Here I am blogging while wearing my judgement cap–and it’s on tight! I’ve never understood certain aspects of life: world hunger, poverty and the “Missed Connections” section on Craigslist. I was exposed to it a few years ago when an ex roommate of mine would e-mail me posts that were directed to him–and he had a lot. Pretty much it would be men he’d run into in his daily life, but they were either too frightened to ask him out or too scared to out-right flirt with him so they’d wait until the interaction was over, then rush to Craigslist and write a post about it hoping that he’d be reading (which he was) and then respond. To me, it sounds a little passive and a whole lotta crazy.
So today I went looking around in the M4M Missed Connections section to see what the gay boys were up to this past week–and share a little joy. The following are just a few random postings; I did not alter them in any way, shape or form. (Trust me, I don’t have the imagination) But for a little extra added fun I analyzed the guys true meaning behind his post and added my interpretation.
10 Random Postings on Craigslist
1. NYSC 36th and Madison – guy who got caught in the showers – m4m (Midtown East) Probably not a smart thing to do. You flashed your c&*k in the sauna -I don’t hook up at the gym but, if you’re ever interested in getting together outside of NYSC (since your membership was probably revoked anyway) let me know.
Nando’s Interpretation: Sorry I didn’t speak to you as you were exposing yourself to me and the rest of the gym, but I like your style and although I have high yet false standards I want to have sex with you.
2. Hot Guy with big belly from G & G Restoration – m4m – 48 (Murray Hill) I was checking you out on 30th Street this morning. Just couldn’t take my eyes off that huge round gut on you!! SO sexy!!
Nando’s Interpretation: I am a chubby chaser who will flat out declare your extra weight to cyberspace regardless of your feelings…and I want to have sex with you.
3. I met you at Starbucks counterguy Greenwich Ave (you: 20something) – m4m – 45 (Greenwich Village) 2 Fridays ago you were cleaning the counter with the sugars and milks, and smiled a most beautiful smile asking me about my weekend. You struck up a conversation with me asking me what I had planned for my weekend, which consisted of a Long Island Pool Party and dinner with family. You told me you were going to a club. I then told you that I can’t do that… I’m sober, and we wished eachother a good weekend. You always have the kindest smile, and would love to get to know you better.
Nando’s Interpretation: In my sobriety, I forgot how to put 2 and 2 together because I know where you work but I just don’t know how to get a hold of you ever again…in my lifetime…and it’s a shame because I want to have sex with you.
4. mike from colombia 2 tain from brooklin – m4m – 35 (2 train from brooklin to manhattan last) hey mike, we was on a 2 train last night from brooklin and we both got out at the same station, you told me you going to jersey city and we exchange the #s but you number is no working please let me know if you got this message.will be happy time if you got this.
Nando’s Interpretation: I am really Borat and I’m learnings the Englishes but I want to have the sexy time with you. I hope you like thick moustache in anuses
5. old navy on 34th – m4m – 32 (Midtown) You are the young latino mid 20′s so damm sexy I think your a supervisor saw you on friday 8/21 u had on a blue polo ask me if I needed help saw you were eyeing me email me if you see this tell me what I had on so I know its you.
Nando’s Interpretation: I’m a cheap bastard because I shop at Old Navy but I’m getting better I did buy a shirt from H&M that same day(on sale)…but you make minimum wage so it shouldn’t really matter…e-mail me because I want to have sex with you.
6. The cute BOY at Marius Cafe on Henry – m4m – 35 (Carroll Gardens)
I walked by a couple times around 1030 or so. I guess you close up shop? Super duper cute. You were also talking to a bud with a white tshirt tonite who went out for a smoke. Let me know if you and/or him ever need a bj or something. Cleancut fit white nice guy here. Happy to have some safe fun. Hit me up.
Nando’s Interpretation: I am bit of a geek because I refuse to let go of the word “duper” in my vocabulary but in any case I am a friendly guy who likes to be free with his mouth and wanted to know if you or your friend would like to participate in mouth-to-penis therapy. I’m great in a team environment and as I said, I am clean cut but dirty at heart and I want to have sex with you (and your friend).
7. Columbia U, walking toward gym, Wed 7:30 PM – m4m (Upper West Side) You’re a tall hot guy with brown hair. You were walking toward the gym (I think, judging from your clothes) when I saw you Wednesday evening at around 7: 30 PM. You were carrying a gym bag and wearing black shorts and a blue sleeveless tee-shirt. I hope I hear from you!
Nando’s Interpretation: Not only am I a shy bastard, I’m also an idiot. I know I didn’t describe myself in my posting but I’ve watched Sleepless in Seattle so many times to know that you’ll find me..one day soon because…I want to have sex with you.
8. NYSC 94th, hot latino I almost hooked up with – m4m – 29 (Upper West Side) I am a big beefy guy, you are the hot latino with the huge uncut c*&k. i started jacking, you showed me your c*#k, we moved to get closer and then someone came in. I followed you next door, but you got nervous and said sorry you had a wife. Lets hook up, i can be very discreet
Nando’s Interpretation: I am totally into home wrecking, Martha Stewart and random hook ups with married men at the gym. The tan line on your ring finger only turns me on more so e-mail me cause I want to have sex with you.
9. I walked behind you, admiring your neck tattoo – m4m – 29 (Chelsea) It was Sunday the 16th, around 5pm maybe? We were both walking west on 15th street….we branched off at 7th ave… I went into West side market…. Im a fool for not stopping and talking to you. who knows, maybe you’ll see this and we can get to know eachother…..
Nando’s Interpretation: I am a fool. I am also stupid. And not to mention a complete moron because I walked behind you all the way and you never got a look at me yet I’m here hopelessly waiting for your response e-mail. I know you’ll write me, I just feel it. I was the one breathing really hard on your neck. I hope you write soon because…I want to have sex with you.
10. Our Dogs – m4m – 23 (Astoria) Whats going on? Looking for the charming fellow I met the other day while we were both playing with our 10month old dogs. You gave me your name, and I gave you mine – but I can’t seem to remember yours or your dog’s name. We were on a concrete playground – throwing around the frisbee. Let me know the breed of your/my dog and your name and it will come to me once you say it too, I’m sure. Long shot, but hopefully you see this. Been thinking about maybe catching a movie with you? You were on your way to one the afternoon we met.
Nando’s Interpretation: I work as a neurologist and when things get too much for me I write random posts on CL and make it a goal to not make sense. I think this one doesn’t make sense at all–Oh Joy! I hope you get this and tell me my name because if you do tell me my name I will remember my name and then we can meet up because I want to have sex with you.