I live in New York and riding the subway is a way of life.
Finding a seat on the subway can be the biggest challenge of the day and when an available seat opens up– a regular person would jump at the opportunity and sit down, right? Well, a New Yorker doesn’t–unless their Asian, they just don’t care. (insert racist laughter) But a REAL New Yorker will spot the seat and then scan. (I call is the 3 S’s–spot seat & scan) We scan the seat with this in mind, “Is there liquid squishing around on the seat, is that why no one else is sitting there? Is something schmeared on it upon closer review? Is the person next to the open space: smelly, a pervert, or so overweight that they spill into that empty space?
Personally, I’d rather sit next to a pervert, but that’s just cause I was raised in Texas–but I digress. This is the process that goes on every time we enter a train. Exhausting, right?
This AM, as usual, I did my spot, scan and sat down. Eventually, a seat between me and another passenger became available; it was prime real estate because we both appeared to be decent human beings, the seat was dry and neither one of us spilled over into the empty space–thanks HerbaLife!
When the train made it’s way to the next stop, a large crowd entered the car, and a tall thin man armed with a briefcase, a backpack, an iPad, and his winter gear was “scanning” the seat; he went for it. I knew the routine, he’d plop down and push the both of us–on either side of him–a little over while settling into his seat.
To my surprise–he positioned himself as if ready to sit down, then stuck out his rear–touching the seat with his buttocks and took a sliding approach to occupy the seat. I have never seen this before. I applauded his ingenuity. Not only was he able to fit in perfectly, he did it without plopping himself down and disrupting those of us trying to enjoy a quiet morning commute on the train.
What was the response? We made more room for him because he was considerate, creative and courteous. Otherwise, we would have rearranged and expanded ourselves to make his seating situation extremely unpleasant. Don’t judge–I learned the ways of New York 10 years ago and you can’t teach an old Mexican new tricks–take George Lopez for example.
Imagine that; just when you think you know the process of something you’ve been doing for so long–someone comes around and shows you a different way. And I wasn’t even expecting it.
How does this apply to dating? You show up for a date, you know the process and then you measure the results by waiting for the second date or not. And then you move onto the next date, and the next and the next. Why? Why do that to yourself? Don’t you deserve a more heightened level of dating? Well instead of waiting for the guy next to you to change it–how about YOU change the process? How about you shake things up in a way that’ll quickly let the other person know, “Woah, this date is gonna rock! I’ve never dated this this before!
If this is an online date–you already know a little something about them from their profile–take advantage of that. You see they like yoga, or mention mediation–show up with a lotus and break the ice and say, I’m intrigued by your high interest in yoga–thought you might like this. Or, they have photos of them on a Mexican vacation in their profile–show up and in your sexiest voice say, “Hola, que placeer es conocerte hoy!” Sounds cheesy but you have just changed the process–take it further and show up with a piñata–just beware you might gets looks on the train walking around with a donkey made of streamers on your left and a stick in your right–but, you break the dull process and set the mood.
On your last date, how could you or the other person have broken the dating process?