When trapped in the wonderful world of dating, and trying our hardest to connect with people we find attractive, feel chemistry for, or are just drunk enough to go home with, we still hope for the dater’s “aha moment” to occur. You know, the slight possibility of that magic moment reassuring us, “Oh, maybe it wasn’t such a huge mistake to come home with you after all.” But with that being said, there are a few phrases that will kill the mood–no matter where you live, what your income level is, or how big your velvet painting of Judy Garland is and here are a few that I’ve encountered.
The top 10 things NOT to say when bringing someone home to have sex with for the first time.
10. You’re not a screamer are you, cause my mom is a light sleeper.
9. Is it okay if my cat, Lester, watches?
8. We need to do this quick and you can’t stay over, my wife will be home early in the morning.
7. Can you wait for 15 more minutes, the Viagra should be working by then.
6. Do you mind if I stream this “live” on the internet?
5. You’re Mexican huh, do you mind if I go get a can of bean from the kitchen? Meow!
4. Will you fart on me, it’s a new thing I’m into.
3. If you feel an extra tongue, that’s just Agnes, don’t worry–okay?
2. I thought you looked familiar, but don’t worry, I’m on different meds now.
1. Oh, not in the bedroom, it hasn’t been sprayed for bedbugs yet.
These are true phrases that have spoiled the mood for me. What are some that you’ve heard? Please, don’t be shy. And with the diverse crowd I have reading my blog, this is one comment section I can’t wait to read!
My partner (who is black) got this: “I’ve never been with a black man before, I wonder what it’s like” He is still wondering.
Mine: (In a hotel room that has two double beds, after someone else comes in with his one-nighter) “It’s OK, it’s just my Dad”
Mike, I can always count on you for humor!
“God, Your so hot!!! I can’t wait to suck your……HEY!! What are these bumps here???”
eeeeeeew! but you got me there!
mood killer!
ahahahaha WOW, I wish I had some good line to put here, but right now my mind is drawing a blank from lack of these activities in my life the past 5 years hahahah but I sure loved reading that and cannot believe they are all true!!!!
ALL true. sad to say. so you have some homework to do!
come back and post!
OH, put this in at #1 and make your list 11. “Suck my coc$ like mommy.” Yes indeedy. Here’s the full story: http://www.dontmincewords.com/mommycocksucker/
.-= Marna´s last blog ..He’s just that into you =-.
I haven’t been propositioned for the first time in forever, so I have no lines to add here. but Nando, whoa, what were those people thinking?
.-= alisa´s last blog ..Try Not to Miss Me Too Much =-.
I’ll try not to be jealous! And who knows what they were thinking.
The sex was still good–but what a turn off! hehe
A really great bumper would be: will you still fuck me? If I say something that turns you off
child–don’t even get me started! ;0)
One mood killer is I can’t stay to long I have to go to my baby’s mamas house.