Relationship goals vary from couple to couple but one thing every grouping shares is that they want their relationship to work. Some people want their relationship goal to be drama free, while others would like more adventure. Yet, if I were to ask you if you’ve discussed these “relationship goals” with your partner in detail…many of you would look me straight in the eye and say, “Are you crazy?” Why would I discuss that with them?
Instantly improve your relationship by improving your listening skills
If you were to stop 10 couples on the street…anywhere, the response would be the same, “My partner doesn’t listen to me!” And they’re not referring to taking out the garbage or some other chore around the house (I mean, that too, but)–they are referring to active listening skills.
The issue: I’ve overheard many singles say, “Oh, I’m in a dating rut.” But, I’m not sure what that means. I’m not sure if it’s an accurate statement that anyone other than a Sex and the City Character should ever say.
When I was single, dating was an adventure and yes you go on several dates and meet with the racists, the cheapskates, or even a republican or two–but it never felt like a rut.
The redirection: I’m sure at work you don’t claim to have ruts when you have to work alongside the racist, the cheapskate or the republican–you just work around them. You can’t go to your boss and say, I refuse to work with Andy, the project manager, because he has bad breathe and he doesn’t split the lunch tab equally. Unless you have a secret trust fund, you just shut the hell up, don’t get too close to Andy’s mouth and hold your breathe a lot–and strategically spill Altoids on Andy’s desk.
The Fact: The reason people claim to be in a dating rut is that, they’re stuck. And they’re stuck on perfection. You’re stuck in a cycle of bad dates. You’re stuck on the idea of the perfect person. You’re stuck on the perfect date. You’re stuck on the perfect _________________(fill in the blank).
And it’s okay. You will get unstuck by keeping it going. Keeping YOU going. We’ve all been there–so why do YOU get to skip this part of dating? You don’t. Welcome to stuck.
My advice: Don’t “rut out” on dating; instead, just work around it–the great part is that you never have to date them again–don’t you wish that were the same case with your coworkers?
Are you feeling the pangs of dating? Are you left wondering if you’re truly undateable but not ready to commit to dating/relationship coaching? I understand, but that doesn’t mean you’re not experiencing some
frustration centered around dating, right?
Did you have an amazing first date, but they never called again?
Are you getting texts but then they flake out and never make concrete plans with you?
Is the person you’re interested in running hot + cold?
Whatever your burning question or relationship dilemma is…you need expertise advice! Your friends are a great place for support, but they aren’t always right when it comes to your dating/love life.
For a limited time only–you can ASK NANDO one question for only $.99
Click on the button below and Nando will contact you through e-mail. How easy was that? Stop the confusion + anxiety you’re feeling, and ASK NANDO.
We once thought that having a mental disorder was due to being possessed by evil spirits–then it wasn’t.
We once thought that certain class of people should be slaves–then we didn’t.
We once thought that witches were among us in Salem–then we found out it was just the yeast.
We once thought that being born with a disfigurement was a punishment from God–then it wasn’t.
We once thought Kathy Lee Gifford was the shiznit–then we didn’t–now we do again.
What about your dating life/relationships will you look back at and say, “Oh, I guess that wasn’t it after all?”
The fact is, with all the above theories, there was a certain amount of “crowd think” at play. Which is the simplest form of giving away the ability to think for yourself and conform to everyone else’s way, instead. When you go against the grain and do what’s right for you, you get a Steve Jobs, a Bill Gates, a Mark Zuckerberg way of thinking.Mistakes will always be made–that’s what makes us human, but do we learn the lesson better if the mistake was made from your own thought process vs crowd think?
When it comes to dating–who’s rules are you following? No sex until the 3rd date? Or Sex is okay after the 2nd hour?
My question stands: What about your dating life/relationships will you look back at and say, “Oh, I guess that wasn’t it after all?”