How to fix your relationship with inspiration isn’t something we think about yet it’s something important especially if you’re a creative. What defines a creative person? The beauty of being creative is as long you think you are — you are!
Whether your creativity comes in the form of a glue gun and pipe cleaners, a paintbrush or construction paper–pay attention.
As creative people, we believe that inspiration comes in waves and can’t be controlled, and if that’s the truth, we should certainly celebrate it when inspiration arrives, right? But what if we’ve been burned by inspiration?
Several struggle with the next project waiting for creativity and inspiration to hit only to be disappointed when we complete our masterpiece; art, book, blog, yet, success didn’t get the memo and your book goes unpublished, your artwork never sells or that amazing blog only gets read by you, your mom and a random person who came to your page because of a misspelled word in their search.
My Husband is Always Checking out Gay Guys
If you’re a straight woman and your husband is always checking out gay guys, and it bothers you–you might have a problem on your hands. But first, let’s lay down some foundation before we all jump to conclusions. Because of rigid defined stereotypes of what masculinity is and what it should look like, men are lumped into a space where complimenting another man on clothes, style or looks is out of the norm. The first thought is, “He must be gay.” But the reality is with the huge metrosexual craze finally dying down and the lumbersexual phase being ushered out, maybe we’ve gotten to a point where it’s okay to check guys out? We know that sexuality is fluid and not 100% one way or the other.
Have you ever had a friend who disappointed you? I mean, truly hurt you to your core? Fighting with your best friend is normal — but what’s not normal is wanting to cut ties without having examined the situation in its entirety. Remember, there are always 3 sides to a story. Yours, theirs and the truth. I never understood this better than this year. I learned not to point fingers but to be open enough to see that my version wasn’t what truly played out. I may have looked at a situation through a lens of disappointment, hurt or anger which means I added extra drama to the issue. I know I’m not alone out here in doing this.
You can take this advice and apply it to your spouse, friends, or colleagues. It will work in any situation but there is a level of wanting to work it through on your behalf in order for this to work. If you’re looking for ways to play victim or point all fingers at them — this is not for you. This is for real people seeking real solutions on dealing with your anger and your spouse/husband.
1. Have compassion and realize that they are probably kicking themselves for the exact same reason you’re mad. It might not come as natural to remember certain likes or several of your dislikes. Or it might be that they are careless with money and are truly trying hard to budget. Realize that if there is an area they are struggling with, they may be afraid or insecure to ask for help since you slip into anger mode so easily. Don’t excuse their behavior but try a little compassion–it will go a long way. Besides, don’t you want the same in return? You’re not perfect. Ouch!
2. Take a step back and ask, is this really the issue? Many times we lash out in situations and we’ve been bubbling with anger or resentment for days, weeks, even years. Get to the bottom of things. Are the dishes in the sink really the issue or is it that you feel disrespected because you’ve explained how this is bothersome and you still encounter a cup and dirty spoon once or twice a month? Uncovering the root will help with resolution–but it takes some self examination and self awareness, you can do it. You’d want them to also do this instead of going all Tyra Banks on you for eating the last Nestle ice cream crunch bar.
3. Realize there is a price of admission in relationships. In the real world, there is no perfect person and there is no “settling down” without “settling for.” Come to realize that you both have flaws and deal with them. Is he the sweetest, caring, and loving person who just happens to leave his shoes all over the apartment? Deal with it. Is he always there for you when you need someone and has your back no matter what, yet leaves dishes in the sink? Oh well. (Notice I’ve thrown in dishes in the sink twice? Sorry, babe) In the real world of relationships there is no fairy tale ending, just the one where two people put in work to make it another day. Some days are fun and amazing while others may be dreadful and full of yucky stuff. You just have to decide what’s the price of admission in your relationship and the sooner you do, the faster you can get on with your fun times.
Let’s get one thing clear — I’m not a marriage expert. Nope. I won’t wear that hat. But I will wear the hat of someone who’s been in a relationship for four years and still loves (almost) every minute of being around German. Let’s face it, we’re all human. Mothers need space from their kids, kids need space from there mothers, teachers feel the need to break free from their students and employees all need vacations away from there bosses — so why can’t we be honest when it comes to marriage? GIVE ME A BREAK!