At the ripe age of 34 I’m discovering that dating can actually be a fun experience and for me–the roller coaster adventure-ride has just begun. It’s no longer about nerves, expectations or “pretending” to be something or some one I’m not–it’s about being authentic and experiencing the moment and if you’re doing it right, can be thrilling, sexy and steamy–especially when you’re a gay cougar.
I recently met a 20-year-old Dominican “little hottie” from Brooklyn. I know what you’re about to say, “Isn’t he a little “older” than what you usually date?” Yes, it’s true. This cougar-in-training usually goes for the 19-year-olds but “the hottie” had charm, confidence and a masculine arrogance about him that drew me in faster than a pedophile at a Disney’s Mousekateer round-up.
We made plans to meet on a Monday but after several exchanges of witty, sexy banter–we bumped up the date to the previous Friday after his workday and met at Coney Island where I discovered he was everything I thought he’d be: rough, tough yet sweet and sensitive.
The Hottie: Wanna ride the Cyclone?
Nando: Already? But we just met. Oh, you mean the roller coaster? (Shooting him a sexy look)
The Hottie: (Wearing a huge smile and an even bigger erection) C’mon, this is one “first date” you won’t soon forget.
There was a thick and heavy sexual tension between the two of us and our two masculine bodies squeezed into a roller-coaster cart made for a heightened lust experience. I felt an adrenaline rush, my endorphins crashing and a cluster of butterflies and that was just the two of us sitting there waiting for the ride to start.
After the ride we walked towards the boardwalk, took our shoes off and walked along the beach where the water was lightly caressing the sand. We found a perfect spot away from everyone which allowed us to focus on one another and really connect.
He was romantic, intelligent and kept me laughing with his razor-sharp humor. I could hardly concentrate; his full-pouty lips were visually distracting, not to mention his dreamy brown bedroom-eyes and his thick, dark unruly curls that begged to be touched.
Sitting there listening to the soft waves crashing against the rocks, I could hear my heart beating faster and was swept away with one romantic gesture from “the hottie” as he took a deep look into my eyes followed by a smile.
Nando:(In a sheepish tone) I want to kiss you.
The Hottie: (With a masculine confidence) What’s stopping you?
And the sparks flew. No, literally, there were fireworks going off at that precise moment at Coney Island and it just seemed to fit the mood perfectly. I can’t really remember what happened then…but all I know is that I’m still removing sand out of places on my body that sand should never be.
“The hottie” and I left the beach and he came back to my place–which is a personal rule I broke. When I really like someone and would like to explore the possibility of actually dating this person, I never invite them home; it’s a personal rule that I follow but something was different with “the hottie”.
As we walked back to my place we talked about music–everything from Brandy (back when she was good) to Michael Jackson (he was still alive at this point). I remember thinking how amazing this 20-year-old was and how much knowledge he had on every topic I brought up. Was is because everything was still fresh in his mind–he had only graduated high school a few years ago. (Wow, writing that doesn’t make me feel too good since that means he would have been in diapers when I graduated high school or was he still a sperm?)
Our first date officially ended 20 hours later as he spent the night and didn’t leave until 6 pm the next day. Today we meet up for our third date and I’m excited about it. Since we are both Alpha-males, there does tend to be a male dominance issue going on but we’ve been talking a lot on the phone, getting to know one another and the discovery process can be a wonderful thing when you’re completely into the other person and want to uncover the mysteries behind the man.
But I ask myself, is it possible to break your own dating rules and still get back on the right dating path? Or does the rulebook now get re-written for a bumpier roller coaster ride?