For the past six months, I’ve been getting e-mails from women asking me to write a blog helping them answer one of life’s most puzzling questions, “How To Tell If Your Man Is Gay?” I also get asked from the men, “Why does my girlfriend want me to always touch her?” But that’s another blog dilemma.
How to tell if your man is gay is a struggle that certain women face on a daily basis. I enlisted a straight friend, Roy Perez, to give us a straight male’s perspective on the topic. This post is written from an entertainment perspective, but if you are struggling with this topic, feel free to reach out on a personal level and I will get back to you.
So from a humorous and “for entertainment purposes only,” here is a straight man’s perspective:
How to Tell if Your Man is Gay
When Nando asked me to write out this article, I laughed my ass off
and thought “Why not, this should be fun”. So, I pulled out my blackberry and began typing as I ran errands all over the upper west side:
Let’s start off with the more and more common NYC metrosexual:
me·tro·sex·ual [ mèttrō sékshoo əl ] (plural: me·tro·sex·uals)
noun | Definition: young straight stylish urban man: a young, straight (questionable),sensitive urban man who is unashamed to enjoy good clothes, stylish living, the art of decorating, and improving his personal appearance(informal).
Now I’m not saying that these guys are totally gay or for that matter
even gay at all. I myself enjoy good clothes and shoes, stylish
living, and even decorating when it involves my home but these guys
should be the easiest to spot and here is how:
TOP 15 SIGNS THAT YOUR MAN IS GAY:
1. If he pees sitting down there is a 85% chance that he’s gay.
2. When blowing your man’s “candle” and fondling him with your
tongue, your man requests or shoves your head down to lick his
ass–ummm, ladies that may be a good sign that he’s possibly gay. Now while most straight men do enjoy a good licking, you really have to watch out for the ones that show off their yoga skills and throw their legs behind their head the second you pass the testicular area and head further down south.
3. If he drinks martinis on the first date he’s gay.
4. If the martini is an exotic fruit flavor he’s SUPER gay.
5. If his favorite cartoon growing up was Rainbow Brite, the Care
Bears or She-Ra, he’s gay.
6. When a guy likes to get a manicure and pedicure more than once a month or even a week for that matter, that’s a clear sign that your dude might be gay. It can’t get any clearer than the coating on his fingernails ladies.
7. If a guy carries a man-purse for ANY reason other than holding it
for his gay brother, he’s gay.
8. If he has feminine mannerisms and a crazy lisp he’s gay.
9. If his favorite color is swirly pink or passionate purple or a combination of both he’s gay.
10. If his favorite movie is the 300 he could be gay.
11. If he drives a bubble gum-colored Volkswagen beetle by choice he’s gay.
12. When a guy gets his eyebrows waxed, or plucked, or threaded more times than you, definitely LOOK out–“wink, wink”.
13. If a guy spends more than an hour on his hair, look out to see what hair products he’s using–if they’re not extremely masculine products such as Old Spice, hair gel, or mousse, then Houston, you have a problem!
14. If he enjoys watching Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives, and Grey’s Anatomy he’s gay!!!
15. If he wears thongs and isn’t a professional stripper, he’s gay.