My husband is madly in love with Matt Dallas and Blue Hamilton, and not just because they are sexy gay men, but he actually loves their lifestyle–or the one they publicly display at least–not only do they showcase husband fun in their youtube video series Matt and Blue, they have their 2-year-old son, Crow, in tow–which adds to the fascination.
Besides sometimes catching a glimpse of one of them in sexy underwear, my husband of six years is now obsessed with the notion of kids. And I blame Matt and Blue and their gay husband video series. Now that gay men or gay couples can adopt children, I’m looking for advice on the topic for the sake of my marriage. German truly won’t stop talking about adopting a child. Oh, we have a video series too–but you won’t catch us in undies. (You’re disappointed, I’m sure!)
I’m not against adoption, I in fact, am adopted so I understand the wonders and beautiful outcome of adopting but the fear still remains.
62% of children adopted privately are placed with the adoptive family when they are newborns or less than one year old.
88% of adoptive parents describe themselves as a “happy” couple, while 83% of non-adoptive parents describe themselves as a “happy” couple.”
Adoption Reading Statistic: Nearly 3 out of every 4 adopted children ages 0-5 are read to or sang to every day.
Home/Neighborhood Adoption Statistics
- Almost half of privately adopted children are the only child living in the home.
- Adopted children are more likely to live in neighborhoods that are safe, that have good amenities and are in good physical condition than are non-adopted children.
HOW I FEEL
FEARS OF ADOPTING: Knowing what to do, how to handle their heartbreak (If it’s a girl). What do to when they do the opposite of what I ask–like becoming a lawyer and not a circus clown (if it’s a boy). Making enough money to afford the child. What if the kid doesn’t like me, like really doesn’t like me? What if I don’t like the child? Do you know how many things I have taken back and returned in my lifetime?
What if I become one of those parents I dislike that only yells at their kid? What if I become one of those parents that lets their child get away with anything? Too much discipline? Not enough? Can I spank? I was spanked. Can I threaten a child with no vacation to Miami Beach this summer? What about camp? I’m Mexican, we never went to camp–what do I know about summer camp?
LOOKING FORWARD TO ADOPTING: I’m thinking I might get a few hugs & kisses–but I’m not sure because getting Leona was supposed to guarantee me getting some affection and that’s turned out wrong. I guess the idea of hearing someone call me daddy, seeing them smile and hearing them laugh. The idea of me influencing a little human and cheering them on.
I know my fears are trivial but they are real. My husband, on the other hand, seems to think that love and love alone will make everything ok. It’s not a topic I take lightly and I do struggle with it. What age should we adopt? I honestly don’t want a crying infant in the night. I know that for a fact. And I guess I can ask for that since I’m adopting, right? Is there like a take out menu to choose from?
Now I’ll research what classes we need in order to adopt. If it’s anything like the copywriting course I took from MediaBistro a while back where I didn’t understand a thing and the take-home booklet was confusing, I don’t see this faring too well. In the meantime, my husband can get his kid-fix from Matt and Blue. (And if anyone has connections and can get me a conversation with Matt Dallas and Blue Hamilton – please let me know!)
Halloween Episode of Matt and Blue Video Series
How many of you are parents?
How do you know if you’re ready or kids?
Leave your comment and let’s discuss.