A while back there was a huge movement claiming that men are from mars and women from Venus. I say, put your gravity-gear n and make an unexpected landing on Earth. We’re from the same place, but we see things different and we should celebrate some of those differences and in some cases learn to deal with them. When it comes to dating, there are different approaches; some date for fun, others for the sex, and a few do it to cure the loneliness and get a relationship out of it. No matter what your motivation is, if you’re male–there are a few things you should know, the three things women lie to you about–take it from your Gay Best Friend.
1. Their Age/Weight. Women have it hard. They still get paid less then less and they have to wear Spanx–that alone should give them a free card to lie about a few things right? And they do. Mostly about their age and weight although the Cougar epidemic explains that an older, mature woman stands proud and tall when asked about her age, despite all the Oil of Olay she shovels on. And the bottom line is, age and weight shouldn’t weigh heavy when dating–no pun intended. Men, when you’re out on a date and take out your mental check list of what your ideal woman should or shouldn’t be like and the woman you’re currently with meets every single item on your list except the age requirement, and you decide to blow her off, what chances will you ever have in truly being happy? Have you ever considered what she’s checking off on her list? When dating, we should have an idea of what we like and who we’re looking for, but when we get too rigid on every single quality, we’re letting the shopper’s mentality take over. You know, why pears at this market when there’s a possibility that the market down the block might have more appealing pears and at a better price. I don’t blame women for lying. (Note: Not all women lie on this issue–so this doesn’t apply to them) When it comes to dating, we should allow some of the qualities we’re looking for in a person to blossom.
2. Their Sexual Partners; and it’s okay. Women have long been victims of the “slut trap” which is being called a tramp, easy, or loose when she’s openly admitted to having several sexual partners. Men are held to a different standard which since this is the year 2010, should be annihilated. The divide on how many men a women sleeps with compared to the women men have slept with is absurd. And there shouldn’t be any shame attached to the number either. It’s no one’s business what the count is and some how in the dating world, it’s a standard question that’s asked early on while trying to establish a connection. That line of questioning pulls a couple apart, and serves no purpose unless the person is currently sleeping with several people while dating you. As a society, our sexual past comes up to haunt us only if you allow it to. This is one situation where we should adopt a military stance to the question of sexual partners, “Don’t ask, don’t tell”. But just in case you do ask a women, it seems that one should multiple the respond by three. And why should a women limit her partners? According to the most recent Durex Sex Survey, achieving orgasm is the the key element in sexual satisfaction and 48% surveyed report usually orgasming when having sex. Globally, twice as many men (64%) as women regularly have orgasms. That proves that women need twice as many partners–rock on with the girl power, ladies!
3. You’re the best lover she’s ever had. Who says women aren’t team players. Every good coach knows that you encourage the quarterback even when he hasn’t made a touch down during the entire season. When a woman says you’re the best, be afraid, be very afraid and then run out to get the latest copy of The Joy of Sex or at least Your Woman and You: How to Sexually Please Your Woman in the Bedroom and Beyond. One of the great qualities in women is that they see the big picture. So your penis is small, you have a good job. So you can’t last longer than five minutes, that’s a great smile. And even if you can’t mimic John Holmes in the bedroom, those mushroom omelets you whip up after sex are so delicious and high in protein. Men, I only have one thing to say to you, “Get over it”. I lied, I also have another, learn to recognize the three signs. One, when she prefers you in the kitchen instead of the bedroom. Two, when she leaves an episode of Gray’s Anatomy on while you’re “doing the deed”. And three, when she pulls out the Hercules 3000 with rotating heads to “help” you out. But it’s okay, you also have to see the big picture, and that’s that she’s with you and wants to share certain parts of her life with you. (And other parts she shares with the Hercules 3000) According to 2003 survey conducted by Durex, 48% of women have faked an orgasm. Deal with it.
Men, what do you think? Ladies, what other “lies” did I leave out? Leave a comment! Tune in tomorrow for 3 things Men lie to Women about on the 1st date!