When dating, there are surefire ways to tell when a man’s into you, from the sexy glances, the flirty smiles, to the noticeable erections. How do we spot these so easily? Is it because we’re looking for them? You know, they say you attract the same energy you put out. The flip side of that coin would be not wanting to know if someone was not really into us. We remain blind to the situation, right? But how can you tell? How can you be sure, you’re asking. Don’t you women have a Gay? You know, a gay friend who will set you straight? (No pun intended) Well, just in case you’re Grace without her Will, or Carrie sans Stanford, I’ll be your temporary Gay and fill you in on a little secret when it comes to men–the fire is either burning hot and strong or it’s not. It’s not rocket science, hell, it’s plain and simple.
5 signs he’s not into you.
5. You’re the one always initiating contact. It’s been a week since the first date, maybe even longer and you’re still the one initiating contact. He responds each time, but still, you wonder, “Why won’t he call or txt first?” He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or just doesn’t want to deal with the drama. Some people go nuts when you tell them you don’t feel the same way–after that first date and men learn that maybe, you’ll just get the hint and fade away…like Paris Hilton’s singing career.
4. Dates are always short or interrupted. I have a friend who’s dating a guy who always has an emergency. From their aunt having a heart attack, to the neighbor being stalked to a work-related item. And like clockwork, her dates are always cut short. Something is super fishy there, but one thing at a time. If your time together never happens…move on, and quickly! You want to be a priority in someone’s life and if these setbacks are always occurring–you don’t need the drama of it. What is this, Grey’s Anatomy?
3. Doesn’t introduce you to his friends. 7 weeks and 5 days later and you still haven’t met any of his friends? He’s either just into the sex or there’s no long term longevity in his head about you. Sister, it just ain’t gonna happen. You can convince yourself otherwise, but I myself dated a guy for awhile who would always tell me the great fun he had with his friends, but never introduced me. Child, I just wasn’t his gay cup of tea. Learn from me, if you haven’t met a friend yet, after a month–run, Forrest, run!
2. Your romantic gestures are never appreciated. You packed a picnic. So what? You remembered his favorite color and surprised him with a tie. He didn’t even crack a smile. You performed the perfect mouth-to-penis therapy and he didn’t even dust your knees off? Girl, are you waiting for a brick house to fall on your head and transport you to Oz? These thoughtful gestures should earn you the proper recognition and not have you making up excuses as to why he didn’t celebrate them. It’s time to keep it moving.
1. You’re not having sex. I don’t care if it’s the Pope you’re dating–if it has a penis and it hasn’t tried to attack you after a few dates–something’s wrong. We’re just programmed that way. I think Einstein explained it in his theory of erection or something like that. Ever heard of the saying, “waiting for my ship to come in”? Well, honey, you’re just a shrimp boat floating in his stream until he meets the the USS Marry Me. In other words, you’re his love-back up. He’s using you to pass the time. And sex doesn’t come into play because he figures you’ll get more attached and get more dramatic when he eventually calls it off. I tell you, a man’s penis is his pride and joy and we will use that sucker until it falls off!
Great signs and all true. I always believe if they aren’t sleeping with you, they are sleeping with someone else.
I have a gay (he is the Will to my Grace), except that his love advice doesn’t work in straight world. According to him, “straight men don’t make any fucking sense.” He is really good at dressing me though.
.-= coyote rose´s last blog ..Rejection and other things i suck at =-.
Coyote Rose, you are one hot mama!
Thanks for sharing. Oooh, I’m working on a project with Girls and their Gays–would love to
ask you a few questions–yeah? Let me know. Are you are twitter?
You can ask me any questions you want. The twitter thing is a joke right? since you follow me on twitter already.
.-= coyote rose´s last blog ..Rejection and other things i suck at =-.
5. Initiating contact won’t always mean he’s interested in the person you are, unless you count his incessant booty calls as initiating contact.
4. As for “Date … Interrupted,” what if he’s a doctor or a passionate ethnic man? Both just need to jet.
3. Not all of us consider the people we often hang out with friends enough to introduce a potential boyfriend to. What if he’s not the type to seek approval from friends? I, personally, find that refreshing. Friends, unintentionally or not, influence our judgment, which might kill in the cradle a blissful relationship.
2. If your romantic gestures come from a genuine place in your heart, you don’t need appreciation for them. It’d be like a mother reminding her kids, till her dying day, how much she feels unappreciated for giving them life! Maybe he’s the type to keep the best for last, and ask for your hand? As for performing CPR on his salt cane (why does everybody call it sugar cane?), if you do it just to please him, then it’ll feel like a porn star doing it for a paycheck.
1. The connotation behind not having sex depends on the culture the guy is from. While most men are sex-starved creatures (mind you, even dogs have only one mating season a year), some men prefer not to bed the girl until something official (meeting the parents, an engagement/wedding ring, …) ties them.
What if he loves her too much to transgress her body? I think Sex and the City did mess up our concept of platonic, yet fun, dating. Even Samantha in that show was nothing but a closeted hopeless romantic.
.-= Wilmaryad´s last blog ..Joan Rivers Guide to a Happy Marriage For New Brides- Aging Wives and Women in Love =-.
I think we live in totally different cultures. If the person you like never calls you.
There’s something wrong. It shows they have no real interest in you–why should you always be chasing them?
I believe in 50/50 when you’re involved in any relationship whether that’s with a boyfriend, parent or friend.
Date interrupted: If you are comfortable “not dating” the person you are dating–then roll with it baby.
I know for this Mexican, if I’m into you, I want to spend time with you and guess what? Eventually,
not spending time with you will make me resent you. Why cause myself drama when I can move on
and look for someone who’s time is equally invested? Have you dated much?
Romantic Gestures: If someone doesn’t appreciate what you do for them, why continue?
Sweetie, if I give you a bowl of cherries and you dump them in the garbage–guess what? Big daddy isn’t gonna
stick around much longer. It’s strange to me how you justify all these behaviors–which leads me to believe
that you either have all these qualities or you are used to someone not openly being there for you.
Not having sex. yeah, totally cultural. Sex is a beautiful thing and Sex and the City didn’t convert my believes in the matter,
God did. Sex, to me, is to share another person,experience the intimacy of their soul, to connect with them on another level.
It’s am amazing thing! And if you’re not doing it–well, child–he’s not doing it with you.
I appreciate your comments–and I’m sure my do to–but yeah, culture breeds different reactions. I’ve dated several
Middle Eastern men and your responses are drenched with their religious values that even they ignored when having sex with me
cause child, Allah doesn’t always beat an erection!
Yeah, Nando, I second your response.
.-= Zia Zitella´s last blog ..The Date Application =-.
OMG! Preach Nandito! This is why women stay with jerks and settle for less. Men are simple. They show you who they are plain as day, the jerks are successful because women rationalize their actions. No honey, he don’t want you. Keep it moving. No more what if’s….after a while you’re just making a fool of yourself! Gauge the situation and wisen up! The funny part about this post is I have done ALL of this, every single last one, and for the reasons Nando listed, to MEN I didn’t like. Amazing!
.-= Dash´s last blog ..The stupid BS some guys do =-.
I haven’t dated much. I’m a nymph from heaven whose umbilical cord and penis are one. I’m teasing, Nando; I’m not a nymph.
You got a point about not dating the guy you’re dating. Is saving a life not more important than a date, though? You know too well we’re not talking the guy must dash to go grocery shopping.
As for giving him a bowl of cherries (my favorite fruit), you wouldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t jump with joy. My point is: when you do something from the heart, you don’t expect rewards for it. The guy may be more touched if you helped a kid or an elderly person out in the street while on a date with him. People react differently to different gestures.
My [nonexistent] religious upbringing has nothing to do with what I’m saying, let alone Allah. I didn’t malign sex (read carefully); I just said that some men may choose not to bed a woman out of respect — how many women complain from men wanting only sex, and how many complain from men wanting none? While I agree with you on the depth of connection love-making provides, I find it odd that you attribute lack of sex to lack of interest.
I think the problem men and women have is that both have erroneous stereotypes about one another, courtesy of magazines/ movies/ music videos propagating cookie-cutter characteristics assigned to both sexes. People are too different to fit in one mold dictated by misinformation.
If a 14-year-old girl read this post, she would assume that her boyfriend doesn’t love her because he didn’t ask for sex, while we all know that a man asking a woman for sex isn’t a sign of his devoted love to her. You see the nuances of my point(s)?
.-= Wilmaryad´s last blog ..Joan Rivers Guide to a Happy Marriage For New Brides- Aging Wives and Women in Love =-.
Child, personally, ibdont think 14 year-olds are reading my blog but if they are–I doubt a simple post will make them think that.
And if your dating life works for you–go for it. It takes all kinds. It’s been my experience that guys who don’t appreciate the small things never will and we aren’t as saintly to just let it go. Maybe we should,
but I know I’m not. And that act of kindness is never done for praise,
but it’s nice to recieve acknowledgment.
Date more. Then come back to this blog and give me your thoughts.
When you’re a 35 year old gay adopted Mexican and have lived
life the way I have–you learn about people’s behaviors.
I agree that once an ungrateful bastard, always an ungrateful bastard. We just shouldn’t always expect him to have a heart attack every time we make a cutesy gesture, because that’d be like a child seeking parental validation, and boyfriends ain’t parents. It’s a mistake that made bit my fingers with regret throughout my teen years.
Nando, I come here as a friend, not a foe.
I, certainly, have a blank dating resume, but everything I learned is from the guys I did not date, or simply failed to build something substantial with. Dating success stories teach you lessons, and so do dating horror stories. 
Excellent content, buddy. And thank you for stopping by!
.-= Wilmaryad´s last blog ..Bernard H Levy and Arielle Dombasle Fairytale =-.
Nando luv, sorry I’ve been MIA for a bit. My many men in my program of 3 have been keeping me busy.
Your 5 points just seem obvious to me, especially #5. Ladies, guys like the hunt, if you are hunting them just give it up – they don’t want you. Sorry, truth hurts sometimes. The only time you being the hunter works is if the guy is extremely shy and even then, eventually he’ll start making the moves.
.-= Zia Zitella´s last blog ..The Date Application =-.
Excellent way to put it down Nando. Based on what I’m hearing, they should make a gay version of the hit romantic comedy “He’s Just Not That Into You. Lol. Love this post.
Nice Blog.
mwah ha ha I love your no bullshit advice style. Call it the ‘bitch slap’!
.-= LoveintheDumps´s last blog ..Types of dysfunctional daters- the Dissmiss-u-lator =-.
Wow, two out of five. Talk about denial!
So far I love your videos.. Right on the money : )
I would only like to add few more tips:
Offering help – If the guy offers to help you with something, like really excitedly “Hey, I can help you with that!” that is also a sign that he likes you. He wants to do something nice to you, to help you out, it’s also pretty obvious – no?
Carries on conversation – Have you noticed that he sometimes wants to just extend a conversation that has led to a dead end? If he really doesn’t want to end the talk and comes up with new topics, ideas, jokes, and if you determine that he does it deliberately – you’re right – HE LIKES YOU
Not mentioning other women – This can be a pretty clear giveaway. If he normally talks about women and mentions his female friends but when he talks to you – he doesn’t – then that can be a sign. Why does he do that? Well he just does not want you to think that he might like any of those girls… It’s weird, but guys do it subconsciously…
Well those are SOME of many signs if a guy likes you, but if you wanna know more, there’s a whole website covering the topic of how to tell if a guy likes you, so check it out –> http://www.ifaguylikesyou.com/