if it’s not, make adjustments)
- Figure out what chores you’re best at and are willing to do & do them — have them do the same (this is not a 50/50 split either)
- Take care of another when you’re sick
- Remind each other of important dates, appointments, gatherings (don’t sit there waiting for them to mess it up–remind them)
- Spend time together (it should still be fun to meet up and just “be together”)
- Make them laugh
- Hand them a tissue if you do make them cry — then work it out
- Encourage them
- Learn to compromise
- Brag about them in front of others — and mean it!
- Give them space
- Remind yourself of the relationship rules you two have established — and keep to them
- Make them laugh some more
- Remind them of their bad qualities over and over again — I’m sure they’re already kicking themselves over it on a daily basis
- Make them feel guilty over mistakes they’ve made — let it go
- Say “I told you so.” That’s a phrase that doesn’t take love to the next level
- Wait until things are bad to “have a talk” — you should always be talking
- Put them last on your priority list
- Forget being in a relationship is only a percentage of wat makes you YOU — it’s not your entire IDENTITY!
- Brag about your relationship on social media
- Forget to have sexy time!
- Talk behind their back
- Let them guilt you into anything
- Forget your friends — but if they are anti-relationship, be wary!
- Lose yourself in the process
I’m sure these are ever-changing, but these are a good start. And I’m positive I have left several things off — feel free to include them in the comments below.