While doing research for my book, I found this naughty article on a woman who had repeated sex with her Gay best friend. I was in shock. I was mortified. I was sick to my stomach. Well, it might have been the bad Chinese food I ate the day before–but I really think it was the article. In this piece, she described having sex with her GBF over and over again throughout their “gayship,” you know, their gay girl/guy relationship. Eeeek, I was in Shock. I was mortified. I was…Oh, I said that already? And for this fornicating duo, in the end, it cost them their friendship.
I do know of this exact thing happening to a super gay queen-friend of mine. He got drunk while she complained about her husband and BAM–he was going down on her quicker than Kirstie Alley on a stack of blueberry flapjacks. He admits to taking quick intervals of alcohol breaks to get the taste of pennies out if his mouth. I don’t even want to know what that means. He also admits that during this hot one-night stand with his straight girlfriend, he’s not fully sure if they “did the deed” or not because he kept his eyes closed the entire time while imaging Tom Skerritt from Steel Magnolias. (Mind you, this is the guy that cried on the set of Sesame Street because Maria cursed him out for being “too queeny” on the set)
As I thought about the situation, the more I thought how it defied the laws of Gay nature. Sure, you can have sex with your GBF, but what’s that gonna do for you in the long run? Have sex with a carrot or a zebra why don’tcha? It’s just not natural. Men where meant to have sex with men, it’s in the bible–look it up, page 345, and straight women were made to sleep with straight boys. Yes, in the article, both parties were full-blown participants (no pun intended), but yikes! I can’t imagine it ever happening to me. Oooh, I just got sick again. Maybe I’m more of a queen that I’d like to admit. Oy! Does that mean I have to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race?
But I guess it’s like the reverse in the gay progression, no? Some gays, before coming out, have sex with girls, so why not the other way around? BECAUSE IT’S WRONG! (Sorry, did I say that out loud?) Imagine Carrie Bradshaw and Stanford, Jack and Karen (keep a straight-face) or the Tinman and Dorothy, c’mon, we all know he was Gay! (Scared of crows screams out HOMOSEXUAL and don’t get me started on his obsession with lube or his “oil can” as he described it!) I know, to each his own; I like red Kool-Aid you might like green, ain’t nothing wrong with that, but in a world where a gayship is sacred, I can’t help but wonder, “Can you have sex with your Gay best friend? or Should you have sex with your Gay best friend? or better yet, Why would you want to?
What are your thoughts on sleeping with your Gay Best Friend? Leave a comment. (And if you’ve had sex with your Gay best friend–spare me the details. Actually, e-mail them to me–so I can silently judge you) What? I’m Mexican, judging is in my DNA.