For the past six months, I’ve been getting e-mails from women asking me to write a blog helping them answer one of life’s most puzzling questions, “How to tell if my guy is gay?”
How to tell if your man is gay is a struggle that certain women face on a daily basis. So I put it out there in order to get different perspectives on the subject and my good friend, Roy Perez–a straight hottie; damn it!–who’s the creative mastermind behind Entourage, New York’s best nightlife website giving you the “inside scoop” on all the hottest parties and the trendiest restaurants to eat, said he’d take a stab at it. So from the straight man’s perspective, ladies, here are the top 15 signs that tell you if the guy you’re dating is gay.
When Nando asked me to write out this article, I laughed my ass off
and thought “Why not, this should be fun”. So, I pulled out my blackberry and began typing as I ran errands all over the upper west side:
Let’s start off with the more and more common NYC metrosexual:
me·tro·sex·ual [ mèttrō sékshoo əl ] (plural: me·tro·sex·uals)
noun | Definition: young straight stylish urban man: a young, straight (questionable),sensitive urban man who is unashamed to enjoy good clothes, stylish living, the art of decorating, and improving his personal appearance(informal).
Now I’m not saying that these guys are totally gay or for that matter
even gay at all. Lord knows I enjoy good clothes and shoes, stylish
living, and even decorating when it involves my home but these guys
should be the easiest to read and here is how:
TOP 15 SIGNS THAT YOUR MAN IS GAY:
1. If he pees sitting down there is a 85% chance that he’s gay.
2. When blowing your man’s “candle” and fondling his balls with your
tongue, your man requests or shoves your head down to lick his
ass–ummm, ladies that may be a good sign that he’s possibly gay. Now while most straight men do enjoy a good licking, you really have to watch out for the ones that show off their yoga skills and throw their legs behind their head the second you pass the testicular area and head further down south.
3. If he drinks martinis he’s gay.
4. If the martini is an exotic fruit he’s SUPER gay.
5. If his favorite cartoon growing up was Rainbow Brite, the Care
Bears or She-Ra, he’s gay.
6. When a guy likes to get a manicure and pedicure more than once a month or even a week for that matter, that’s a clear sign that your dude might be gay. It can’t get any clearer than the coating on his fingernails ladies.
7. If a guy carries a man-purse for ANY reason other than holding it
for his gay brother, he’s gay.
8. If he has feminine mannerisms and a crazy lisp he’s gay.
9. If his favorite color is pink or purple or both he’s gay.
10. If his favorite movie is the 300 he could be gay.
11. If he drives a Volkswagen beetle by choice he’s gay.
12. When a guy gets his eyebrows waxed, or plucked, or threaded more times than you, definitely LOOK out–“wink, wink”.
13. If a guy spends more than an hour on his hair, look out to see what hair products he’s using–if they’re not extremely masculine products such as Old Spice hair gel then Houston, you have a problem!
14. If he enjoys watching Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives, or Greys Anatomy he’s gay!!!
15. If he wears thongs and isn’t a professional stripper, he’s gay.
Follow Roy Perez on Twitter here
And don’t forget to check out my eBook, Dating Stuff: The Things About Dating You Ought To Know available for download, now!